Guys: Could you ever forgive your girlfriend if they were to punch/slap you?

[thefooloftheyear]

C'mon guys....

 

Even the most fit of women could usually be readily overpowered by the average guy...A big, strong guy?? Forget it...

 

I could never see striking a woman..even if she slapped me..Justified or not..Granted, I am a big guy, but I just couldn't see that as something a guy should do..Someone my size could kill an average woman with a simple punch.....I'd probably let it go, if she was really coming after me, then Id just pick her up and lock her outside..

 

Why the hell are we talking about this, anyway?...

 

TFY

[carhill]

I'd get down on my knees and thank her for actually feeling something, even if expressed inappropriately.

 

[todreaminblue]

I taught my second oldest daughter to fight...she is twenty now and still four foot nine .......she was bullied mercilessly at school and at home online.....and a guy tried to drag her into a bush once when she was out and i thought nah thats it......no more im going to teach her......i think it was after the guy who tried to drag her into a bush and the girls who sat her down and cut her beautiful long hair out in chunks......telling her she needed a hair cut and that she wouldnt be so ugly.....i just couldnt let her leave the house without being able to fight and take a hit....

 

 

so i taught her to fight....it was that or i find the bullies and tie them to ceiling fans for a day or two...........

 

not long after a taught her her to fight it became a case of me having support meetings at school when she was bullied because she laid them flat..exerting her right to be left alone........and culminated in a police warning against a girl who was bullying her online threatening to bash her and get others to bash her.....so my daughter got an intervention...we attended one punch kills workshops and my daughter had to write an essay that had to be approved by the bully and her mother as satisfactory............ the bully who had been threatening her for weeks had to do ...nothing...and continued to bully other girls......my daughter has never laid anyone flat since.....

 

 

i don't regret teaching my daughter to fight...and my daughter accepted her consequences for excessive force.....she doesnt need to fight anymore she is out of the school system and works now where she works they say how lovely she is and they adore her.....she is actually a really gentle loving girl....she just knows how to take a hit and stand back up again and lay them flat.....

 

but even loving gentle girls can be pushed too far.....the same with men...doesnt matter how loving and gentle and good natured any guy is.....if he is bullied by a woman ....eventually he will take a swing when enough is enough...

 

and any woman who has pushed a guy who doesnt hit women to hit a woman...ought to know how to take a hit.......and that hit when it comes after a guy being pushed to the brink of his respect for women........will have force behind it.....and to call the police after systematically pushing a guy to hit you and go against their grain..... and then having the audcacity to feel you are immune to any retaliation and claim domestic violence........ought to be a chargeable offence.....its sly and cowardly....and sh...its on women who actually go through domestic violence......and have the scars to prove it......deb

[preraph]

I agree that women are in a different category here, but they can still be abusive and unpleasant and out of control. They may not seem really dangerous. But what's dangerous is them modeling for their kids and then the kids growing up either taking or receiving violence.

 

I used to throw some champagne, but that's about as far as I'd go, even though I did have some very dark thoughts.

[curiouslysearching]

I agree that women are in a different category here, but they can still be abusive and unpleasant and out of control. They may not seem really dangerous. But what's dangerous is them modeling for their kids and then the kids growing up either taking or receiving violence.

 

I used to throw some champagne, but that's about as far as I'd go, even though I did have some very dark thoughts.

 

any man that EVER touches a woman is an absolute coward and really

a POS....I also do not think a woman should hit a man either....just

walk away and calm down

[basil67]

but even loving gentle girls can be pushed too far.....the same with men...doesnt matter how loving and gentle and good natured any guy is.....if he is bullied by a woman ....eventually he will take a swing when enough is enough...

 

Whoa - nice piece of victim blaming there.

 

In a domestic situation where ongoing bad behaviour from one is causing the other to lose control, they ALWAYS have the option of leaving the relationship before lashing out.

 

I honestly hope that you don't truly believe that good men and women will take a swing at their partner when enough is enough. Good men and women walk away.

[curiouslysearching]

I agree that women are in a different category here, but they can still be abusive and unpleasant and out of control. They may not seem really dangerous. But what's dangerous is them modeling for their kids and then the kids growing up either taking or receiving violence.

 

I used to throw some champagne, but that's about as far as I'd go, even though I did have some very dark thoughts.

 

You having dark feelings is hard to envision. You seem to have a very

calm and well thought out approach to most situations.

[preraph]

You having dark feelings is hard to envision. You seem to have a very

calm and well thought out approach to most situations.

 

Awww. That was sweet. Well, I'm much older and hormonal in a completely different way now. But I was very, very dark in my 20s especially. I had a lot of fun, too, and life was very exciting to balance things out, but I was dark.

[Driver]

I slapped an ex boyfriend once. Way back in the day. I borrowed my mom's expensive SUV and drove seven hours to see him one weekend. He had a little problem with drinking and was very emotionally volatile... we would often fight during our weekends together and he often would break up with me. It was very weird. Once he got pissy over something and started binge drinking. While I took a nap, he took my mom's car. I woke up and panicked when the car was gone and he was nowhere to be found. Turns out he took the car after having had six beers, drove down the street to a local bar and pounded sake. Then drove back wasted. For two hours I was panicked waiting for him, but when he walked back in drunk reeking of sake I knew. I greeted him at the door and slapped him clear across the face. We lasted for another two years and thank God I am out of that. But that slap...Will never forget that. Completely lost control and I know now I have a tendency to lash out when angry. I would never intentionally try to injure (or punch someone in the face or gut) but man, there have been a few times when I wanted to slap my fiancé! Never would because I respect him so much and I know that would really damage things. Anyway, just a voice from the other side, coming from a crazy woman. ;-)

[stillafool]

Violence in a relationship is unacceptable, yep even when it's the dude getting beat on or even a mere slap..

 

It did happen to me with my first girlfriends when I was just 18, in her defense I was being a total ass (you know at that age) and she punched me! Wow, Ok I'll stop now honey...

 

Violence is never a solution to disputes and feuds, in the case of my then relationship with that girl yeah I have forgiven her because I was somewhat in love and didn't really have any other options around so I kept her.

 

Lesson learned, don't be an ass and I'll not punch you.

 

It doesn't matter if you were being an ass or not she should have walked away and not punched you. Why do men let women get away with this behavior? Oh that's right you didn't have any other options. Really?

[preraph]

It's human nature to have fight or flight responses in some situations, but those aren't deliberate and shouldn't happen in a normal situation, although could happen if someone grabbed you when you weren't expecting it or something like that and you reflexively struck them.

 

The few people I've known who might hit someone either had a drug problem or had buried rage from childhood. Rage from childhood can be pretty involuntary. You just suddenly get triggered some way and there it is. It's fear-based too. Thing is if you know you are like this (they are usually sorry they lost control) then it's up to you to get in anger management or therapy to change and control it.

 

Don't stay with anyone who is hitting you in anger or for control reasons or even just seeing what all they can get away with. It can too easily snowball because the other person can also go off and someone get hurt and even a play maneuver can end in an accident or knocking someone's head into a table or something. But the very worst of it is the example you set for your children.

[Shining One]

I wouldn't tolerate a girlfriend hitting me. It doesn't matter if she is capable of hurting me or not. As mentioned before, the violence usually escalates. I'd also worry about her using violence against my many expensive "toys", which she would definitely be capable of damaging.

Even the most fit of women could usually be readily overpowered by the average guy...A big, strong guy?? Forget it...

One does not need a strength or size advantage to cause damage. Josh Hilberling was significantly bigger and stronger than his wife, but she managed to push him out of a window to his death. I bet his family wishes he had been "less of a man" and decked her before she slammed into him.

I agree that women are in a different category here

I disagree. Penalties for striking someone should be based on force used, not the potential force of the person doing the striking. If a man strikes a woman with 50 lbs. of force and a woman strikes a man with 100 lbs. of force, the woman should be facing a higher penalty.

[Shanex]

It doesn't matter if you were being an ass or not she should have walked away and not punched you. Why do men let women get away with this behavior? Oh that's right you didn't have any other options. Really?

 

Not at the moment anyway. This was over 15 years ago. These days and having matured a bit I wouldn't accept such a behavior and not even verbal agression, would move away. Rather be single and happy than with someone mistreating me. A clear sign of an unhealthy relationship.