Assessing Your Romantic Prospects

[Mysterio]

No matter what age you are. I am 46. How long would you give yourself to find a Romantic Prospect?

 

Is there time where you will activley stop looking and let it come to you. Or just keep going out on Dates no matter the outcome.

 

I just can't see entering my 50's in 4 yrs and still trying to carve this side of my life out. Is there a time where you have to evaluate and cut losses.

 

At this stage of your life. Are you open to having kids or not. For me. I don't think I want kids. I want to have a Romantic relationship where we enjoy each others company. Go to Music/Movie venues. Do shared interesting social/recreational activities. Travel. Raising is not on my radar. I just can't see doing that now. Esspecially when I hit 50.

 

Anyways whats your take.

[central]

I was your age when I kicked my ex to the curb and got back into the dating world. I didn't put a time limit on anything, but it took a year and a half to find a truly great match. There were a few great runners up, too.

 

If I hadn't found someone, I'd have probably kept dating, although perhaps at a more sedate pace. As long as I'm horny, I'd keep dating to get laid, no doubt. Eventually, though, well into retirement, I might still keep dating, but for companionship instead.

 

Kids? Been there, done that, as was the case with the women I met. And many did not have children. This is only an issue if you want to date much younger, which I don't recommend.

[GemmaUK]

I flip on and off OLD but I've found guys just come on way too strong on OLD especially.

I'm 48 and I just can't be doing with someone wanting to know my every move as if I am a six year old kid needing to report in but at the same time putting me on a pedestal once they meet me.

 

If it happens, fine, if it's a heck of a lot of stress (such as I have mentioned) then no thank you!!!

[Popsicle]

What does giving up mean? Does it mean learning to be content alone vs. miserable alone? Does it mean stop looking? Does it mean not having an open heart? Does it mean rejecting any prospects?

[Mysterio]

I keep hearing all this coming on strong stuff from guys. When I date. I never even try to get physically intimate. I did not have sex with my ex GF till we were officially a couple. Around week 7 or so.

 

If a woman ticks off all the boxes in my head and is warm and single. I may pursue. What I mean by actively not pursuing. I mean no OLD. NO Speed Dating. No every woman I am in the presence in. I don't try to ask them out without there being some conversation where we bat back and forth interesting conversation and laughs and confirmation of status.

 

Bottom line. I am not forcing myself on someone romantically. I had a dream just a couple of hours ago. There were two women. One was with me trying to escape bad guys from my childhood home. The other I met in the park by childhood home.

 

Both girls wanted me to choose. So I gave them a quiz and they wrote down answers on the type of girl I wanted. The girl in the Park was closer to what I wanted. She was the one that I was not pursuing. She just came to me. As opposed to the other one.

 

I think the Universe is telling me Mysterio that I should be letting the woman come to me more. Than me pursuing all the time.

[mrs rubble]

I met my husband when he was 45, we got married 6 weeks ago and he turns 50 next week, so there is still hope for you!

I felt the same way as you did and thought I'd never meet anyone for me, but I stuck with it, and I actually met my husband while I was on a date with another man.

The other man was very blasé about our dates and told my now husband that we were just FWB, so my (now) husband pursued me having been given the green light by the other man. My husband makes me feel loved, desired, and appreciated. I feel very lucky to have met him.

Oh we're both a bit old for any more kids now, but we did have a surprise pregnancy 3 years ago and after discussion decided to keep the baby, however I miscarried in the 2nd trimester.

 

 

Wishing you all the best in your search, I hope you find someone special for you.

[preraph]

I came back out into the world after a long hiatus at about 49. I'm female. It's not fun trying to meet any guys you like at that age. A couple who seemed interested were in their 30s and I don't like knowing that someone isn't going to take you seriously, so i didn't take those anywhere. Guys my own age were still just looking at young 20-30 year old women, not a surprise to me.

 

I had a couple of re-encounters with old bfs. That was a little more productive. One had an alcohol problem though that he had temporarily gone into AA for, but when he recontacted me acting interested in getting together (long distance), I mean, he had a teenager living with him and honestly I don't mind teens, but at that time in my life, I was really wanting something to be about me for once. I turned him down and it was just as well as he started drinking again.

 

I think men don't have as much trouble dating at that age IF and only if they will date age-appropriate. Women are often at their sexual peak hormonally in their 40s and 50s and no one wants them, so there should be plenty looking for love.

[Mysterio]

Preraph. Are you saying on a superficial level. If I date women that are in their 40/50's. Due to Bio hormones. I can have Sex on tap and don't have to really beg for sex. All I have to do is show up and be a gentleman and let all the love flow. LOL.

 

I never feel like the women around me are horndogs. Feels like dating is a chore for them.

[GemmaUK]

I keep hearing all this coming on strong stuff from guys. When I date. I never even try to get physically intimate. I did not have sex with my ex GF till we were officially a couple. Around week 7 or so.

 

My post wasn't about sex, I've found the men I dated in their forties have little interest in sex - which is very disappointing - was for me anyway.

This was about them wanting to be bf/gf after the first meet, talking about moving in together 2 weeks later, needing tonnes of contact in between dates and constantly needing to know where you are and what you're doing.

[todreaminblue]

i dont think romance ever dies..there's no age limit to romance......it just fades if we let it.....

 

i saw this elderly couple waddling like penguins outside a butcher shop.....holding hands....walking really slow..two little octogenarians who didnt care one bit for the hustle and bustle around them would have made a perfect painting....time stood still around them ...........dont think i have seen anything more romantic than that...yep...im a die hard romantic....and my youngest daughter is too...because we both went awwwww and had misty eyes smilin at each other at exactly the same time wqatching two penguins together.......same feelings of euphoria liek ...uplifted to witness that........to believe love can last that long......betcha they worked at it though....keeping the love alive the romance.....

 

i think as single romantics its easy to keep flames lit....there's romance everywhere.......in muisc...poetry ...art ....peoples.....friends....fam....mowing your mums lawn one day for no reason not because she asked you too just because you want to is romantic......telling a check out girl she has a beautiful smile is romantic..giving you bff a bunch of flowers on no special day is romantic...or a friend a chocolate surprise...is romance..its affectionate romance and there are so many ways to share that around when you are single.not all romance involves ....body fluids...affection and romance go

together...its warm it sweet ...its neat......

 

 

so when you do find someone....the couples romance...piece of carrot cake...smilin...i threw a bottle in the ocean with a love letter down at my fave pier one night.....sealed it all up and let the ocean take away my unrequited love......i felt romance then too...even though of course it was not reciprocated.....i dont know where that bottle is now....i have an image of it bobbing in deep blue water........i am so glad i did that.....and my family knows i did too...:bunny:........never say never...to romance........long live the die hard romantics.......deb

Edited March 26, 2017 by todreaminblue

[JuneJulySeptember]

 

At this stage of your life. Are you open to having kids or not. For me. I don't think I want kids. I want to have a Romantic relationship where we enjoy each others company. Go to Music/Movie venues. Do shared interesting social/recreational activities. Travel. Raising is not on my radar. I just can't see doing that now. Esspecially when I hit 50.

 

Anyways whats your take.

 

My perspective (and I have told my girlfriend this) is that people have kids because the coupled life gets old.

 

A lot of people couple because it's a lot easier than trying to create and maintain a social life as an older adult.

 

Then, after you're a couple for a few years, you'll eventually start doing the same things.

 

As far as doing things like music/movies/shows/bars to fill the time as a couple, yeah, those things might get old for some people, maybe not for others. And your alcohol tolerance goes down. And they are also expensive, as is regular travel.

 

So, if you both have a lot of $, then you could live in a place like NYC where there's always something to do, and travel a lot, and you'd never be bored.

 

Or you could find jobs in another city, and explore that city until it gets old.

 

Another idea is you could keep switching girlfriends/wives if you didn't want kids.

 

There's a lot of options.

[Mysterio]

My friend Mike and his wife don't have kids. They have been together since 1991 and got married in 1996.

 

To be very frank. They seem more together now than when they first got together. If there is any other couple to emulate. This is the one.

 

For me. I think the kid thing gets old. I don't know what my buddy MK's wife is going to do when the kids are grown up. MK always needs action. So when she is mid 50's and the kids are in their own life. I think that there may be some turbulance.

 

If she think she is going to sit around the house and they do nothing. She can think again. I love going out and meeting new people and have conversation.

[JuneJulySeptember]

My friend Mike and his wife don't have kids. They have been together since 1991 and got married in 1996.

 

To be very frank. They seem more together now than when they first got together. If there is any other couple to emulate. This is the one.

 

For me. I think the kid thing gets old. I don't know what my buddy MK's wife is going to do when the kids are grown up. MK always needs action. So when she is mid 50's and the kids are in their own life. I think that there may be some turbulance.

 

If she think she is going to sit around the house and they do nothing. She can think again. I love going out and meeting new people and have conversation.

 

I feel I could be happy without kids. But life is very different in retrospect.

 

A lot of the things the viewpoints I had in life when I was even only 5 years younger are very different. My priorities have changed.

[central]

I think the Universe is telling me Mysterio that I should be letting the woman come to me more. Than me pursuing all the time.

 

You don't have to pursue, but at least you need to let women know you are available. I used OLD, but I did not contact women - I just had a good, honest profile. I waited for those who were interested to contact me. That's how I met all of the women I did meet and date (about 52 in 18 months), and it's how my wife found me.

[Mysterio]

Letting a woman know that I am single is pursuing. Lightly, but its still pursuing. I guess I can make that exception.