feel stupid

[Cloudgazer99]

It adds to me feeling ashamed. I think that's what it is. I've always felt like that most of my life and I'm aware I am a ridiculous mess. I think I was just looking for support not new parents

[Jacquic]

Well, I for one can completely relate, I am in a very similar position, I am married, he is with a partner, are situations are almost exactly the same, he pulls and pushes me, I have fallen completely in love with him but am trying to keep him at arms length. This has been going on for nearly a year now and I havent slept with him, some weeks he makes me feel amazing, some weeks he ignores me. I am married but not happy, I have tried to leave my husband but my husband gets really upsets and begs me not to. I have not taken it any further because I think deep down I know the other man is not nice but he made me feel amazing at a time when I felt very lonely and depressed.

 

I know certain people here will be happy to completely slate us but unless people have been in this situation it is hard to judge, I have tried to wlak away many times but he seems to have a power over me

 

You are not alone in this, all I can say is try and get out because it doesn't get any better x

[curiouslysearching]

Whether he consciously knows it or not (I suspect he does), he's playing games with you. He likes the attention, the flirting, the ego boosts. My xMM loved it too, and he also would pull away dramatically and act cold to me. You'll never know what it is -- a game, guilt, cold feet, second guessing.

 

But the thing is, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHY. Trust me and other xOW and xMM on this site. You need to extricate yourself from this situation. Yes, you probably have overwhelming attraction to and connection with this guy. I did. Most OW do. Most xMM do. But you are in for a world, a universe, of hurt if you continue down this road.

 

Affairs don't end well. At best, you guys have a brief fling, and the rest of your time at your job is spent in awkward silence and emotional pain. At worst, you get discovered, one or both of you gets fired, his wife (rightly) makes your life a living nightmare, and you spend months and months in emotional pain, unable to forget the "what ifs" of your affair.

 

Don't do it. Please. It's not worth it.

 

FMS is on target in that he is playing games. He knows that you are

attracted to him so he uses that to pull your strings. To me, he is a

major TOOL. Anyone that jerks someone around simply because they

can is not a good person. He is stroking his ego for whatever reason and

it seems you are letting him do it. Tell that dude to leave you alone

[BluesPower]

Ladies Please stay away...

 

Trust me, I was once these men. Not at all proud of it but it is true.

 

Most, if not all just want to get laid. If you go for it I assure you that you will get hurt and to those that are married, it is even worse if your affair gets discovered.

 

Do whatever is necessary to get away from them, tell HR, or move jobs or whatever. Get you lives and/or marriages together because no matter what this type of guy will make all of it worse after the great sex and falling in love it will just go to hell in a hand basket.

[BTDT2012]

The man is married, leave him alone. Tell him to leave you alone. If he continues, go to HR. It is totally you decision whether the life of a sidepiece is for you. From what you've described, this man simply loves the thrill of the chase. And part of you is enjoying it.

[freengreen]

I think all men know that a little word play with women can bring great rewards. Some use it against us, some use it for us.

 

I am not commenting on if leaving your boyfriend and not letting him know of your attraction towards a married man was right. I just want to say that sweet talk dosnt mean sweetheart , some men have really got immense talent to woo you with words and then throw you under a truck without looking back on you again.