We kissed with ex, now what?

[Zahara]

And this time I am willing to do a child custody report if even once she tells me she has elles at her kids while drunk.

 

She was behaving this way a long time ago (your other thread) and you were aware of the mistreatment of her children then. You never had a problem with it when you were in her good graces or when you were getting what you needed from her. You even made excuses when you were in the home and present when it was happening, choosing to be oblivious to it.

 

She blows you off now and you find a weapon -- her children.

 

Stop using her kids as pawns. You care nothing about them except for how they can benefit in your scheming towards her. You both are equally dysfunctional.

Edited April 21, 2017 by Zahara

[VeveCakes]

I forgot to add - being on Tinder one night and whining over 5 matches is silly. It's not instant. Spend more time on there, make some effort. Not going to happen at the snap of your fingers.

[Protec]

I forgot to add - being on Tinder one night and whining over 5 matches is silly. It's not instant. Spend more time on there, make some effort. Not going to happen at the snap of your fingers.

 

"No new people around your area." Most depressing message you can read

[Protec]

Well. I did it again. I spent evening with my ex. This is bad. We are not friends. Not even close.

 

She uses me for closeness, that's for sure, i'm 100% sure of it now. This time she even pushed me on my bed and jumped on me. We did this friendly kind of wrestle. Tickling and...you know.

 

I love that woman. I cannot help it. I had such a fun evening with her... We played old nintendo 8-bit together, watched tv, hugged (a LOT) talked, went to a restaurant, to movies...

 

If i didn't know. I would think she is single. This time she even put her arms completely inside my shirt and she tried out my chest!! "So that's how you felt..."

 

Teasing, flirting, hugging, laughing, i hate myself for being this weak. I wanted to say it to her so many times "You know, this is not ok"

 

Maybe i just say that i love her.. After that i know she will start devaluing me.

[Jersey born raised]

What was her childhood like? It seems she has some serious FOO or CSA issues.

[Protec]

What was her childhood like? It seems she has some serious FOO or CSA issues.

 

I don't know what happened to her but they did move around A LOT. And she has not talked with her real father in years. She actually hates her real father.

 

So she definitely has some issues. That's for sure. And not to mention she forgets to take her bipolar medicines.

 

Anyway. I am here to discuss about my own problems and my relationship to my ex.

 

for some reason she is being very nice to me. I mean VERY nice. She even massaged my neck last night and she never massaged me during our relationship.

 

She sighed a lot. We hugged. She sighed. We hugged more. She sighed more. It felt like at times she was thinking "Why being close to my ex feels so much better than with my current man. Why i feel this way with him?"

 

At times she seemed confused. Well hell, i would be confused too if i was engaged and realized i have more fun spending time with another woman and being close to that person.

 

You CANNOT fake chemistry. The way she touches me is so sensitive and so sensuel. It feels like caring. It is not a normal way she touches. It feels so...emotional. Hard to explain. No person has ever touched me that way.

And i have never touched any person either in that way.

 

This is just a terrible situation. I love her. That's for sure. I have feelings towards her. I always did. And i have fun with her. problem is: I want more.

 

I want to kiss her. I want to fall asleep next to her. I want to take her hiking. I want to make her dinner. I want to do everything with her.

 

She also said she doesn't remember anything about our relationship. Which i find kind of hard to believe since i remember almost everything.

 

I cannot go no contact for such person. I have too strong feelings towards her. IF we are going to separate, it has to come from the BOTH sides this time. We have to talk about this with her. That's the only way.

 

Because i know, any women will not even want to think anything serious with me if i tell "Oh btw, i hang with my ex-gf usually once a week. We hug and watch movies together and have fun. But she is engaged so nothing to worry."

 

I really can't see myself even dating such a person. So if i want to move forward. I have to let my ex go. Not because of i dislike her, but because i love her.

 

What we are doing now is wrong towards her current man. I think i would have couple black eyes if her man would know we spend few hours hugging each other.

 

But it has to come from both sides this time. I don't want it to happen but is there really any other way? I can't keep on huggin and being close to my ex... Not with these emotions. Only thing i wanted yesterday was not sex, but to fall asleep next to her. Being under the same blanket. That is what i wanted the most.

 

Oh and she gave me a cooking book and bread knife.

[Protec]

The last month, she has been so nice person to me. So nice it is hard for me to believe it's actually the same person even. I cannot imagine her being evil, her saying nasty things, etc.

 

She is complete opposite how she was in our relationship.

 

"This does not usually happen with friends of a narcissist, since these people are usually not spending with friends enough time to get bored with them. That is why every time a narcissist meets friends, he/she is usually very friendly and polite towards them, because it is very important for narcissistic people to give a good impression.

This is the reason why the friends of a narcissistic person often simply cannot believe that he/she can be such a monster towards his/her spouse. Instead, often friends tend to believe when a narcissist is complaining that all the problems in a relationship are caused by the spouse."

 

I remember when we started dating. Everything was a bliss at first. But then she started to get bored, cold towards me and soon after that she started to go out with her friends...

 

And now? My ex is most likely getting bored to her man and she wants to spend time with me. She even said to me "It's getting boring when you see the same face every night and day, even at work".

 

That's relationship. If you get bored to your partner in less than half a year, is that really the RIGHT partner for you?

 

I have never gotten bored with my GF's. Well, maybe once. But again, she was not her right partner for me and i knew it.

 

Oh boy.

[Dehg]

Are you even here to get advice? Because the way you talk about this shows you will never have any self control since you refuse to get yourself out of this spot. I think I speak for everybody here that we have all moved on from somebody toxic at one point.

 

Unless she is just a ridiculous as you are, you would never have anything good with her anyway. Assuming she has even half of a working brain, she knows she has you by the balls at any time she wants. You sound like my step father, who persues my mother even 6 years after they separated. The man's life fell totally apart because he tortured himself with fantasies. All the while, my mother just realized more and more what a complete psychopath he was. Sounds like you're heading that way.

 

You really should consider finding some new things that make you happy.

[Protec]

Are you even here to get advice? Because the way you talk about this shows you will never have any self control since you refuse to get yourself out of this spot. I think I speak for everybody here that we have all moved on from somebody toxic at one point.

 

Unless she is just a ridiculous as you are, you would never have anything good with her anyway. Assuming she has even half of a working brain, she knows she has you by the balls at any time she wants. You sound like my step father, who persues my mother even 6 years after they separated. The man's life fell totally apart because he tortured himself with fantasies. All the while, my mother just realized more and more what a complete psychopath he was. Sounds like you're heading that way.

 

You really should consider finding some new things that make you happy.

 

I am trying to find things in my life that make me happy. Thing is, i need closeness of another human. I hate being home alone, no one to hug, no one to talk with, it drives me insane. Yes, i love sports, i love making music, playing videogames, being with my friends. But still miss being close to someone. Someone i care about.

 

And yes, i am aware she is using me. That's all she does. She came, she got 2 hours worth of hugs from me and now she is happy again with her fiancee.

 

Little does her fiancee know that she spent 2 hours hugging me.

 

I am destroying myself here. It's not that my ex abuses me now, or manipulates or anything. It's my own feelings that turn against me. And that feeling is love? I don't know but i want to be with her. And now i feel duped again. SIlly me.

 

I just don't understand what kind of woman hangs out with her ex just to use him a a hugging buddy...oh wait, the kind of woman my ex is.

 

I love her. I really do like her. I had so much fun with her last night. Playing NES, talking about stuff, having fun, feeling complete. I can really be myself around her.But it feels bad afterwards.

 

Somehow i kinda hope her man would find out what we are doing. Apparently to that guy it's completely ok that suddenly her gf starts hanging out with her ex.

 

But it's not about her and her man or what she does or doesn't. I need to solve this thing. Maybe i just disappear? I mean she DOES know that i have feelings for her so i don't need to tell her that. I don't need to tell her being with her makes me feel bad, i think she knows. Maybe i just fade away?

 

Or if she comes to my place, next time i should not let her touch me at all.

But it feels SO GOOD when she is near you. I have never felt that good around anyone. So it's quite hard to resist. Or if i just say "When you are single, then we can hug all you want, but as long as you have that ring in your finger, no touching, respect your man a liitle."

[Robert]

A reminder from moderation: the thread starter is not required to take any advice given here and no members are required to post in this thread.

 

If you don't have anything helpful to contribute, or if your intended post lacks civility and respect, please move on without posting here.

 

Posting privileges will be revoked for any further off-topic posts.

 

~6

 

[Protec]

Here are the questions that keep running in my head:

 

"Why is engaged woman seeking closeness from me?"

"Why is engaged woman saying she has so much better emotional connection with me than with her man?"

"Why is she suddenly liking the same music as i do and wants to spend time with me?"

"Why is she suddenly treating me so nicely after being so many months so mad at me, even threatening to send muscle to kick my ass?"

"Why does she sigh so much every time we hug for a long time?"

"She says she feels alone when she is not with me, why?"

"Why does she want to spend time with a man who psysically hurt her?"

"Before, when she got a new man she ditched me like a broken toy, why is she now suddenly playing with me again while she has a new, better toy?"

 

Those are the questions. And i have no answers.

 

Here are the questions i have answers:

 

"Why am i letting a woman who is engaged to get closeness from me?"

 

Because i enjoy it. I love being next to her. She feels nice and warm. I feel safe, like home when i am next to her.

 

"Why am i spending time with a woman who is engaged?"

 

Because i like being with her. We have same interests in music and movies. We get along well, i can be myself around her and we can talk about basically everything and do everything together.

 

"Why am i spending time with a woman who mentally abused me and cheated and suddenly just left you?"

 

Before she ditched me like a broken bicycle, "i have a new bike now, you're obsolete. Sorry." That's how it felt. And honestly, i am afraid she will do it again.

 

"Are you friends?"

 

I don't know what we are. But certainly not friends. Maybe she thinks me just as a friend, but i certainly don't think her just as a friend, and that is a problem.

 

"Don't you feel bad about letting your ex cheat her new man with you?"

 

Not really. We have not had sex. But I don't own anything to that guy. It's not really my problem.Sure, sometimes i think "this is wrong. We should not be doing this. But it's not really my problem. I cannot take the burden of her new relationship on my shoulders. That is between my ex and her man.

 

She has not treated me bad now. IT's the opposite. She was this friednly with me when we started dating. Back then she gave me small gifts and she was very nice to me. After few months her behaviour changed and suddenly everything she loved about me she now hated.

 

I know you people are trying to help me. And i APPRECIATE IT. I really do. But i just need mental support. I know i should cut her off from my life and never look back.

 

I just don't feel it's the right way to do. I just want answers. Why i am so attracted to her and why she is suddenly so in to me.

 

I go to therapy. Professional.

Edited April 23, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
reply to deleted post ~T

[Protec]

Yesterday i went out for a long walk, alone. I realized, at least for a moment, that i don't need anyone for my happiness. The happiness must come from inside me. And at that monent, i was happy. I did exactly what i wanted. I was outside in beautiful nature and i had some lunch with me. Did i feel empty? not really, no.

 

And i realized. I don't need my ex to be happy. What did i do before i met my ex? I was happy. What did i do 10 years ago? I dated other woman, and i was happy.

 

So i don't need her, but i want her into my life. She gives me something other people cannot give. Maybe it's just the feeling of being "complete". But i managed to feel complete yesterday even without her.

 

For a slight moment i was free. Could be my cyclothymia acting up, but yesterday i felt great, even without my ex.

 

I am actually very, very, very happy about all this. Without all this hassle, i would have never started my "soulsearching - part 2". I have, evolved a bit as a human being. I know now myself better, i have finally realized what i want from partner, and thanks to all this struggle i have started therapy to make myself a better person.

 

I feel different than year ago. I know it sounds crazy, but i feel more confident about myself. I survived that abuse. I was mentally so strong that eventually she left me.

 

This is what happened to me, exactly in my relationship with her: Backed Into an Emotional Corner | Psychopaths and Love

 

And also my ex has taughted me lots of new things.

 

-How to get along with kids

-How to enjoy wines

-How to enjoy dancing

-How to enjoy coffee

-How to enjoy a movie night at home

 

She made me do things i never thought i could enjoy. She made me to try harder and be better version of myself.

 

I have learned so much from her. Yes, the relationship was awful at times. But i am still greatful for all that. I have become more brave, i actually open my mouth to unknown people (of course that is also thanks to therapy). But i have nothing to be afraid of. I was in a relationship with narcisissistic bipolar person who abused me so much i ended up in therapy. What do i have to be afraid anymore? I survived that war.

 

And on top of that she is a corgeous woman. Very very beautiful. And that beautiful woman "loved" me. So that gives me such a confidence boost.

I am actually, after a long while, starting to feel like my old self again.

 

Yes, i still should get rid of my feelings towards her. And i hope i am able to do it without losing her. Or it could be she discards me soon anyway...

 

Today when i came home from work, i made sandwich and went out jogging, when i came back i cooked my self dinner from the cooking book my ex gave me. Even after the relationship, my ex keeps improving me. I am seriously a lousy cook. But because she gave me that book, now i have somehow inspiration to try cooking, improving myself.

 

She is a positive force. As strange as it sounds. Without her...i would not have lived even a day. With her i was alive. And because of her i feel i can finally start to enjoy living on my own. it takes time. But yesterday i felt free after a long time...

 

"This is me. Now i do what i want and no one is going to stop me. I am finally myself."

 

You know, i was teased and picked on in school because of...i was what i was. So i had to repress myself every day. I was not allowed to be myself. If i was, everyone laughed at my stories and thought i was a weirdo etc. So i started repressing myself, started living inside my head. So i became this silent guy who never talked with anyone. After school ended, i slowly started to get out of my "shell".

 

And with my ex, i was able to be myself. I didn't have to repress myself anymore. She still laughs at my stories. Maybe out of pity, i don't know. But the point is, i feel free, when i am with her. She unlocked something i had kept locked for a long time. Of course it's thanks to therapy as well.

 

That is why i love that woman. She showed me what i am, what i can be. The good and the bad.

Edited April 24, 2017 by Protec

[Protec]

But i still need somehow to end this all. Today she asked me to come over and play boardgames with her and her new man. There is no way i can do that.

 

I can't do it. As much as i would love to be just her friend, truth is i have more feelings towards her than just friendship.

 

And i know she tries something. For some reason she is trying to make me see her new man.

[Protec]

Actually i think i am losing my feelings towards her. She asked me to meet her again. This time at the flea market.

 

At one point i asked her "So how are you doing?"

 

"Oh my bf this and my bf that. And my bf this and that." What the hell? I asked about how she is doing, not how her new man is doing.

 

I was right. She lives completely trough her new man. And she compares me to him all the time.

 

I said "I was thinking about starting boxing lessons again and going back to gym". And then "yeah..we also have this weight lifting set in our livingroom and they are so heavy i cannot even lift them!". Maybe she doesn't do it on purpose, but that's comparing. It's very subtle but clearly the messages was "Oh, my man lifts weights too and he is strong too!"

 

Heh. She is very predictable. I knew it. I knew if i ask her any question about her, she will tell me something about her man. I see through her.

 

And i also knew she doesn't want any hugs now. She didn't. All she does is flaunt her new man at my face. And honestly i don't give a damn about her new man.

 

And my ex was also hinting about getting pregnant. How do i know? She always talked about how she cannot have a baby because of her bipolar medicines.

 

"I was thinking about stopping my medication. I don't want to poison my body anymore".

 

I told her to talk with her doctor first.

 

She laughed. "Hah. Doctors. They don't know anything."

 

And good news!!!

 

I actually may have a date (from tinder) this weekend. A Movie Date It could help me realize there are other women out there...

 

I don't feel so attached to my ex anymore as i used to. I am finally starting to see trough her, see what she really is. She is a nice woman. But constant bragging with her new man, constant comparing etc... it's not normal.

 

I have NEVER in my life compared my exes to my new GF's face or even old gf's face. Never. I have never bragged about "oh i have a new wonderful GF now." to any of my exes.

 

Am i finally getting free? I feel better and when she mentioned her new man, i actually didn't even flinch. All i though "I knew it! I knew you would bring him up somehow. I asked about YOU. What you did, how YOU are doing, not about your man".

 

This is very important day to me. But i am feeling sick a bit, so i was not too talkative with her.Even she noticed it.

 

And she quickly came to my place to get that boardgame back she left behind last friday. We hugged again but this time it was a friendly hug... No words like "oh you feel so wonderful", "i could hug you forever", "i am going to such energy from you".

 

Nothing like that.

[Altair0770]

Can I ask a serious question? I'm being serious and want to know.

 

 

Why are you still talking to this woman? Why haven't you done the NC rule and tried to at least move on?

 

I'd like you to answer that question, and while you're typing your answer try to realize if you have genuine reasons or just trying to make excuses.

 

Been 3 months since I joined LS. This thread has been up nearly the entire time. I'm not a relationship guru, and I know its difficult to lose someone you love. But from my understanding this has been going on for a few years, and everytime someone has tried to give you very good advice, you make reasons not to follow it.

 

We've all been there bro, it's why we're all here. We know it's not as easy as it sounds. We've seen countless people break NC because they just "had to text". it's so very, very difficult. But this challenge isn't just about getting a reward, it's about not being stuck in a rut for the rest of your life.

 

You should cancel your tinder date imo. You clearly aren't over your ex. and I have a feeling you're just going to hurt this new poor girl.

[ExpatInItaly]

Can I ask a serious question? I'm being serious and want to know.

 

 

Why are you still talking to this woman? Why haven't you done the NC rule and tried to at least move on?

 

I'd like you to answer that question, and while you're typing your answer try to realize if you have genuine reasons or just trying to make excuses.

 

Been 3 months since I joined LS. This thread has been up nearly the entire time. I'm not a relationship guru, and I know its difficult to lose someone you love. But from my understanding this has been going on for a few years, and everytime someone has tried to give you very good advice, you make reasons not to follow it.

 

We've all been there bro, it's why we're all here. We know it's not as easy as it sounds. We've seen countless people break NC because they just "had to text". it's so very, very difficult. But this challenge isn't just about getting a reward, it's about not being stuck in a rut for the rest of your life.

 

You should cancel your tinder date imo. You clearly aren't over your ex. and I have a feeling you're just going to hurt this new poor girl.

 

His other threads on the same woman will give all the back-story you need. There is much, much more to this story.

 

OP, she is doing what she always does. Nothing new there.

[ML Hammer95]

I've been spending time reading some of the other threads from the OP and this woman.... I'm stunned.

 

Why is this still going on? With NC there is always a period of relative suffering, but OP keeps running back to this woman who has been placed on a pedestal and used to mask the loneliness at the core of this issue.

 

I do think however that these threads are educational for other posters. Perhaps even some are addicted to the drama!!

 

But I do hope for the sake of OP that he is finally getting the help he needs. I'm also sure that if signs of recovery were posted here then plenty of people would be very supportive!

Edited April 27, 2017 by ML Hammer95

[Protec]

I've been spending time reading some of the other threads from the OP and this woman.... I'm stunned.

 

Why is this still going on? With NC there is always a period of relative suffering, but OP keeps running back to this woman who has been placed on a pedestal and used to mask the loneliness at the core of this issue.

 

I do think however that these threads are educational for other posters. Perhaps even some are addicted to the drama!!

 

But I do hope for the sake of OP that he is finally getting the help he needs. I'm also sure that if signs of recovery were posted here then plenty of people would be very supportive!

 

I am gettin there. I calculated that it takes about 1-2 months and i am rid of her.

 

Again she sends me messages like "Oh i had a surprise in my lunch bag! It's so nice that someone else cooks too!" I don't really give a damn.

 

I replied to her "well good for you then".

 

I actually wanted to continue "Maybe you should teach your man how to hug too so you don't have to come over and hug me every once a while. Or send the guy at my place so i can teach him".

 

Trust me, i am not that much into her anymore i was few months ago or even month ago. I have finally seen how she acts outside the relationship.

 

So far she has:

 

-Cheated her new man with me (kissing, hugging on my bed, long intimate hugs, etc.)

-Flaunts and brags with her new man constantly at my face. Yes. I GET IT. He is Mr. Wonderful.

-her basic pattern Push-pull (idealize - devalue - discard) etc.

 

It's all there.

 

I finally see it all from another angle. She is a nice woman. But i am just...done with her pretty soon. I get nothing from her anymore. I love spending time with her but all i hear is how wonderful her new man is.....so... That's not friendship.

 

She knows 110% that i have feelings for her. And because she knows, she keeps rubbing her new RS at my face.

 

You know what, i am going to be better than that. I have to be. I will not go NC. Not yet. But last night i didn't even send her good night message anymore (i have sent her every night i got "back" with her).

 

I don't need this kind of treatment.

 

I have been a friend with ex-gf once. And we actually were friends. We kept the boundaries. I didn't talk about my GF and she didn't talk about her man adventures to me. We didn't hug each other in my bed. She didn't flaunt and brag her new men in my face (i know she dated...she was a pretty woman).

 

That was friendship. We respected each other and each others feelings.

 

This? This is not friendship. We meet only when she wants to, if i suggest, she usually doesn't even respond.

 

It seems so desperate from her part. "My man this, my man that. My man is perfect. perfect. And did i mention he is PERFECT?"

 

She ALREADY CHEATED ON HIM! WITH ME. We kissed month ago. Week ago she was jumpin on me, at my bed with clothes on "Oh i would love to do more but i am engaged..."

 

She is a loon. I need something better in my life. I deserve better in my life. I deserve a person in my life who respects me for what i am. Someone who doesn't want to push my buttons just to see if i get angry. She really knows how to push those buttons.

 

And for some reason she has been pushing them for almost a week now. Ever since after last friday she has been pushing them. And how she pushes them? By bragging about her new man.

 

I will get over this. FFS.

 

And you know what she does after this?

 

She will try to secude me. But if she comes at my place again and tries to hug me i will say this "Sorry, but you have a fiancee at home. Maybe you should just teach him how to be a perfect hugger as well :)"

 

And you see? She knows how to push them. I actually had to put the phone away so i don't send her any nasty messages. I am pretty done with her bull****.

Edited April 27, 2017 by Protec

[ML Hammer95]

I don't think you are done to be honest. You'll go back I guarantee it.

[Protec]

I don't think you are done to be honest. You'll go back I guarantee it.

 

No. I am not done yet. But i will be. I am on my way to freedom.

 

I deserve better. She is so desperately rubbing her new RS in my face it's ridiculous. If the guy is so god damn PERFECT, why is she in movies with me? Why does she complain she need hugs?

 

Because he isn't. He isn't perfect. My ex is most likely using me to make her new man jealous, so when the new man is starting to get afraid he will lose her (just like she did with me), he will try harder. He will try harder to keep her happy. Until nothing is enough.

 

Again. She doesn't love the man, she just loves what the man can do. She has not fallen in love with the mans charachter, she has fallen in love with his abilities.

 

Well, since her new man is such perfection, i guess she does not have to go in movies with me anymore, or at least hug me.

[ML Hammer95]

No. I am not done yet. But i will be. I am on my way to freedom.

 

I deserve better. She is so desperately rubbing her new RS in my face it's ridiculous. If the guy is so god damn PERFECT, why is she in movies with me? Why does she complain she need hugs?

 

Because he isn't. He isn't perfect. My ex is most likely using me to make her new man jealous, so when the new man is starting to get afraid he will lose her (just like she did with me), he will try harder. He will try harder to keep her happy. Until nothing is enough.

 

Again. She doesn't love the man, she just loves what the man can do. She has not fallen in love with the mans charachter, she has fallen in love with his abilities.

 

Well, since her new man is such perfection, i guess she does not have to go in movies with me anymore, or at least hug me.

 

Nah, she cheated on you and then reported you to the police and you stuck around or went back. You KNOW what to do but you just don't do it man. I can't believe that any counsellor or psychiatrist would advise you keep her in your life in any capacity. However much she doesn't love the man she is with, she doesn't love you either.

[Protec]

Nah, she cheated on you and then reported you to the police and you stuck around or went back. You KNOW what to do but you just don't do it man. I can't believe that any counsellor or psychiatrist would advise you keep her in your life in any capacity. However much she doesn't love the man she is with, she doesn't love you either.

 

My councellor adviced me not to stay in contact with her. But she cannot force me.

 

They can advice, not force.

 

I know she doesn't love me. All i wonder is why on earth she has to brag about her new RS at my face all the time. I mean, she broke up with me.

 

Now she is constanly bragging how the new man can do things i cannot do.

 

But i decided, if she comes to my place again, i will not let her hug me.

 

"you have a man now. If he doesn't know how to hug, sorry. But don't come for me to get your hugs"

[Protec]

I was reading my old threads about this woman last night and my god how low have a fallen.

 

All that pain, drama, pushing and pulling...no wonder i lost my mental health (as i am very sensitive person).

 

And my ex...she is just pushing my buttons every single day. She keeps bragging so much about her new man she is basically living through him.

 

I sent her good night message, as i have almost every night now. Just basic "good night."

 

And again. "Good night. I just came home and it's so wonderful someone has kept the grill warm and there is some salmon in there :)"

 

YES. I GOT IT. Your new man knows how to cook.

 

I was having a bad day myself so i sent her a bit grumpy message "Maybe i leave you and Mr. Perfect alone for tonight. G'night." Weak from me. I know. It was weak.

 

That is exactly what she wanted from me.

 

I am trying to live my own life. I don't care about her new man. I am not interested about him.

 

And my ex is constantly just telling me me what her man does or what her kids does. She never talks about herself. "What have YOU done?". Because she doesn't exist.

 

There is no her. There is just a shell that changes according to what kind of person she is dealing with. When she is with me, she loves electronic music and movies i enjoy. She likes playing videogames and doing stuff i like to do.

 

When she is with her new man, she loves everything her new man does. Suddenly she is into hunting and walking in forests.

 

And i told her too when we were in relationship that i enjoy walking in nature too. But she always got up with something why we couldn't go.

 

Who I am? I am starting to find the answers.

[Protec]

Guess who is getting the silent treatment now?

Oh my god.

[ML Hammer95]

Guess who is getting the silent treatment now?

Oh my god.

 

Why are you still sending her good night messages?

 

You're focusing on her behaviour still... 'why is she doing this', 'what she is doing'... it is completely the wrong way to think about it. Nobody says it's easy, but you have to keep the focus on you. You do not need answers from her. Whatever progress you make is going to be limited by this mindset.