Does anyone else have trouble attracting their "type"?

[Chilli]

Bad boy??? No way. I like quiet, shy men. Bookish types. I don't know why what I described sounds bad boy? Hmm. I also don't know why people stereotype personality so much on dress, but I guess it's in our nature sometimes

 

 

Basil, is being alone really so bad?

 

You guys really think I should have went out and had this man I'm not attracted to buy me dinner, sit through an awkward conversation, and then have to make an excuse of how I had a nice night but can't see him again???

 

 

Exactly .

And this is why l'm always dumbfounded at people just dating dating dating, l mean wtf, do they enjoy going through that?

Is their picker so off that they go out with just anyone?

l never get it.

I'd get girls saying come for coffee come for coffee , but l mean wtf for, l don't wanna go through that bullship.

A lot of chicks like me straight off that's not the problem, but when l was single,3yrs, l only met 1/2 a dozen girls and in all honesty, l only bothered with them on an off chance there could be something but really l was pretty sure none of them were right.

Guess they were the best of a bad bunch you could say.

l could have met dozens though, more, if l tried but l mean wth is the point ?

 

l much rather bide my time and wait for my one in a million.

Took 3yrs and a lot of loneliness but, it was worth it.

Had l had been wasting my time with dead ends though , l would've missed the chance with her.

Edited March 26, 2017 by Chilli

[Chilli]

But do people really even specify an eye color, was that for real or a joke ?

People must think a date site's a super market and they just pick out what they want, just like that ?

Maybe if your Marylin Monroe yeah but hey, a one in 7 billion, ahhh and they wouldn't need to be on a date site.

 

Sure, if l could've tailor ordered a new girl she might be this and that and a blue eyed blonde with a body to die for and tanned skin but you know what ,my gf is cute little brown eyed Italian with jet black hair and milk white skin, the only black haired gf l've ever had , yet she turns me on to hell and there's so much about her l adore that l'd bore you all to tears with the details.

 

Anything can happen guys but only if you leave things open, but at the same time go with your gut, don't waste time on bs.

Edited March 26, 2017 by Chilli

[curiouslysearching]

But do people really even specify an eye color, was that for real or a joke ?

People must think a date site's a super market and they just pick out what they want, just like that ?

Maybe if your Marylin Monroe yeah but hey, a one in 7 billion, ahhh and they wouldn't need to be on a date site.

 

Sure, if l could've tailor ordered a new girl she might be this and that and a blue eyed blonde with a body to die for and tanned skin but you know what ,my gf is cute little brown eyed Italian with jet black hair and milk white skin, the only black haired gf l've ever had , yet she turns me on to hell and there's so much about her l adore that l'd bore you all to tears with the details.

 

Anything can happen guys but only if you leave things open, but at the same time go with your gut, don't waste time on bs.

 

At some point, you gotta PUT IN THE TIME with someone to see if they are a fit or not. An initial meeting is sometimes difficult to gauge due to not being comfortable or somewhat nervous...

[Shining One]

But do people really even specify an eye color, was that for real or a joke ?

It's for real. If no one cared about eye color, it would not be a searchable and filterable data field on OLD sites.

[central]

I find a good range of women physically attractive, but of those, only a few percent at best are appealing in terms of personality, intellect, values and attitudes, and interests.

 

I'm not sure what to suggest, OP. With a very limited physical attraction type, finding someone with that plus the other traits is very restrictive. All you can do is keep looking, and hope for the best. And enjoy being single with the freedom that provides, while looking.

[central]

It's for real. If no one cared about eye color, it would not be a searchable and filterable data field on OLD sites.

 

True, to an extent. But, it's an easy filter that few people really care about or actually use. It is MUCH harder to categorize facial characteristics and body type specifics into searchable parameters, which is why that is not done. It might work if you could upload a picture of your ideal type, and then have a search algorithm that could find members who look similar. Maybe the CIA has the resources to program something like that, but commercial sites do not.

[Ieris]

I have liked different types at different ages and I would say I was pretty specific about what I wanted but when I met someone the complete opposite who gave me butterflies, the whole checklist goes out the window

[Chilli]

Funny. lf we split up, don't think l could live without black hair anymore now.

Yet l've always had blondes or light brownish.

[Herbalist]

There are certain things I don't like, but it's not personal, it's just my own associations. I would never date a guy with blue eyes, for example. I know that it's irrational, but my brain doesn't care. I tend to strongly prefer the opposite, in a way, very dark brown eyes. And it's all mostly because my father was very demented and abusive and had these icy, predatory blue eyes, so hollow yet intense, didn't even look human half the time. So again I just really don't like it. Not that I would be mean to someone for having blue eyes, but I just would never date them. So I think sometimes strong preferences can be about more than being fickle. Maybe sometimes being very fickle can be a form of avoidance unto itself.

[Lilyana76]

I always find men with black hair and blue eyes very attractive... I've never dated one though. Most of the men I find interest in have dark hair and big brown puppy eyes...

 

I tend to lean towards men with a seemingly bad boy side. Musicians, bikers, rowdy types. But always end up being big ole teddy bears. I recently had a date with a professional type, didn't know he played in a band until our first date. So, it seems I still find my usual type, even when I think they aren't.

[Dark Horse]

Yeah i'm the same way, i'm into tall and beautiful beach blondes but they just don't seem to like me. I don't understand, I am beautiful and absolute perfection. I sit on my couch and jack off to porn all day, and I never workout, and never put myself out there but i'm so amazingly awesome, any girl would be lucky to be in a relationship with me.

[LotusAvx]

I have a very very specific type too..like yours, unconventionally handsome. I can't describe it, but can pin point it when I see it. I don't know if my first long term relationship shaped me liking that type or what...

Anyways, I find it very hard to find my specific type on internet dating. I think it's because a lot of pictures are deceiving.

[Leigh 87]

True chemistry precedes any physical " type ".

 

Off the wall chemistry IS NOT, much to my surprise, correlated to physical attributes.

 

It is a vibe. The way you click. The way they smile, their voice and the personality they emulate verbally and non verbally. Not to mention pheromones.

 

Do an experiment if you like; ditch ANY pre conceived ideas as to what you normally seek out in men. Then talk to ANY man and be open to ANY man providing you have chemistry.

 

You may be surprised at how a true click can occue between people who are not each others usual types.

 

I have no type. I have fallen for scrawny men, fat men, bald men, nerdy men.....you catch my drift.

 

If you open yourself up to anyone and yet STILL only feel the lust and sparks for the wrong men.... THEN you definitely need to figure out how to attract the men you want.

[Titanll]

What is your type Cookies? If you can put it into words, that is. If you already posted this, I apologize, I'm just not reading ever post in this thread.

[The_Thall_Man]

I agree completely with the OP: Attraction is a weird, specific thing. Lately, I've run into a number of women that I know there's probably not anything wrong with them, but they're just not my type.

 

There's a raw, earthy type of woman that hits on me like this that, while I know isn't necessarily unattractive to many, just might as well be a guy to me (and I'm as straight as they come )... whereas the slightly off-the-cuff, but feminine girl next door like this is a complete shoe in... but I never can make that connection. It's frustrating as hell.

 

The problem, OP, is how exactly do you put this out there? You can try and describe it. You can tell your friends. It's just a really unwieldy thing. I've never been able to master it. It's a waiting game, I guess.

Edited April 26, 2017 by The_Thall_Man

[Lilyana76]

I'm the classic girl next door type I guess. Long blonde hair, blue eyes, glasses, not thin but not too thick, average looking, no tattoos or piercings. But I'm attracted to my stark opposites, big tall biker men with tattoos and beards... the big hard looking but really a teddy bear types.

 

They must have been hibernating all winter though... Quite a dry spell for me here! But spring has sprung, so hopefully I'll be able to get on a bike with one soon!

 

Most of the men I'm attracted to, end up finding me to be the "little sister" they want to protect and not much else. So, this year I've decided to give more than just my type a chance. We shall see how it goes.

[Silverstring]

I don't have any trouble. I am the opposite sex version of my type, and in my experience like attracts like.

[CarbonCopy]

Unfortunately I always tend to attract my type, which is not good because my types tend to be unavailable.

[divegrl]

Unfortunately I always tend to attract my type, which is not good because my types tend to be unavailable.

 

Exact same for me!!!

[SwordofFlame]

As an Asian guy, I tend to attract Asian women that are some combination of shy, socially awkward and introverted. I tend to get along better with women that are more outgoing. Go figure.

[Mysterio]

Does anyone really have a type. There is two women that I am aquatined with. One is a Blonde and she is very pretty and lean. The other is mixed-Black/White heritage and more semi heavy set.

 

If I had to use movie stars to say which is which. The blonde would be closer to Kate Hudson. The Mixed girl would be like America Ferrera. I prefer AF.

 

If I had to go on what I like. I am way more into a woman engaging me with interesting conversations and laughs. Warm/Sharp/Sweet and Adorable also is in the mix.

[blockrockinbeat74]

Yes, I have trouble attracting my 'type', but I think that's entirely my own doing.

 

What I'd really like to find is a bona fide, kind, responsible, genuine man with no prejudices, no hang-ups, no one-track mind, who has my back and respects the way I live my life.

 

Yet somehow I seem to attract either the cocky type who thinks he's the bee's knees or the insecure mess who thinks he can't measure up. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but I'd really like to figure it out.

[bebe23]

I'm married, but long ago when I was dating I don't think I ever attracted my exact type. The men I've really been attracted to the most, my whole LIFE- are a little overweight and stocky, the kind who like to drink beer and eat wings and pizza in their recliners every weekend, kind of laid back personality wise. If they play sports it's football or maybe casual baseball.

 

But the ones who WERE into me, including my husband, were fit, thin, and into marathon running, ski racing, hiking, watersports, and are very intense about their activities and don't like to sit around and relax at ALL. My husband has barely ever touched a can of beer in his life, and he'd rather DO things than watch sports on TV.

 

Me, on the other hand, I'm not athletic at all. I like to sit and read and blog, work on creative writing, maybe walk my dog, do artwork and crafts. I'm a homebody and would not mind at all if my guy spent all Sunday watching football at home. Instead, he's out and busy. He's so opposite of me, but when we met I did like that. I had just hoped he'd learn to relax a little but he never did.

 

I don't know why I'm attracted to those kinds of guys. Attraction is hard to explain.

Edited April 28, 2017 by bebe23

[gaius]

Since I'm dating someone who checks every box on my type list, no I don't have a problem. Smart, stubborn, pig-headed , fun, genuine, and brunette with an ass that hypnotizes me. Her lips taste really good too.

[Inya]

Hi there

 

I've been around for some time and I still can't figure out how attraction works.

 

I don't realy have a physical type, I do have standards thou. Ok, i prefere tall and dark but I've been with short blonds...I find other things much more interesting and they can also turn me off completly. Voice is very important to me, way of walking, little gestures, perfect imperfections...I find perfect bodies boring.

 

I remember this guy had a crush on me when I was in highschool, short, a lot of extra weight, weird hair, very unattractive look...but there was something in his eyes, kindness, honesty and innocence and there was the fact that he dared. He waited for me in a bus stop for hours to walk me home, because he didn't know when I finish school and I was so flattered (any girl I knew would run away). Later on we become friends with benefits and I was really physically attracted to him, but never in love.

 

I'm not easily atrracted to someone, years can go by. I stand out with my appearance (don't want to), I'm tall and thin with the some right shapes, independent and confident. I atrrack two kind of men, those who see me as a chalange and those who are somehow messed-up and in need of guidance, a leader. But the worst thing is, it took me a long time to realize, that I am attracted to "weaker men" and it sucks. I don't want to be a leader or a shrink in a relationship.

 

OLD is one thing I know nothing about, I must see the guy in person.