Echo74 Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I'm in a group where most of the members are around 45 or older. I've enjoyed the events and have met many people so far. Although I wouldn't mind dating someone if I was attracted to him, I'm uncomfortable when someone I'm not attracted to asks me out. Well I've become pretty friendly with a member whom I enjoy speaking with but have no interest other than that. He just asked me out and I declined since I didn't care for the event. He mentioned something about us dating but that he's probably too old for me. I do prefer guys who are up to 2 years older or up to 5 years younger. Everyone thinks I'm 10-15 years younger than my actual age (I luckily have good genetics). Plus I'm in no way attracted to him. This is not the first time I've been asked out by a group member, but the others were messages which were so much easier to decline and explain that I'm more comfortable in a group setting. This guy called me and I cannot say the same thing to this particular gentleman because I've told him in our conversations that I wouldn't mind dating again. I've also told him that I'm really picky and know immediately if I'm attracted or not. Any suggestions on how best to respond since I do like him as a friend. I'm a chicken when it comes to these things! Link to post Share on other sites
telemakus Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I'm in a group where most of the members are around 45 or older. I've enjoyed the events and have met many people so far. Although I wouldn't mind dating someone if I was attracted to him, I'm uncomfortable when someone I'm not attracted to asks me out. Well I've become pretty friendly with a member whom I enjoy speaking with but have no interest other than that. He just asked me out and I declined since I didn't care for the event. He mentioned something about us dating but that he's probably too old for me. I do prefer guys who are up to 2 years older or up to 5 years younger. Everyone thinks I'm 10-15 years younger than my actual age (I luckily have good genetics). Plus I'm in no way attracted to him. This is not the first time I've been asked out by a group member, but the others were messages which were so much easier to decline and explain that I'm more comfortable in a group setting. This guy called me and I cannot say the same thing to this particular gentleman because I've told him in our conversations that I wouldn't mind dating again. I've also told him that I'm really picky and know immediately if I'm attracted or not. Any suggestions on how best to respond since I do like him as a friend. I'm a chicken when it comes to these things! Just tell him the truth. We can tell when you're trying to sugar the pill and it's worse than if you were just being honest. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 That's always the problem with these groups. People act like just because you're voluntarily there, that you ought to go out with anyone. I left a group about 10 years ago because the married guys kept trying to more or less coerce the single women to warm up to a guy with special needs who was no doubt a 40 year old virgin. Like them, we were all happy to go bowling as a group, but trying to pimp us out was a dealbreaker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bantosm Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 If I'm not attracted to someone and they are interested in me, I let them know how I feel immediately. It's best to end it before starts up or gets going on mixed signals. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 If I'm not attracted to someone and they are interested in me, I let them know how I feel immediately. It's best to end it before starts up or gets going on mixed signals. I love it when a girl does this. No fuss, no muss, no hopes, no wasted time. Sure, I'd prefer a yes but I appreciate a direct rejection. I think most guys do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 As someone who's received mixed signals only to get a'no' on multiple occasions, its easier just to know the truth straight away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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