Would you consider this cheating? He says I need to "trust"

[vegavega]

I have had a very volatile relationship with my fiancé of 2 years. The biggest issue has been that I have a child who lives 2 hours away from him.

 

Because my ex always stayed home and I worked — the courts awarded him 80/20. So, I only get every other weekend, but my ex is good about sharing more when I am in town. I pay child support too.

 

My fiance has a struggling business (2 hours away) and I live there most of the time with him. I work from home when I can.

 

Well, all of this traveling and financial problems led him to leave me 4 months ago. I told him I couldn’t hand over every dime I made anymore.. and while I wanted to help support him and us — I needed some money too.

 

He got mad and said he needed to take care of “him” and “his family” and he left me. He went no contact after a lot of screaming and yelling and apparently started on dating sites.

 

He was out a lot I guess. I was heartbroken and working to start my life over. I had to get apartment etc and I was left with zero money. I had given him everything I had.

 

I had a couple grand, but virtually no furniture and had to buy a car. He had controlled pretty much everything.

 

After a couple of months, I started to do ok. But I was very sad and destroyed. I missed him so much and “us”.

 

well, one day he texted me and we got back together… he said he didn’t do more than go on a couple of dates, but that was it.

 

He said he never even kissed a woman. I said the same.. I hadn’t dated.

 

well, now we are back together and public on FB. I had a woman call me and tell me she was with him and that he trashed me to her and everyone else in the world. And she started going off on me for being a psycho and hurting him so badly.

 

She said that he talked to her 2 weeks ago! And they agreed to stay friends. But that she was willing to meet me (with him) and confront him about his lying that he never was with anyone.

 

I told my fiance this and he denied it at first. Then he said he did talk to her and that she’s a psycho and that he never dated her and he REFUSED to talk on phone with me and her or meet her.

 

We fought a lot about this because I could tell he was lying to me. But, I let it go as much as I could.

 

Then — on Saturday — he got a strange call while in the car. He was short with the woman and said she was a “potential customer”.

 

I went back to look for the number on the call history and he had deleted it and I noticed he changed his cell phone passcode.

 

I flipped out and told him something was up. He refused to show me the number or give me this person’s name because he said that I would “cause problems”.

 

After a few hours he told me he would research the number to see if this was the same woman he thought it was. He said it was ….becuase it was Her number but one digit off … and she was probably trying to make me jealous.

 

He then said that I need to drop it and he would take care of it. I said I want to hear him talk to her and tell her about me and that she she never call again.

 

he said no. He would have his best friend call her and tell her to leave him and me alone — that he did’t think it was a good idea to even speak to her.

 

He is with me all the time. I don’t think he’s cheating on me. He seems to be legit with me — but I honestly feel so awful.

 

When we fought the other night he said “do you think going back to you and your kid drama an ex/traveling was EASY… he said I came back because I want to be with you — If this woman was “so amazing” I would be with HER”.

 

I feel really scared and worried. I am constantly wondering if he is talking to her while I am at work — etc. I can’t seem to calm my brain.

 

I do not want to lose him again…. but now I am wondering if he is with me because of my income and the fact that I am helping him $$$$.

 

Right now, I am paying for all meals and I even bought 200 dollars worth of fertilizer for his yard last weekend

 

Then on sunday he found a gift card to my favorite store on the ground and HE went to that store and bought himself 50 dollars worth of clothes!


I thought wow….

 

So in the end, I am wondering if you could tell me if I am insane here?