Men's perception of women's appearance

[stillafool]

Go understated of you want to find a quality man, in fact, don't even wear make up. Men may dream of the model but irl won't go near her with a ten foot pole. Not for a serious relationship.

 

Yeah, tell that to Tom Brady. Those who can do.

[Els]

I think guys just like what they individually like. It's cute when they try to sound like the authority on women's clothing and all that... but really, dudes, just stop.

 

I once had a top that, when paired with leggings, garnered me more compliments (and a few cold approaches) than any other top I have. The SO thinks the top looks bad, though. It's not see-through or low-cut or anything, it just has bright colors and is a bit floaty. He preferred some of my other tops or dresses. I got really confused for a while, until I realized that there's no right or wrong. It's just about individual preferences.

 

I will say though that it's completely distasteful for your ex to just come out with negative comments out of the blue like that, sounds rather entitled. In my case I specifically asked for my guy's opinion, so it's okay for him to be honest and say whatever comes to mind.

Edited March 23, 2017 by Elswyth

[No_Go]

Thanks for responding. Did he at least give you compliments when you dressed the way he liked or wore makeup that was obvious to him?

 

Yeah, he'd give me quite a lot of compliments when we were together, that's why his recent comments were a bit out of the blue for me.

 

I agree with your answer in another post that you can't be too casual at work in order to be taken seriously. But I thought your ex comment was directed toward your looks when you guys went out?

 

I don't happen to have a specific night-out type of attire. But to keep in mind our nights out were either some performance after work, or going for dinner (I don't do clubbing etc). So say if I was wearing a dress and a blazer to work, I'd just modify by taking off the blazer and putting higher heels and some jewelry. Maybe this repurposing of work clothes he considered casual/unattractive?

 

I'm thinking I also don't generally wear bright colors or patterns (I stay mostly in the black, white, grey, blue, dark red color scheme), maybe that's considered boring for date settings?

[No_Go]

Yeah. Maybe he just likes to complain and put you down. To build himself up.

 

Haha, that's for sure (he'd been soooo over the top with complaints how I f*cked up the RL and he was 100% innocent hahaha), but I'm trying to extract information that can be useful from his feedback...

[NTV]

The useful things you can take from his comments are probably closer to: 'now I'm with a chick that dresses up all the time. And talks about how she dresses all the time. I haven't been with her long enough to realize how truly annoying and shallow that is.'

 

... In my opinion, anyway. When he comes crawling back.... Just remember he tried to plug something into your head to create self doubt.

[carnelian]

I always feel that the women who need makeup do not use it and the women who do not need it because they are naturally beautiful, do use it. My GFs did not use makeup and I was fine with that.

[harrybrown]

i prefer less makeup, but that is just me.

 

But then if you talk about natural makeup, maybe I could not even tell the difference.

 

Just be yourself. Enjoy your time and good luck to you.

[anduina]

Some very confusing statements from my ex that left me a little baffled. He recently told me I 'let go' with him because I stopped wearing makeup on our nights out.

 

Thing is - I never did I like my make up (almost like a hobby) and wear it even when staying at home the whole day. I'm talking foundation, blush, brow gel, eyeliner, mascara & lip product daily, occasionally some extras. However - I believe I'm pretty good & subtle with it and use natural colors most of the time, so it is not 'in your face' from an airplane.

 

I'm just wondering what guys 'see' - just red lipstick & blue eyeshadows ?

 

Same with clothing - I wear skirts/dress pants + fitted tops or knee-length dresses + low/mid heels, and he's saying this looked casual to him. Asking what he liked: he's pointing out chicks in yoga pants & sport tops That's less casual, really?? For me this is strictly gym clothing...

 

I'm just wondering is this a man/woman difference in perception, cultural thing (I'm European), or he's an outliar that has weird tastes. I'm planning to start dating very soon, so for me it is interesting to hear what men like.

This is called controlling behaviour.

[Fair]

Yeah, tell that to Tom Brady. Those who can do.

 

Yeah, well, money is a big confidence booster. The average Joe tends to be too insecure.

[Chilli]

Yeah, it is funny. Admittedly me l know what l like when l see it but if she asks me ahhh, It's like, that, that right there, whatever that is,l like it.