KBob Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 Back on Tinder woot woot! I have almost zero desire to be back on there so I'm basically spending as little time as possible on it, aka my swiping right method is making it rain and see what pops up. So I match up with a cute woman who seems to have a lot in common, but is a single mom. We talk and are seeming to hit it off; date is set for next Monday. This is an area I haven't breached into yet, I generally wasn't ready to be involved in a relationship that would involve a child's upbringing, but as right now with my plans of moving away within a year, the chances of anything serious developing are slim. She is aware of this. So I'm curious to hear some experiences with dating single moms, and some perspective from women who have dated as single moms. I'm kind of thinking it will take some time for the subject to be broached about bringing me into the kid's life (I've heard that's the responsible thing to do as a parent), but again I'm not sure what to expect as a general timeline. Or how much time a single parent can often spend with someone they're dating (she has full custody of one boy).
smackie9 Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 Why not just set all that aside, and just enjoy her company, have sex, never meet the kid, etc. She can get a babysitter and go out and have a good time...it doesn't have to turn into something crazy like serious stepdad relationship. Relax. Might last a week or a couple of months...everyone had a good time. 7
OatsAndHall Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 1. Be prepared for there to be some serious time constraints as she has a child. You will need to flexible with your time if you want to see her as there are specific times when she will be available. In essence, her schedule dictates your dating schedule. 2. I would strongly suggest that you move slowly with respect to the child and I would hope that she feels the same way. I dated a woman with two little ones and she started to push me into their lives pretty quickly. This was a red flag for me. She really didn't know me and bringing me into her kids lives after a few weeks of dating was a bad idea. 3. Beware: where there's a single mom, there's a dad. You could be looking at ex drama if you're not cautious. My ex wife had children and we moved very slowly when it came to them. I had only spent a few hours around the kids before her ex was threatening me. 2
Dis Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 "Making it rain" Hahaha You're a funny guy I wouldnt look at it like you're dating a single mom for the first few dates other than scheduling dates which will probably be tough for her Get to know her...who knows, it might not even move past the first date Get to know her. I'm sure she wants you to think of her as much more than a single mom Just relax and have fun! 3
Author KBob Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 Believe me, I'm not worrying about it or have some sort of plan about it. My plan is simply to get to know her. This is more of a curiosity thing. As I get deeper into my 30's dating women with children will be more of a common occurrence, so I figured what better chance to find out some info than starting to date a woman with children! 1
coolheadal Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 Back on Tinder woot woot! I have almost zero desire to be back on there so I'm basically spending as little time as possible on it, aka my swiping right method is making it rain and see what pops up. So I match up with a cute woman who seems to have a lot in common, but is a single mom. We talk and are seeming to hit it off; date is set for next Monday. This is an area I haven't breached into yet, I generally wasn't ready to be involved in a relationship that would involve a child's upbringing, but as right now with my plans of moving away within a year, the chances of anything serious developing are slim. She is aware of this. So I'm curious to hear some experiences with dating single moms, and some perspective from women who have dated as single moms. I'm kind of thinking it will take some time for the subject to be broached about bringing me into the kid's life (I've heard that's the responsible thing to do as a parent), but again I'm not sure what to expect as a general timeline. Or how much time a single parent can often spend with someone they're dating (she has full custody of one boy). You will always be third on the list. If everything works out you'll be a step-dad. I've with single moms, the're caring, loving and nurturing behavior makes for a better love experience than with a woman that not a single mom yet. Also do you want to have your own kids or even with her. Some of these women don't want to have more kids. So best to get that out on the table. Well think of it as a special treat to have a woman like this in your life. 1
viatori patuit Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 I am currently dating a single mom. It has been an experience to say the least. I guess i could list it out for you: Pros: 1. They are absolutely dynamite at being affectionate. 2. They are usually extremely patient. 3. They can be happy with things that are less material - time out alone with you will be a treat unto itself. Cons: 1. Ex's suck. always - dads like to be dads. Not their issue as they should be, but as you become closer to her you will have to deal with him. PS - he never goes away. 2. Kids always come first. Always. it is easy often to deal with, but when it isn't - tough. On the whole, it is a great way to see how you do with kids prior to having them (if you want them). 2
OatsAndHall Posted March 27, 2017 Posted March 27, 2017 I will reiterate the "ex-drama" point. The kids' father might be a good guy that will be an adult about it. Might ex-wife's ex was not; he was/is an unstable a-- that caused a ton of problems within the relationship. But, I dated another woman with kids for awhile and their father was a great guy about all of it. He was suspicious at first but I treated the girls well, I just behaved like a guy that was dating their mom and nothing more. I didn't try to play daddy with them and there were not p-ssing matches over it. It just turned out she was crazy. I dated another woman with a young son who was a great gal but she called it off after about a month. She stated that she realized wasn't ready to start dating again because she felt like there was something between us but wasn't prepared to bring me into her son's life. This might sound bad, but you can tell a lot about a woman by how they go about bringing you into their kids' lives and how they split up their time between you and their children. The whacko I dated pushed the girls on my early and I wasn't comfortable with it. I let her know that and she backed off a little bit. She was also leaving the kids at home with her mother pretty continually and setting up dates with me. She worked in the town where I lived but she lived an hour away and would set up dates on the week nights and leave the kids at home with her mother. She would get home an hour after they were in bed. HUGE red-flag for me.
Author KBob Posted March 27, 2017 Author Posted March 27, 2017 Thanks for all of the responses and info, everyone. I cancelled the date with her so I'll have to apply all of it to the next one. In the few days before the date she texted me three of them, me once to return a message after I had fallen asleep the night before. First day the conversation was great, but in the days after (even though she was initiating) the texts were bland and humorless. Then it devolved into her asking me personal questions then getting short with me when I would do the same. So needless to say it wasn't going anywhere.
b3st0fth3w0rst Posted March 28, 2017 Posted March 28, 2017 I am currently dating a single mom. It has been an experience to say the least. I guess i could list it out for you: Pros: 1. They are absolutely dynamite at being affectionate. 2. They are usually extremely patient. 3. They can be happy with things that are less material - time out alone with you will be a treat unto itself. Cons: 1. Ex's suck. always - dads like to be dads. Not their issue as they should be, but as you become closer to her you will have to deal with him. PS - he never goes away. 2. Kids always come first. Always. it is easy often to deal with, but when it isn't - tough. On the whole, it is a great way to see how you do with kids prior to having them (if you want them). I'm also dating a single mom. About a year now. I agree 100% with the pros above. I myself dont have issues with the father, so i can't attest to that. Her child/children will always come first (and should), never you. With that said, be prepared for cancelled/interrupted plans. comes with the territory. And as stated before...can sometimes be tough. 1
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