Night out with Ex's Best Friend f/u to "Night out with the Ex"

[blackendangel13]

Ok for the background on this post see "My night out with the Ex" which I have been posting under for the past few weeks.

 

I have been casually asking my ex out since our "non-date" a few weeks ago. I asked him to a movie and he was busy. He said his friend would like to go with me. Now both his friend and he have seen the movie already. This friend caused MAJOR problems in our relationship when were together. He (the friend) hated that I was with my ex because it took time away from their friendship and he was super jealous. He would constantly pick fights with me to make me look like the bad guy and this was a big problem for my relationship. When my ex wasn't around we got along great but as soon as my ex was there he wanted to wage war. In all honesty, I think he sabotaged the relationship becaus my ex was living with said friend and it just got to be too much and we broke up, not only because of the friend but I know it was part of it.

 

When I first talked to ex a few weeks ago he was already doing damage control and interrupting our conversation. On the plus side though, my ex no longer lives with this friend so he doesn't have as much control over the situation. This is why I question friends motives here. He doesn't like me. He doesn't like that me and the ex are talking. He has seen the movie already. Makes me wonder why he wants to go to the movies with me. Something is up. Whether he is going to feel me out for my ex or for himself. I am up for the challenge. I do need to learn to deal with him if I want to get back with the ex and to be honest when my ex isn't there we do have fun together. Should I wonder whats up though? This is weird. My ex really wants us to be friends and I think he pushed to set this up. What do you guys think?

[clynn]

I think if you're interseted in getting back together with you ex, you should go along on the outing with his friend.

 

Kinda strange, kinda gross, but it seems like it is something that might make your ex happy.

 

I'd just stand tall, have a happy and great time (even if you're clenching your teeth through the whole thing!) and then report all around what a great time you've had.

 

I think that if your ex sees your rift with this friend as being an issue in your relationship, then you may as well do what makes him happy.

 

For now it seems like it is an "issue" in your relationship that needs to be fixed. You know that it is simply a matter that you and he aren't really compatible personalitiies and will probably never ever ever be buddy-buddy. However, it looks like your ex and he will continue to be friends, so you may as well make nice for the time being.

 

Ha! have fun!

 

(I guess what I think is that this should not be an issue in your relationship - there are bigger fish to fry, I mean.....if this is an issue....you've got it pretty easy.....pick your battles).

 

Oh, and maybe play your cards close to your chest - don't be too open or revealing with this guy. He doesn't seem too trustworthy. Look on the occasion as a rite of passage.

[blackendangel13]

Thanks for the advice. We had a good time. We always have a good time when my ex is not around. We might even do it again next week. I think you are absolutely right that I need to suck it up. I think my ex wanted to see if we could play nice and that would definately be something to work on. If me and his friend are fighting there is no way me and my ex will get back together.

 

I had my poker face on last night. I didn't reveal anything about my intentions towards my ex. We talked about him but it was mostly in response to the friends stories and I just made little comments.

 

I am sure it made my ex extremely happy. As soon as I went on about how bummed I was that he has been canceling on me, he wrote me (regarding the movies with his friend) and said he wants us (me and friend) to be friends, and next time there is a party he wants me to go with. He said I'd really have a good time. In response, I said I'd go if I could pry myself away from my usual Saturday night date with a bowl of popcorn. He said he'd hate to break the two of us (me and popcorn) up but he would bring his friend butter and maybe the two of them would hit it off. Corny but cutesy I guess. Made me laugh.

 

Overall a good time. No one got hurt, killed, or spontaneously combusted. This will score points with the ex

[clynn]

Hey, I'm totally happy to hear it!

 

I hope that this works out well for you!

 

Sounds like a good start.

 

Aaaah , the sacrifices we make!

[blackendangel13]

And the best part....

 

My ex emailed me today and said that from what his friend said, it sounded like we had a great time. So friend is putting in good words for me.

[clynn]

You're soooo smart!

 

Yay!

 

Points for the girl!

[beeb round]

The friend wanted/wants to keep you two apart. Maybe he lusts for you, maybe he just wants to keep his buddy.

Either way the key is to break you and ex apart. Go out with him and things will go poorly, what better way to split you up?

Worse case...date rape, lesser... telling your ex lies about the date.

[blackendangel13]

Friend doesn't like me because he is afraid of losing friend. This was true. Maybe it still is. But if I want ex back, friend and I have to play nice. There is no other way. I am not going to be hanging out alone all the time with him, but this one time was to see if we could get along. A test sort of. My ex wanted to see if things would not go back to the same old. Nothing is worse than when your best friend and girlfriend hate each other.

 

Now as far as the friend screwing up things, I don't think its that serious yet. He would definately NEVER try anything with me because he knows it would get back to my ex and my ex would throw down. With the type of relationship my ex and I had, if the friend tried anything he would go down in history as a very ****ty friend indeed.Not to mention thats gross! lol. As far as him leing about me. I don't think he is that desperate. Not only that, but my ex would come to me with the lies. He knows his friend makes stuff up and I have never lied to him in my life. Since he doesn't live with friend anymore his eyes are a lot more open.

 

Friends motives may be questionable but I think the whole point of this exercise is to see if the three of us can hang out without each grabbing my ex's arms and pulling him apart. I think I succeeded nicely. Maybe the friend just realized he screwed up my ex's happiness and feels bad. Misery loves company.

[clynn]

You seem to have clarity on this situation.

 

And of course, at the end of the day, if things do work out between you and ex, it will be you and your ex as a unit...against the world!!

 

Okay, that's overly dramatic but the two of you will be a team.

 

Like you said, with him living with his best friend it made the tension all the more paramount. And in time probably the friend has seen that it is a bit silly for a friend to come in the way of a guy and his girl.

 

You seem pretty savvy to me.

[blackendangel13]

Thank you. I live alone so I have a lot of time to think on situations such as these lol. I am very proud of myself in this situation. I love my ex but if it doesn't work out this time I won't be crushed. I will be happy with the time we have spent together and look at this as the closure. Thats not to say I wouldn't jump for joy if it did happen. I am just trying to be realistic and not get my hopes up, and play the game at the same time.