Wayne0789456 Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 I am considering the below as an online dating profile. Ladies, what do you think? Would you respond to this? Or, do I need to make changes for you to respond? **************************** Do you enjoy long, romantic, moonlit walks, holding hands, just enjoying each other's company? Would your idea of romance be sitting on a picnic blanket in the grass, looking up at the stars, in front of him, his arms around you pulling you close to him? How about sitting on a bench, by a lake, in his lap, your head in his shoulder, one hand around you, the other running his fingers through your hair? If that is romance to you, then we already have one major thing in common . I like to see that she is happy, and I am very sensitive, and a good listener. If you are sad, or upset for any reason, or just want to talk...I'm there!! I'd like her to know that she can count on me. I am seeking a romantic, honest, caring woman, who is the same in return, to share good times and common interests, and eventually more . Some of the activities I enjoy most are miniature golf, pedalboating, sightseeing, roadtrips, festivals, and more. During October, I tend to immerse in haunted houses and hayrides, and even more so in parades and light shows during the Holiday season. I'd love to experience all of these with her, in addition to her interests, as well. I also find it romantic to dress up often for dinner out at somewhat upscale restaurants, so I hope that she enjoys the same, frequently, as well. She prefers the ambiance of a romantic dinner in a classier restaurant, to a chain or a bistro. If I have described you in this profile, I cannot wait to hear from you . Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 No. It starts out by talking about how you're going to be all over her touching, and remember this is for a first date, so it seems creepy to me and like a guarantee the guy is going to try it on the first date, even if that was not your intention. Also, it's too ooey-gooey. Let me see if I can edit it. First of all, I'd put it in first person, using "I." I like old-school romance: walks holding hands, picnics in the grass, and I am a good listener. I'll always be there for you if you want to talk, and I am someone you can depend on. I'm looking for a woman who can reciprocate that type of romance and caring. Some of the activities I enjoy most are miniature golf, pedalboating, sightseeing, roadtrips, festivals, and more. During October, I tend to immerse in haunted houses and hayrides, and even more so in parades and light shows during the Holiday season and am open to trying new things you enjoy. I find it romantic to dress up often for dinner out at somewhat upscale restaurants, so I hope to find a woman who enjoys that as well, someoene who prefers the ambiance of a romantic dinner in a classier restaurant to chains or a bistro. If I have described you in this profile, I cannot wait to hear from you. If that is romance to you, then we already have one major thing in common. Good luck! It sounds fun. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 I thought I was reading a brochure for a resort ha 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 No I wouldn't respond. It's a bunch of empty clichés. What is unique about you? Change it to something like this: I'm a holiday kind of guy. I promise to hold your hand & protect you from the big scary monsters as we creep through my favorite Haunted Houses at Halloween. I'll always be there to drive through the neighborhood to look at the holiday lights. Fourth of July will find us sharing a blanket watching the night sky light up. I'm looking for someone to build a romance with. I want that person who makes every day seem like a celebration just because we are together, whether playing miniature golf, pedal-boating, sightseeing, going on roadtrips, enjoying festivals or just dining out around town. Your profile has to be different from every other guy but contain something that will make a woman want to message you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 No way, for a lot of reasons. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 (edited) Just no....... Edit: unless you're super good looking Edit 2: actually, not even if you're good looking. No. I would not respond. Edited March 16, 2017 by Cookiesandough 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Please use this profile...report back with any replies that you get, haha! Not sure if serious... Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 **** Moderators Note**** Google spiders the webpage and posts here at LoveShack.. so your post will be searchable in google by the words you posted. You might want to make changes to your profile so whoever googles you while doing OLD they don't come back to your post here on LoveShack.. Just a reminder to how you post here. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Yeah not feelin' it at all. Tell me about yourself, not that you want me sitting on your lap. It's fine to say you are a romantic - but what else? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Ahh NO.. Write about your likes and interests and a little about who you are. That is all. Not some cheesy over the top cliche ridden sonnet. Link to post Share on other sites
MajesticUnicorn Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 I have to echo what the other women above me have said, and would highly suggest changing it! To me it sounds really cheesy and borderline creepy, and way too many smiley faces. Just try being a little more authentic and genuine. Share your interests, express what you are looking for, but don't feel the need to embellish every word and make it sound "romantic." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 No. It starts out by talking about how you're going to be all over her touching, and remember this is for a first date, so it seems creepy to me and like a guarantee the guy is going to try it on the first date, even if that was not your intention. Also, it's too ooey-gooey. Let me see if I can edit it. First of all, I'd put it in first person, using "I." I like old-school romance: walks holding hands, picnics in the grass, and I am a good listener. I'll always be there for you if you want to talk, and I am someone you can depend on. I'm looking for a woman who can reciprocate that type of romance and caring. Some of the activities I enjoy most are miniature golf, pedalboating, sightseeing, roadtrips, festivals, and more. During October, I tend to immerse in haunted houses and hayrides, and even more so in parades and light shows during the Holiday season and am open to trying new things you enjoy. I find it romantic to dress up often for dinner out at somewhat upscale restaurants, so I hope to find a woman who enjoys that as well, someoene who prefers the ambiance of a romantic dinner in a classier restaurant to chains or a bistro. If I have described you in this profile, I cannot wait to hear from you. If that is romance to you, then we already have one major thing in common. Good luck! It sounds fun. your edit rocks pre raph ....perfect 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 (edited) hey i am a poet and i wouldnt put that as a profile.....sonnets rock...poetry is awesome...however...most people find it flowery..... pre raph gave you a a succinct edit.....actually made it more personable...... i have to ask if you are going to add all those smiley faces.....please dont....its distracting.....like pac man has written the profile.....you need some ellipses to feed the smiley faces.....or those smiley faces will just die ...just die ...kidding....dont add smiley faces or ellipses...people get pissed.....and wont answer you or read what you have to say.....trust me i know...im the ellipse girl....many avoid reading......).....smiley face to emphasize.....only the very patient and forgiving read my posts from start to finish......... in my profile as a poet this is what i wrote... dont be shy and i wont be either..... for me that says many things..... in profiles find the least amount of words you have to say to get your point across.....make them want to know more not less.....leave the deeper stuff for personal and private messaging......make it light on words and context...make it funny....make it fresh.......make it more importantly just like you......not just pretty words on a page.....deb Edited March 16, 2017 by todreaminblue 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Not a hope of response from me. For starters, get rid of the smiley faces. The romance thing sounds so contrived. (And to be honest, so does the focus on clothing and romantic restaurants in your other thread) I get the feeling that you've got a vision running in your mind of how you want your relationship to look and you're doing your best to recreate it in real life. The end result is a complete lack of spontaneity. And I think the best things in life come from being spontaneous. (And I've just given myself the wording for a response I haven't yet written on your restaurant thread. I will continue there). I'd also be wary about you wanting to make me happy and being a sensitive listener. I'm not a delicate flower who needs to lean on a man to find comfort. I am responsible for my own happiness. And frankly, I need a guy who will not allow me to bulldoze him. You sound a bit too 'soft' for me. I've never truly understood the whole alpha/beta thing...I've usually scoffed at the concept. But this just screams 'beta' and I finally get it. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Life lessons Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 I agree with the above responses. I immediately thought you need to leave the emojis out. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 >> Some of the activities I enjoy most are miniature golf, pedalboating, sightseeing, roadtrips, festivals, and more. During October, I tend to immerse in haunted houses and hayrides, and even more so in parades and light shows during the Holiday season.<< A little more tweaking here. This list of interests sounds like you only enjoy romantic things. But what do you do for fun when there's no girlfriend? Do you go and see live music? Do you ski? Do you surf? Cycle? 18 holes of Golf? (Looking for evidence of you being truly active - pedal boating and mini golf does not count). Perhaps you have an interest in car shows. Or you like Sci Fi movies. An afternoon of barefoot lawn bowls with your friends? (is that a thing where you are?) Don't leave this stuff out. While many women may enjoy romance, there is far more to life and you need to let her know what else you like doing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 >> Some of the activities I enjoy most are miniature golf, pedalboating, sightseeing, roadtrips, festivals, and more. During October, I tend to immerse in haunted houses and hayrides, and even more so in parades and light shows during the Holiday season.<< A little more tweaking here. This list of interests sounds like you only enjoy romantic things. But what do you do for fun when there's no girlfriend? Do you go and see live music? Do you ski? Do you surf? Cycle? 18 holes of Golf? (Looking for evidence of you being truly active - pedal boating and mini golf does not count). Perhaps you have an interest in car shows. Or you like Sci Fi movies. An afternoon of barefoot lawn bowls with your friends? (is that a thing where you are?) Don't leave this stuff out. While many women may enjoy romance, there is far more to life and you need to let her know what else you like doing. true basil many women want a man who is romantic but doesnt mind getting his hands dirty.at least women wants to know a man can face bed hair and fuzzy old tshirts........ in the morning and still feel attracted...without heels........ water fights... wrestling...alpha women need alpha men......its great fun to play dress ups and wear heels with a string of pearls and a little black dress and be audrey for a night..then go home and get ripped jeans on and wrestle for the remote to watch horror flicks and sci fi.......and sometimes women want to play tomb raider dress in khakis big black boots on and blow stuff up/......you certainly dont want to have to protect the man you are with in mud runs or paint ball...you want a guy who is determined in treasure hunts...competitive.........its about diversity in all situations..adaptability..cater to multiple personalities....and pms...theres a time and a place for poetry and fine dining...and theres a place for blowing up watermelons and mud wrestling too..........deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 true basil many women want a man who is romantic but doesnt mind getting his hands dirty.at least women wants to know a man can face bed hair and fuzzy old tshirts........ in the morning and still feel attracted...without heels........ water fights... wrestling...alpha women need alpha men......its great fun to play dress ups and wear heels with a string of pearls and a little black dress and be audrey for a night..then go home and get ripped jeans on and wrestle for the remote to watch horror flicks and sci fi.......and sometimes women want to play tomb raider dress in khakis big black boots on and blow stuff up/......you certainly dont want to have to protect the man you are with in mud runs or paint ball...you want a guy who is determined in treasure hunts...competitive.........its about diversity in all situations..adaptability..cater to multiple personalities....and pms...theres a time and a place for poetry and fine dining...and theres a place for blowing up watermelons and mud wrestling too..........deb Not to mention going out in a group with each other's friends to dinner or music or a party. He needs to demonstrate that he's up for more than just couple activities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 **** Moderators Note**** Google spiders the webpage and posts here at LoveShack.. so your post will be searchable in google by the words you posted. You might want to make changes to your profile so whoever googles you while doing OLD they don't come back to your post here on LoveShack.. Thanks. It works the other way as well. I just messaged ten beta guys!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 You aren't interested in speaking to every woman, just the women that are right for you. What some women find attractive, others will see as a turn off. If your profile gets you the type of woman you seek, it's working. If it's getting you the opposite of what you seek, then it needs to be overhauled. That being said, here is my feedback: The first portion reads like a cut and paste from a Harlequin romance novel. It comes across as insincere. Specifically, it sounds as if you're trying to sell me some cliche of what you think I want to hear, rather than what you actually want. I liked that you included specific activities that you enjoy. That gives us a sense of who you are and allows me to picture myself enjoying specific activities with you. Now for the whole restaurant thing, I would drop it! I've read hundreds of guys' profiles. Not once, other than yours, has any guy mentioned restaurants or "upscale" restaurants! If you insist on mentioning it, then specify a few names of restaurants to avoid confusion. If I recall, you're the flip flop-hating guy who is particular about what clothing your date wears. Your definition of upscale and mine are totally different. When I hear upscale, I expect one of my favorite Michelin three-star restaurants. From your other threads, I would be sorely disappointed as we would be slumming it at some chain steakhouse, the Olive Garden, or Red Lobster. That being said, there's absolutely no reason to be mentioning vague "upscale" restaurants in your profile. The focus of your profile should be about you, not dining at "upscale"restaurants that aren't. I suspect that's why you're attracting the flip flop-wearing, casualties...they share your definition of what upscale means. Overall, your profile just comes across as fake and insincere. It suggests you're a striver trying to impress with some fantasy you think women want to hear, rather than the genuine article. I would throw this profile out and start a new version from scratch. The only portion that stays is the section on the types of activities you enjoy. Otherwise, back to the drawing board! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Now, see, the upscale restaurant thing would definitely appeal to me, and dressing up to go to it. And I agree with him no one should wear flip flops on a date (If he was that guy) unless the date is to the beach. Come on. Rubber flip flops? Can't you spend more than $1.99 on shoes for a date? Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 He never said rubber flip flops. I specifically asked about that before. Even dressy, bejeweled, cute leather flip flops were verboten at Red Lobster or wherever. He preferred Birkenstocks!!! I had a hard time wrapping my head around someone preferring Birkenstocks, so I moved on to other discussions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Well, we won't argue about style, but Birkenstocks are about the least feminine thing you can put on your feet. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Agreed! They should be abolished as they're about as hideous and heinous as it gets in footwear! About the only place they belong is on a flower child singing kumbaya and waving a peace flag at Woodstock or something. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 Maybe Birkenstock flip flops would be OK for the OP? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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