Fwb

[ALG310]

I have a friend, best friend actually who has brought me through a difficult divorce and I helped her as she was getting out of an abusive long term relationship, we developed romantic feelings for each other to the point we fell in love, since then it has been a push pull between us, now we are both single, we went out together after agreeing to be friends with benefits, and during the night I looked over and she was with another man then eyed me and said "I really dig him" as she was hugging and kissing him, well I got extremely jealous and left in a huff, and she took him home, the next day we discussed it and made up and had a nice day together that ended with more benefits, she is going on a date with him soon saying he really isn't her type, my question is, was my jealousy justified at all, was it right for her to put it in my face or should I just walk away from the whole friendship

[Zahara]

It wasn't kind of her to do that infront of you but she has every right to date other men.

 

Since you are emotional about her, FWB will not work.

 

You should walk away from this.

[Try]

we went out together after agreeing to be friends with benefits, and during the night I looked over and she was with another man then eyed me and said "I really dig him" as she was hugging and kissing him, well I got extremely jealous and left in a huff, and she took him home

Regardless of if you are in an exclusive relationship or not, when she goes out with you she is suppose to be with you. Her digging on the other man (OM), hugging and kissing him, with you there was disrespectful of you, and even a little cruel since she knows that you have developed feeling for her. Her going home with him and scheduling a date with him is just turning the knife. I guarantee that when she is out with the OM, she will not be disrespecting him by digging, hugging, kissing and going home with another guy. She is toxic to your self worth. Time to move on. I am guessing that there is more to her divorce than she is telling you or that you are telling us.

 

we fell in love

Based on how she treated you when she was with the OM, you fell in love but she did not.

[Space Ritual]

I have a friend, best friend actually who has brought me through a difficult divorce and I helped her as she was getting out of an abusive long term relationship, we developed romantic feelings for each other to the point we fell in love, since then it has been a push pull between us, now we are both single, we went out together after agreeing to be friends with benefits, and during the night I looked over and she was with another man then eyed me and said "I really dig him" as she was hugging and kissing him, well I got extremely jealous and left in a huff, and she took him home, the next day we discussed it and made up and had a nice day together that ended with more benefits, she is going on a date with him soon saying he really isn't her type, my question is, was my jealousy justified at all, was it right for her to put it in my face or should I just walk away from the whole friendship

 

Then why is she going on a date with him if he isn't her type?

 

The second she said "I really dig him" I'd have leaned over and said to this guy:

 

"She can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch , so have fun kissing her, you'll be kissing me too", and walked away.

 

Wake up man, you are nothing but a rebound and a piece of ass for her. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Plus now she is dating guys so effectively you for all intents and purposes The Other Man. Do you want to spend the next few months as a fallback plan that she comes and bangs when she feels like it and then treats you like you don't exist or parades other guys in front of you with?

 

Have some self respect and get away from her. Nothing good will come of this.

[Try]

It wasn't kind of her to do that infront of you but she has every right to date other men.

I agree that she has every right to date other men, but not when she is out with the OP. She knows that he fell in love with her, and got off rubbing it in his face with the other man.

[Zahara]

I agree that she has every right to date other men, but not when she is out with the OP. She knows that he fell in love with her, and got off rubbing it in his face with the other man.

 

I did say it was unkind of her to do that infront of him meaning it's not something one should do. Outside of him, she can do whatever she wants.

[RecentChange]

Generally a "FWB" is an ongoing thing where you have casual sex together, but are NOT in a romantic or committed relationship.

 

For a situation like this to work, usually both parties need to be able to compartmentalize. Feelings in one box, sex in the other - and kept apart so they do not mix.

 

Romance and jealously do not mix well with a "FWB".

 

When I had FWBs we would talk about other people we were pursuing or sleeping with. It was understood that we were not exclusive or a couple.

 

I think what you have going is too complicated. Your feelings are too in for this to work.

 

Why aren't you two considering being a couple instead of FWB?

[ALG310]

Thank you, I had a 25 year marriage, and my EX finally admitted to the affair she was having ( in my mind I knew what my heart would and could not accept ) my bf the "one" I fell in love with have known each other since we were 5 years old and our lives kept bumping into each other, never completley out of touch our mothers were best friends, but our lives took different paths, she is the one who picked me up out of my complete devestation, I know she is not a mean or vindictive person or evil our lives collided at the same time we were both going through the process of breaking up LTR, LOUSY TIMING! I'm new at "dating" and never had a FWB so I really didn't know the protocol on behavior, thank you all for the insight.

[Darren Steez]

You didn't help her out of anything. Most likely she latched onto you as a distraction from her relationship, some people call it an exit affair..

 

but..

 

a bit confused, you say you're fwb but then said you fell in love

 

but she's literally seducing guys in front of you, going home and sleeping with them, then sleeping with you?

 

Now she's going out with him again but she doesn't really like him but she's going out with him anyway but she's in love with you?

 

A bit confusing no?

 

Personally I'd stay away from her, unless she's ok with you hooking up with guys/girls as well.

[smackie9]

FWB....is a relationship with fuzzy borders. When you get into something like this, there needs to be rules, set expectations, boundaries. You both obviously have not communicated anything about it....just started with assumptions......fail.

 

Yes you should walk because you can see for your self what her expectations are about this whole thing. In fact I don't think she knows what FWB is. You are more of a F buddy/ booty call.

[road]

Walk away and go NC on her.

 

 

She will never want the same type of relationship with you

that you want with her.

 

 

And, why is she going out with the OM again that she does not

really like?

 

 

Because the sex is that good with him for her.

[ALG310]

My point exactly,we get close, share all our feelings, i say I love you, and the response is I love you more, more than you know, but every time we get close she pulls away

[smackie9]

Well don't you think that would be an indication she doesn't want the same thing? That's why she rubs the other dude in your face....to make it CLEAR that she has no intention of having a serious relationship with you. Case closed.

[KBob]

Well don't you think that would be an indication she doesn't want the same thing? That's why she rubs the other dude in your face....to make it CLEAR that she has no intention of having a serious relationship with you. Case closed.

 

I think it goes beyond that into the zone of malice.

 

She's helped you out in hard times, but now it's time to kick her to the curb. Sure she's a FWB, but you said best friends in the beginning, and best friends don't do that kind of thing to best friends.