JimmyJones89 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Hi, My girlfriend went to Australia for 8 months. We are currently halfway through. Everything as been going well up until the last week or so. She has suddenly started to not message me as much. She used to message me all the time. Now it's a 4/5 a day and she's started 'sleeping' a lot. I reply but her data is switched off (she claims this is to save her data as she can't afford to get more atm) I then get a reply hours later saying she's been busy and is now going to sleep, I love you. This is very out of character so I asked her if anything was wrong and if we're ok. She promises that it's fine and she loves me and misses me blah blah. She knows I'm an anxious person and she's barely communicated with me at all this last week and im not sure if my anxiety is getting the best of me or if something is actually going on and she's too scared to tell me. I have no idea how to handle the situation, I can't exactly confront her and excuse her of doing wrong when there's no evidence. But why would she all of a sudden start acting like this? 4/5 messages a day, ignoring me hours on end and going to bed early and waking up late all with her data off. Alarm bells are ringing. Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 JJ, at the moment, there is nothing you can do about this and....questioning her and trying to talk to her is only going to be counter productive. This has occurred on this forum so many times....trust me, the best you can do is to focus on yourself and take the communication that she offers. Address this when she returns. You can't affect this from the distance. If she's preoccupied for any cause, you can't change it....you're only appearing needy and clingy trying to address it now. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 (edited) l'd say at the very least she's adjusting to being separated and slipping into single hood, or has. l've been in LDR well over 12mths now and tbh , l'm sort of expecting that to happen sooner or later bc we just can't be together enough and won't be able to for another yr or so yet. But she's also only just made a complete new move and start this very week, to the other side of her country. This was partly to be 6hrs closer to me but tbh, l'm expecting that to turn into a whole new life for her there now before we actually get together properly and her to drift away tbh. Not a nice feeling but l dunno, it's a great place where she's moved to and even if she didn't meet somebody, l think she'll just end up loving life there and that'll make our thing just look all too hard in the end. Call me negative but, just lately l've decided if she does drift of into her new world there now the way l'm thinking, then l'll try not to fight it and so be it. But l'm thinking about starting a thread here myself about it. But as it's been right through till now, we sometimes do miss a day or two yeah, one of us is busy but we do always bounce back with vengeance after and l admit l do look for that strong bounce back too. Just so as l know we're still good. Edited March 17, 2017 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimmyJones89 Posted March 17, 2017 Author Share Posted March 17, 2017 I can't just forget about it, it's driving me insane. Why won't she talk to me? If it's over why won't she just say it instead of doing this? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 why would she all of a sudden start acting like this? Something has changed. You need to confront her on the phone. Make a phone appointment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fooloflove Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 I suggest you to be honest and ask her what has happened between you and her, relationship are supposed to be honest. I wish u good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 4-5 messages a day sounds like a lot to me - how many messages did you have prior to this when things were OK for you? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 4-5 messages a day sounds like a lot to me - Him: Hi Her (1): Hi Him: How are you? Her (2): I'm fine. You? Him: OK. What are you up to? Her (3): I don't know yet. I won't be around much today. Sorry Him: When will you? How's the weather? Her (4): Sunny here today. I will be out till tonight. See ya. If that's the level of communication you can sustain long term to maintain a relationship, kudos to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 (edited) 4-5 messages a day sounds like a lot to me - how many messages did you have prior to this when things were OK for you? That's funny really , well just to me anyway l mean. Kik l think on my phone has a 4 or 5 or 600 message limit l think and then it rolls over and starts again . Mine rolls over --- everyday , sometimes twice a day. And we usually have 2 or 3hours on the phone as well. Maybe we OD ,,,,although ,, when we call my kik does last a bit longer, a day and 1/2 then maybe, at least that slows us down a little bit haha, Edited March 19, 2017 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 Him: Hi Her (1): Hi Him: How are you? Her (2): I'm fine. You? Him: OK. What are you up to? Her (3): I don't know yet. I won't be around much today. Sorry Him: When will you? How's the weather? Her (4): Sunny here today. I will be out till tonight. See ya. If that's the level of communication you can sustain long term to maintain a relationship, kudos to you. Er..I don't know anyone who texts like that, not even my 19 year old niece texts that way. One message would be more like 'Hi, how are you today? I'm off to go and do xyz with so and so until about 4pm. What are you up to? Still free for a chat tonight?' and the reply would be pretty similar - so we wish each other a good day and have a date call planned later. That's funny really , well just to me anyway l mean. Kik l think on my phone has a 4 or 5 or 600 message limit l think and then it rolls over and starts again . Mine rolls over --- everyday , sometimes twice a day. And we usually have 2 or 3hours on the phone as well. Maybe we OD ,,,,although ,, when we call my kik does last a bit longer, a day and 1/2 then maybe, at least that slows us down a little bit haha, Huh? So you have 600 messages back and forth a day and then 2-3 hours on a call each day? Do you have any time to do anything else? lol! Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 (edited) Er..I don't know anyone who texts like that, not even my 19 year old niece texts that way. One message would be more like 'Hi, how are you today? I'm off to go and do xyz with so and so until about 4pm. What are you up to? Still free for a chat tonight?' and the reply would be pretty similar - so we wish each other a good day and have a date call planned later. Huh? So you have 600 messages back and forth a day and then 2-3 hours on a call each day? Do you have any time to do anything else? lol! Yep , pretty well ,sometimes, you wanna check something we said and it's rolled over or you scroll back for miles. l work for myself and so as well as mornings and nights she usually comes to work or out and about, unless l've got a heavy day then l've leave her at home haha. She does the same and only works 10days a mth too so admittedly we do both have our own hours, that helps. PS, We usually call most days . Our longest was 13 hours l think.it was Edited March 19, 2017 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 Yep , pretty well ,sometimes, you wanna check something we said and it's rolled over or you scroll back for miles. l work for myself and so as well as mornings and nights she usually comes to work or out and about, unless l've got a heavy day then l've leave her at home haha. She does the same and only works 10days a mth too so admittedly we do both have our own hours, that helps. PS, We usually call most days . Our longest was 13 hours l think.it was Crikey!! That is so excessive! Somewhere in amongst all that I hope you respect each other enough to give each other time and space and that none of it feels obligatory. I dated a guy who would text anywhere between 80-100 times a day and wanted a 1 hour call minimum each night and it was exhausting! I ran out of time to cook, eat, do housework and generally look after myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 (edited) Ahh , haven't heard crikey for awhile. but nah sh@t no, nothing like that,just into each other, there's just always more to talk about, somehow it never ends. quite funny really we chuckle at ourselves. But yeah we take time out too whenever, or nights off, do our thing. But the funniest thing though when we do talk again we end up doing double next time anyway, We don't go to work together all the time but if we just can't shut up that day l'll take her to work to or her me. Or, now and then we'll wake up and there might just be a few little things so we;ll just go on with our day. Catch up later or that night. Ps , like we just catted then an hour or two. There's probably a few 100 messages in that alone, some long too. Few hours in the morningg ,easy 5 or 600 Edited March 19, 2017 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
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