How To Cope When I See Him 5 Days A Week?

[Outspokenwallflower]

Please be kind.

 

Shame on me, because I decided to get involved with a coworker. Things were nice and sweet at first, although after about a month he started acting funny. I confronted him about it, any qualms were squashed and we continued to casually date. However, as of late last month, he began to pull away again and it was making me nuts. I learned he was the type of guy who had a hard time with confrontation, which is probably why if he was no longer interested, he couldn't communicate that to me. However, I must admit I was being foolish too; I'd reach out to him sometimes, and there were days it'd be as though he never pulled away in the first place, and I'd take the bait and be sucked right back in. It's tough because whenever I tried to tell myself to be strong and walk away from his hot and cold ass, I couldn't; we work in the same department, have the same coworkers that we consider close friends, and my position requires us to communicate with each other somewhat regularly.

 

To bring things up to speed; last time we kissed or anything like that was about a week ago, despite him still being distant. There are also some new coworkers who have joined the team and one of them is extremely beautiful; he's shown a strong interest in her that everyone has agreed his obvious. However, when I confronted him about 2 weeks ago about if we should just be friends he stated his feelings for me had not changed (yes, I'm foolish, I know).

 

We never established a label on us, and we kept 'us'quiet because we didn't want office chatter. Only 2 extremely close coworkers who I consider true friends know what transpired between he and I. I don't even know why this whole thing has such a huge effect on me; it wasn't that long and we didn't have sex. I have however, not been with many guys in my life and never casually dated (I'm a relationship girl), so the few times I've liked a guy, its' had a serious effect on me and a relationship always came out of it (1 9 month relationship and 1 6 year).

 

So in conclusion, I've been messed up lately. My coworkers can tell I've been withdrawn lately and when the whole dept went out for drinks on Friday, I had a bit too much and had to excuse myself to step outside and cry. He is the fun, loud funny guy that everyone loves to laugh with so no matter who I'm hanging with or have lunch with, he's usually around because they gravitate towards him. In addition, he's been acting cold and ignoring me this past week which my closest coworker has noticed; it makes me feel sad and isolated from the rest of the group. We usually have group lunches and hang out after work sometimes but it's hard to want to do that when he's there acting as though i don't exist.

 

How do I get over a guy/cope with this, when I see him so often and he's friends with my friends?! Work has gone from being a fun place to be (always has been), to stressful. I feel nauseous waking up in the morning and it's killing me.

Edited March 19, 2017 by Outspokenwallflower

[harrybrown]

Ouch.

 

have you tried looking for a new job?

 

It is hard to go N/C when you see him that much.

 

Contact keeps the pain close by. Have some pride in yourself and try not to have contact with him. Keep him at a distance and find ways to move on.

 

Look for a new love interest after the pain is much less.

 

Have you tried counseling to help with the emotions?

[Outspokenwallflower]

Ouch.

 

have you tried looking for a new job?

 

It is hard to go N/C when you see him that much.

 

Contact keeps the pain close by. Have some pride in yourself and try not to have contact with him. Keep him at a distance and find ways to move on.

 

Look for a new love interest after the pain is much less.

 

Have you tried counseling to help with the emotions?

 

I got this great job by luck and I love everything about it; especially my boss. I was literally given a raise last week and she told me she's setting me up for a bigger position in the future, so leaving isn't an option for me. I wanted us to remain friends because he was actually a decent friend prior to everything, and I don't want things to be weird around friends/co-workers.

 

I may consider counseling when I find the time; meanwhile, I have a coworker who's trying to do just that for me lol. It's just tough because I'm not someone who can hide my mood easily either.