What should I do?

[ladybird]

My ex (since February) texted me a couple of weeks ago about a letter addressed to me sent to his mum by mistake, he said that he would forward it on.

 

He also said that it would be nice to meet up soon but only when or if I want to.

 

I wanted to leave it a couple a weeks before thinking about whether to meet him or not, mainly due to the fact that my father died recently and had other, more important things to think about.

 

Well, it is now a couple of weeks later and I am wondering what to do. I really would like a reconciliation but I am scared to meet him because I feel that I wont hear what I want to hear and be devastated all over again but I also don't want to miss a chance to have him back if there is a chance, even a small one.

 

My head hurts thinking about it all. I suppose if I want a chance, I am going to have to risk feeling terrible again. I have done so well having no contact with him for 4+ months now, and even though I really miss him and love him, I feel that I have come along way since the early days of wanting to die!

 

I am just so scared of how I am going to feel seeing him for the first time in 4 months. I am scared that we wont have anything to say to each other, that it will feel awkward, almost like we are strangers.

 

If I meet him, I'd like to think that I will appear strong and happy, that I am doing fine without him, which I do feel to a certain extent (I wouldn't say I was exactly happy though) but I just have no idea what seeing him will do to me.

 

Does anyone have any advice?

[Love2share]

You really need to think about why you want to see him. Clearly, you still love him. If he loved you, 4 months would not have gone by without contact between the two of you. Sometimes, people like to see people they haven't seen in a while just to see how they are doing. I don't think he is making a big deal out of seeing you, so neither should you.

 

Seeing him again when you still love him and aren't completely over him is definately a dangerous zone. If you deciede to see him, be really careful not to get hurt again. IMO, you shouldn't see him, not yet. Maybe wait until you have met somebody new. Right now, it's not a good time for you.

 

I've been in your position before. I saw my XBF after 6mos of NC. I was hopeful that we would reconcile everything. He just missed me and the fun we had together. But he didn't want to reconcile anything. He was already dating someone else. Seeing how happy he was just made me feel more like crap.