protonelectron Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 So I met this girl through a friend at the gym I workout at. I went with my friend one day to this open gymnast gym and she showed up as well and we ended up talking for a while. We ran into each other the same week and she asked if i was going to the open gym and I said yeah and we talked a bit more. We ended up meeting at the open gym that weekend and seemed to have a good time together. Even right when she got there she even tried to explain to me a mistake she made in her speaking that didn't make any sense, when we last spoke at the gym. I kinda thought that if she was trying to explain herself to me that it must have meant she had some interest in me. Anyways we had hung out and seemed to have a pretty good time. Near the end I said she should come slack lining sometime with me and my friend and she said yeah, text me. Then I said, "sure, but i don't have your number". Then she said "do you want it?" Of course I said yes. So I got her number and ended up going out of town for a week. I texted her once and she responded and we talked a bit. When I got back I asked her if she would want to go climbing with me and she said "yeah i'd love too". We went and seemed to have a great time together. I paid for it, but at the end she gave me money for it, I tried to deny twice, but she insisted so I took it. She then said she was thinking she would join. I asked her if she would wanna do it again and she said yeah. Here is my problem. Everytime, I always have to initiate a text and she has never initiated a text with me once. I don't really get it and am just thinking maybe she just said yes to go out with me to be nice or just friends. I don't really know. I know she comes from a large jewish family and don't really know if girls like this are more passive. I have been with passive girls before but not this much. Just wondering if I should be doing all the initiating here and keep pushing, but I don't want to be too pushy if she isn't interested. Any input? Should I ask her to do something again or wait to see if she just texts me? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocketstar Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Try to invite her too your room (maybe through dinner at your home, or to watch a movie at your home, think of something that you two have in common that you can invite her over). See her reaction. If she come in, then based on her reaction (is she is as passive as you say, she will be fairly nervous) and you may pursue further, but don't rush. If she find an excuse to not to, then there is a chance that (so far) she only think of you as a good friend. Because gym, text, chat, and mountain climbing are.... frankly things that friends do. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 You need to make your intentions clear. Tell her you are interested and would like to take her out on a date. Otherwise, she will probably just assume you are friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author protonelectron Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 Try to invite her too your room (maybe through dinner at your home, or to watch a movie at your home, think of something that you two have in common that you can invite her over). See her reaction. If she come in, then based on her reaction (is she is as passive as you say, she will be fairly nervous) and you may pursue further, but don't rush. If she find an excuse to not to, then there is a chance that (so far) she only think of you as a good friend. Because gym, text, chat, and mountain climbing are.... frankly things that friends do. Should I ask her in person or over text? Only thing is she goes to the gym that I workout at and I don't want to create an awkward situation, but i guess I could deal with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author protonelectron Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 You need to make your intentions clear. Tell her you are interested and would like to take her out on a date. Otherwise, she will probably just assume you are friends. So do I have to specifically say "Date" or can I just ask her to lunch or dinner and that would be an assumed date? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Look, there's plenty of women who let the guy take the lead, so take the lead. I don't see how you can read it as disinterest if she's going out with you. But it does say she wants the guy to lead, so if you can't do that, she will lose interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocketstar Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Should I ask her in person or over text? Only thing is she goes to the gym that I workout at and I don't want to create an awkward situation, but i guess I could deal with it. In person will be better, but if you have opportunity over text, then go for it. Keep it nature. For example talking about food, then go with "I'm really good at making lasagna. Want to come over to my place this Saturday?" Find a topic that you have discussed about before. A film that you both liked ("I want to rewatch ABC again, do you want to come over this weekend?"). Or maybe about how good you are with guitar. Or how's funny your cat, or dog is when you scratch their belly If she interested in you, she should jump in the chance even if the excuse feel quite odd. If not then she still hasn't trusted you fully yet, and you still need to work on that Link to post Share on other sites
Author protonelectron Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 So i basically asked her out on a real date and her exact response was. "Hey, truth is I have plans this weekend so maybe we could try for later on..." I don't even know how to respond to this. Is this just a nice let down or should I suggest an exact other time? Thanks everyone Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 say she is not interested in you as more than a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocketstar Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 (edited) So i basically asked her out on a real date and her exact response was. "Hey, truth is I have plans this weekend so maybe we could try for later on..." I don't even know how to respond to this. Is this just a nice let down or should I suggest an exact other time? Thanks everyone It sounds like an honest response (IMO). Maybe check your calendar again seeing what other day you have. If you are shrewd enough, try to get her to initiate and suggest the day, so you don't sound too desperate. For example, something like " I will be free on Monday, Friday, Sunday next week, just give me a call later over when you will be free". But don't use my words, personalize it to sound nature for you too (for example, if you are a bit of a friendly joker, can add "don't make me wait too long for the response, or it gonna be all booked *smile face* " or something). If you have gone that far, and she still can't suggest a day. Then yeah, sorry, man, you are friend-zoned. But at least you got it clear Edited March 22, 2017 by Pocketstar Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 No way to know if it's real or not, so write back one more time saying "When is good for you?" and that will force her to either give a date or admit she's not interested. And then you can stop worrying about it and know. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author protonelectron Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 In person will be better, but if you have opportunity over text, then go for it. Keep it nature. For example talking about food, then go with "I'm really good at making lasagna. Want to come over to my place this Saturday?" Find a topic that you have discussed about before. A film that you both liked ("I want to rewatch ABC again, do you want to come over this weekend?"). Or maybe about how good you are with guitar. Or how's funny your cat, or dog is when you scratch their belly If she interested in you, she should jump in the chance even if the excuse feel quite odd. If not then she still hasn't trusted you fully yet, and you still need to work on that Yeah this is what I did the second time I said I'm checking out this climbing gym and asked if she wanted to tag along. And she said she'd love to so that worked well that time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author protonelectron Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 So I just said. "No problem, we can set up a time next week maybe. Be safe." Then deleted thread and contact number so I won't be temped to say anything else dumb. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 I think unfortunately, you may as well lose her number. If she said "maybe." That doesn't exactly exude enthusiasm. Link to post Share on other sites
Author protonelectron Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 I think unfortunately, you may as well lose her number. If she said "maybe." That doesn't exactly exude enthusiasm. Yeah that's just what I was thinking 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rushed Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 So I just said. "No problem, we can set up a time next week maybe. Be safe." Then deleted thread and contact number so I won't be temped to say anything else dumb. Wait, what? Why did you delete her contact number? It sounded like she was really interested in you. She spoke to you, gave you her number, went out with you, had a good time. I rarely text first in the beginning. I like waiting for the guy to text me and to ask me out and make plans. I like being wooed. If I don't hear from a guy I just assume he's not interested anymore and move on. How are you going to contact her again to make plans? Or were you just going to see if she texts you first? Link to post Share on other sites
Author protonelectron Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 (edited) Wait, what? Why did you delete her contact number? It sounded like she was really interested in you. She spoke to you, gave you her number, went out with you, had a good time. I rarely text first in the beginning. I like waiting for the guy to text me and to ask me out and make plans. I like being wooed. If I don't hear from a guy I just assume he's not interested anymore and move on. How are you going to contact her again to make plans? Or were you just going to see if she texts you first? I was just going to see if she texts me first. I don't know the wording just really threw me off, because when I asked her to go rock climbing before she was like "Yeah i'd love too". We went and I thought things felt really well, she even said she was gonna try and get a membership so she could come more. But just the fact that I always have to initiate everything makes me feel like shes not interested. She is from a big jewish family that is pretty religious so and I've never dated been with a girl like that before, so I'm just a little confused. I don't know if that has anything to do with how she was raised or not. Edited March 23, 2017 by protonelectron additional content Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts