Author ZayKayWill Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 No one is saying you have to be rude to an EX. Being cordial is fine. Purposefully spending time with an EX. . . that's where things get dicey for most of us. Yeah like I said I wouldn't hang out with them often, and if you do it's better to do it in a group setting or with your SO in the picture as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 I don't understand why there's such a desire on your part to stay friends with your ex's. If it's not there, let it go. Why should it matter you're not friends with all of them? In my mind, staying friends with someone you had a crappy relationship with doesn't really make sense and is just a good way to muddy up any fresh starts going forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZayKayWill Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 I don't understand why there's such a desire on your part to stay friends with your ex's. If it's not there, let it go. Why should it matter you're not friends with all of them? In my mind, staying friends with someone you had a crappy relationship with doesn't really make sense and is just a good way to muddy up any fresh starts going forward. The relationship itself wasn't crappy, just the way that it ended. After a year and a half of not talking to each other she apologized for the mistakes she made, so in turn my respect for her came back and we were able to be friends again. I guess the fact that she was able to admit to her mistakes is what makes me respect her as much as I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful30 Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 I would love to be friends with (most) of my exes, because the truth is we got along for a reason, and they each know me in such a different way that having them as friends would be extremely beneficial. They could give me valuable advice, but unfortunately this never worked out, because they always hoped we would get back together and I constantly got annoyed that they tried. I was okay being friends, even after they started dating someone, but the moment I did, they would get offended and I understood they weren't capable of having me in their life without me being their woman. So they just cut me off completely. Plus their new girlfriends never liked me very much, and I get that. I would wan't my man hanging out with any of his exes, platonic or not. After being intimate, there is a closeness there that will always remain, even if you're just friends. I am too selfish and want the closest connection to be with me, not another woman, so I understand why the new girlfriends weren't happy with me in the picture. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 I would love to be friends with (most) of my exes, because the truth is we got along for a reason, and they each know me in such a different way that having them as friends would be extremely beneficial. They could give me valuable advice, but unfortunately this never worked out, because they always hoped we would get back together and I constantly got annoyed that they tried. I was okay being friends, even after they started dating someone, but the moment I did, they would get offended and I understood they weren't capable of having me in their life without me being their woman. So they just cut me off completely. Plus their new girlfriends never liked me very much, and I get that. I would wan't my man hanging out with any of his exes, platonic or not. After being intimate, there is a closeness there that will always remain, even if you're just friends. I am too selfish and want the closest connection to be with me, not another woman, so I understand why the new girlfriends weren't happy with me in the picture. All good reasons to get rid of an ex. Everyone has their good points but unless you want to get back together, it's like picking up fodder for future drama.... why people want to complicate their lives unnecessarily is beyond me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZayKayWill Posted March 17, 2017 Author Share Posted March 17, 2017 All good reasons to get rid of an ex. Everyone has their good points but unless you want to get back together, it's like picking up fodder for future drama.... why people want to complicate their lives unnecessarily is beyond me. It's really not that complicated. Talk to your spouse, establish whatever your boundaries are, discuss what you are and aren't okay with and you're good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Generally speaking most (but not all) of my relationships were very close, loving, and serious. They endings were not happy for one or both of us. So no I did not stay friends. My wife for a while did keep in contact with many of her partners, some were very brief flings. I was not comfortable with this (long story) and asked her to make a break with 90% of them. I feel that some ex's can present high risk for cheating in new relationships. There is a familiarity and comfort factor there that makes it easier to slip back into (pun intended). I speak from experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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