chichi Posted July 26, 2005 Share Posted July 26, 2005 well i know i keep talking about the same thing....but i met this new guy and he is so sweet and god damn is he fine....well i have known him for quite some time but i never talked to him until now.....well we have been talking and i feel so comfortable with him and he says the same we have been talking alot lately and it is nice to talk to someone that i can relate to....well the problem is that everyone says that he sweet talks girls but really doesnt care about them....everyone says he is a player and i shouldnt mess with him..... i like him so much though i dont know what to do he doesnt act like a player but the best players dont get caught and know how to play the game. i dont want to start liking him anymore than i already do because i am scared of getting played. he calls me all the time and we talk about everything with eachother he says the stuff he has told me he has never told anyone before. we talk on the phone for hours and hours just talking and sharing our secrets with eachother. and he seems to really like me but im not sure. should i believe everyone else or just see what happens.....please give advice i need some really bad? Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 26, 2005 Share Posted July 26, 2005 Originally posted by chichi everyone says he is a player and i shouldnt mess with him..... This would make me suspicious. he says the stuff he has told me he has never told anyone before. And this here. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted July 26, 2005 Share Posted July 26, 2005 he calls me all the time and we talk about everything with eachother he says the stuff he has told me he has never told anyone before. we talk on the phone for hours and hours just talking and sharing our secrets with eachother. and he seems to really like me but im not sure. I have said and done this exact thing with women and I really didn't like them. What did I want with them? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 26, 2005 Share Posted July 26, 2005 He's feeding you a line (s) and could be seeing how far he can go with you...Don't allow yourself to become emotionally attached to him. As soon as he knows this or feels you starting to "need" him, he'll do a 180 on you and split. Nothing scares off a guy like him fast enough! As long as HE pulls the strings and has full control of the situation all is OK. You start putting demands or anything on him...You'll see the backside of him running fast and heading for the hills. If you want 'just' friendship with him, be a buddy and be casual. Don't expect ANYTHING from him that way you don't get disappointed. Trust me, he is NOT boyfriend material. Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 just because people might call me a slut doesn't actually make me one. maybe they just don't like me. the only one who would know whether i was truly a slut or not would be me. see what i'm saying? Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 See now, I was in a similar situation...everyone kept saying he was a player...and they were RIGHT!..as I found out later Think about it - could ALL those people warning you about him be wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 chichi, I know a guy at work that is exactly like that and yes he is a player. I can`t imagine why someone would spend untold hours on the phone charming a gal but it seems to be a game. It is all uphill untill you hit the sack with him and downhill after that. As long as he has not put the baloney to the wild pony you are a challange. After that you are boring him and a nuisance. Link to post Share on other sites
katty Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 hello that is why he is called a player, chichi, don't you see, a player knows exactly what to say and do and a true player can do it without your even realizing he is a player, that is until you see the result of his playing, you get played, Do you understand now? Players are smooth and you don't know what hit you until they have exited the building and left you standing there with your heart torn apart. Don't fall for him, he is doing the exact things a player does, being very sweet, a great listener, etc. but I tell you how you can find out really fast, fall for his lines, tell him you have fallen in love etc. and see how fast he changes his mind and his game. Please be careful, others are warning you bc they have probably felt or seen his end results when he is thru playin ya. Take care and find yourself a real man, one who has put away such foolish games, no wait a minute if you find a real man send him my way I want to see what one looks like. lol Link to post Share on other sites
katty Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 hello that is why he is called a player, chichi, don't you see, a player knows exactly what to say and do and a true player can do it without your even realizing he is a player, that is until you see the result of his playing, you get played, Do you understand now? Players are smooth and you don't know what hit you until they have exited the building and left you standing there with your heart torn apart. Don't fall for him, he is doing the exact things a player does, being very sweet, a great listener, etc. but I tell you how you can find out really fast, fall for his lines, tell him you have fallen in love etc. and see how fast he changes his mind and his game. Please be careful, others are warning you bc they have probably felt or seen his end results when he is thru playin ya. Take care and find yourself a real man, one who has put away such foolish games, no wait a minute if you find a real man send him my way I want to see what one looks like. lol Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 i don't think it seems like this guy has actually done anything or said anything yet to make her believe he's a player. all she has is heresay, and i don't think that's fair, really. i mean, how would you like it if no one would have anything to do with you because someone told a story or something that wasn't true, and then everyone heard it, then told everyone else, and changed the story and made it worse just to make you look bad? sometimes people do that... i've had it done to me before. i was a popular girl, i was friends with everyone, but people still thought i was a slut because i was pretty and had guy friends. so even my girl "friends" would love to get in on the viciousness--because no one has anything better to do than talk about someone else, and if there's nothing to talk about, something gets invented. it's called gossip. little did anyone know i only slept with one guy in high school, while most of my friends slept with, jeez i don't even know how many. i never bothered to tell the truth, cause honestly, who gives a shyt what other people think? i just never said anything. or, maybe he was really was a player, but maybe he changed. even the player grows up and gets married one day. i think it's unfair to write this guy off as a player until she knows for sure what she's dealing with. right now, all she has is a people saying he's a player and then a bunch of us online strangers agreeing--when none of us knows a thing about him, or her, or anyone involved. in any case, this "player" might be better of without someone who can't make up her own mind without listening to other people's stories. Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Originally posted by Neptune I can`t imagine why someone would spend untold hours on the phone charming a gal . hmmmm...maybe cause he likes her? what a novel concept. Link to post Share on other sites
DonJuan` Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Look! NOBODY here can say for sure if this guy is a playa or not! I know LOTS of playa's that have changed to being able to love one, and ONLY one girl. I am guilty of that too. Playa's will tell you what you want to hear, will do whatever it takes for you to believe that they like you, they will do EVERYTHING right. And then when they get what they want from you, they will make up some lame excuse about them not being able to be with you, and they will move on to their next "target". However, What you need to do in order to stop yourself from getting hurt, is to see him as a "pleasure" rather than a "love". Meaning, don't keep your hopes up for falling in love with him and living happily ever after, take things slow, DO NOT get attached to him! Tell him that you will not sleep with him until you are going out as a couple, see his reaction. And if you DO get to a stage where u ARE going out and you DO sleep together, then at the back of your mind be prepared to get dumped (if he has NOT changed and still IS a playa) ... But keep this in mind, you must NOT rush into things with this guy! make him wait for sexual things... let him PROVE to you that he truly DOES like u and doesn't just wanna get into your pants. Go on dates, movies etc, and see if HE pays for anything... if he offers to pay, thats already a sign that he truly likes u. (I as a playa NEVER use to offer to pay for anything, actually, it was the other way around, i would ask them if THEY could pay, and they normally did) I'll say this again though... nobody HERE on these forums can tell you if this guy is planning on playing you, or if he genuinely likes you, you just need to keep an eye out and not rush into things with this guy. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
totallyconfused Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 why dont u just ask him?? be honest. ask him what are his intentions? and that u heard he's been around the block and u dont go that route. dont make it all serious, like do or die situation. laugh it off. make it sound like he's being the one whose chasing and your just like whaddya want buddy? be honest, but also how u say it is important. if he gives u some mushy gushy answer, then take a 7 day breather see if he's still chasing. but def. dont sleep with him unless its a minimum 2-3 months down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
DonJuan` Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Originally posted by totallyconfused why dont u just ask him?? be honest. ask him what are his intentions? and that u heard he's been around the block and u dont go that route. dont make it all serious, like do or die situation. laugh it off. make it sound like he's being the one whose chasing and your just like whaddya want buddy? be honest, but also how u say it is important. if he gives u some mushy gushy answer, then take a 7 day breather see if he's still chasing. No offence, but you have it all wrong.... You see, playa's are PROFESSIONALS at being able to tell you a lie to your face and you believing that he is being 100% genuine... and if she asks him all of that, he will simply give her the answer that will best play to his benefit, and then what? You still wouldn't know for sure. All you will be doing is causing him to be even MORE cautious with you, and make it even HARDER for you to "catch him out" IF he IS playing you. 7 day breather? haha... yeah, he WILL be chasing you, you are just ONE girl that he is spending his time on, u see, being a playa is like a job, u need to invest in order to get something out, right? So he will spare 5 minutes of his time a day phoning u and making you think that he is interested in you, he will write u love emails, etc, and then by the end of that week you will end up thinking "oh my g0d, he really DOES like me", while 10 other women will be thinking the exact same thing about him. Then you will meet him and think that u are 100% sure that he likes you, he will sleep with you, and the next morning you will wake up and he wont be there. He wont answer his phone when u try call him, he wont reply to emails, he wont text you, NOTHING, you will probably never hear from him again, UNLESS he still wants to you u as his sex puppet, i mean, after all, he DID "invest" in you, so why not enjoy the "spoils of war" ? That will all be true ONLY if he IS a playa.... but the only way to truly find out, is to go with the flow with him, not give in to sexual requests too easily, and just keep your guard up/block your feelings for him until you get to a point where u can see that he is 100% into you, and that can take time, and at times, a LOT of time. For now, see him as another guy that u are messing around with, DO NOT let your feelings get the better of you.... DO NOT fall for him, yet. Link to post Share on other sites
thrillseeker Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 If everyone says he's a player it may or may not be true. Why dont you dig a little. Find out who thinks hes a player? Why do they think hes a player? Has he played anyone they know. Here's what's very possible: very good looking guys have many options with women and lots of women will think good looking dudes will exercise those options aka - playas. But there are plenty of very good looking guys who just want one quality girl. You need to do some recon on this guy and find out as much as possible. Otherwise, I'd listen to your gut or you risk getting burned. guys who are players are players for only two reasons, and there are NO other reasons. 1. they are afraid of getting emotionally close 2. they havent met the right girl (the right girl always messes up the player). See Dangerous Liasons. lots of destruction in their path. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chichi Posted July 30, 2005 Author Share Posted July 30, 2005 well i just want to keep you informed of what is going on now. last friday we went out and we were at this club and he was all over me the entire nighthe bought me roses and was being really sweet....well the next day we talked on the phone for hours and were just talking about stuff.....well that night we rented a hotel room and we were chilling in there drinking and shyt. well we didnt have sex but we slept in the same bed and cuddled all night. well sunday he called me and wanted me to stay at his house so i did we ended up having sex that night. (it was great) then we fell asleep together and he held me all night.well we woke up and he took me to work and we were talking all day off and on. then on wed he called me and we were going to stay at his house again and we did we had sex all night and we had a good time. the next morning we got up and went to have breakfast and he paid for everything. by the way he call sme his PRINCESS and is always touching me in some way. well i went home and he called me a couple of hours later and he came over and we just hung out. now this friday (yesterday) he calls me and tells me that his friend from out of town is going to visit and they are going to go out together (which it is a she) but he was so worried that i was mad at him and kept asking me if i was which i wasnt. because he is not my man. well he called me last night i guess when she was around but really wasnt acting like anything was wrong and he told me that he would call me today so we could hang out i dont know what to do im going out tonight and i wanted to know if i should ignore him and act like nothing because he will be there or what do i do? why would he tell me about her if he was trying to play me he lives a hour away from me and i would have never found out that she was there so why would he tell me if he didnt like me in that way? Link to post Share on other sites
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 omg omg... where have i heard this b4??... he says the stuff he has told me he has never told anyone before omg.. girl.. guys tell the girl exactly what they want to hear so they can have u at the tip of their finger.. i heard that b4 "i have never felt like this for anyone".."i have never told this to anyone".. "you are the most special girl i have ever met".."you are the one i see myself with the rest of my life".. and blah blah blah BULL SHYTE!!! like i said they say those things because they know that a girl will fall right on their feet cuz we are week when that stuff is said to us.. we actually.. believ it..but ugh ...they r liars.. omg.. you dont know who is playing the game or if he is playing the game...sometimes the look in therir eyes might tell u the truth.. if they really look at you the way you think.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chichi Posted July 30, 2005 Author Share Posted July 30, 2005 thank you donjuan i think you made the most sene out of all this mess......i will try to play hard to get and see what happens...thankx Link to post Share on other sites
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 ok i think i was kinda with a playa.. im not sure but when i read what DonJuan` said it kind poped to me.. well im a virgin i was witht his guy for 2 months he never pushed me to do anything i wanted but he sweet talked me then after 2 months we broke up cuz shyte happened and so he started going out with this other girl the same day we broke up..they have now 4 months of being together.. the thing is she lost it to him after not even close to a month of going out.. i heard from his friend that my ex was happy with her and he was trying to "hit that" and keep it.. after this i figured ok so if i had given myself to him he would have stayed with me?? right?? so all this told me that he got tired bcuz he was trying to get sumthing from me but when he saw that he couldnt he got bored and steeped away to find another one.. im only 16 so i wasnt going to lose it this quick. fuc# that im scared to get sumthing put up in my pu#sy shyt lol...and this guy that u got a thing with he is trying to keep u since he has what he wants from you.. thats the way i see it.. Link to post Share on other sites
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