Please help me....

[maj]

I have discovered that my girl friend is in love with another guy, she confessed to me and said that she knows she's wrong, but she can't control herself....

 

she said she will be with me as long as I want her to...

 

but the problem is that I want her to love me, not only be with me.

 

I dont want her to have contact with that guy anymore, but she said it's hard to give up. Should I force her or just let her be that way...She also said that she can't promise that she won't cheat on me anymore...that's the s***ty part...

 

please give me some advise.....thankyou

[Tony T]

Why in the name of heaven would you want to keep a girl in your life who is in love with another guy??? I know this hurts but do you understand what's going on here??? This lady is in love with somebody else and she can't take him out of her mind. Repeat the sentence until you understand that.

 

You have NO CHOICE but to let her go immediately. How can you conduct any kind of relationship with a girl who's in love with somebody else and can't control herself??? If you even care slightly about this lady, cut her loose. Geeze...how can you even think of keeping her around when she wants to be elsewhere??? And why wouldn't you want to concentrate your efforts on finding a more mature, stable lady who would want to be with you and wouldn't be looking all over the place and falling in love with others.

 

Do both of you a favor, give her all her things and send her on her way. This will not work, ever, never, never. I mean she has sent you the clearest message any woman can send a man. She has told you clearly she is in love with somebody else. How much more clear can she be??? How much more honest???

 

Honor her candor by setting her free. You have no choice in the matter, really.

 

She is trying to let you preserve your dignity by setting her free. If you don't, she's going to stomp all ove your butt and leave. Learn to take hints because she gave you a lot more than a hint and you just don't get it.

 

I am truly sorry this has happened to you but better situations will come into your life. I personally never had the luxury of a lady being so honest with me. They usually just pooped all over me and left.

[sparkle]

Listen to Tony's advice..it doesn't get any better than that.

 

If I were you, I'd call up this girl THIS SECOND and in a very nice way, tell her to take a hike. I'd tell her that I don't need to or want to be with her anymore. I'd tell her that I'd rather be with someone that is in love with me AND only me. And I want to be with someone that will not cheat on me.

 

Break up with this girl ASAP. YOU DESERVE THE BEST. Remember that. You deserve a girl that is interested in you and you only, that is in love with you and you only. You deserve a girl that won't cheat on you. What makes you think you deserve anything less than this????????

 

I'm thinking...and I'm thinking...and I STILL can't think of WHY you would still want to be with her????

 

So remember, you DESERVE better. Don't settle for less.

[LB]

I have discovered that my girl friend is in love with another guy, she confessed to me and said that she knows she's wrong, but she can't control herself.... she said she will be with me as long as I want her to... but the problem is that I want her to love me, not only be with me. I dont want her to have contact with that guy anymore, but she said it's hard to give up. Should I force her or just let her be that way...She also said that she can't promise that she won't cheat on me anymore...that's the s***ty part...

 

please give me some advise.....thankyou

You have to work on YOU here. Obviously this girl takes you for granted because she feels she can. You have to realize that you deserve better. Dont let anyone treat you like that, and never, never "settle" in a relationship, because when you do, it NEVER works out. Good luck to you!!

[Miss Mojo]

hi maj,

 

i'm sorry that you are feeling hurt....it is pretty s***ty but it would be even s***tier to stay with her.

 

this girl obviously wants to have her cake and eat it too..."i will stay with you if you like, but i will probably cheat on you". how convenient for her. excuse me for sounding rude, but how skanky and inconsiderate of her. if she had an ounce of maturity, she would let you go. why? because she is obviously not capable of giving you what is important to YOU. she is half-heartedly offering you bronze, when you want gold.

 

now, if i was in a situation like this, i too would be absolutely devestated. but if a guy were *ever* to say to me that they couldn't guarantee they wouldn't cheat on me, i would kick their backside out the door so hard they wouldn't know what hit them. whilst i would appreciate their honesty, i would *NEVER* continue a relationship with them if monogamy was what i desired in a relationship, but they weren't able to promise me that.

 

please, do not settle for second best. if you do, are you giving her everything she wants (with you being there for her to use as she pleases), you would be selling yourself short, you would be missing out on opportunities with some awesome girls, you would be making a fool of yourself, you would be setting yourself up for hurt.

 

this girl has been honest with you about her feelings, and in a roundabout way, she is telling you she doesn't want to be with you exclusively. i know this is painful, but it would be so, so much more painful if you were to settle for her crappy offer. if this was my sister and you were her boyfriend, i would tell her take a long walk off a short pier and do you a favour and let you go. unfortunately, you cannot force a person to do anything.

 

let her go, and if she comes back, then hopefully you know where you stand. if she doesn't, a window of opportunity has opened for you to date some incredible girls and have a lot of fun finding the one who can give you the exclusive relationship you desire.

 

good luck