Would you rather date someone who is mature or intelligent?

[ZayKayWill]

Obviously there's no reason why you can't have both, but I want to know which you would rather have a higher domain of if given the choice. I personally would prefer to have a partner that was higher in maturity than intelligence. Why? Well let's say we get into an argument. Doesn't matter how smart you are...even the smartest of people can still be very immature. I would rather have a partner that I know would be able to sit down and have a discussion with me about our differences and not be one to try to turn it into a game. If they're mature enough to be able to work through whatever issue we will INEVITABLY have (because lets face it, no matter how perfect the relationship is, there will always be arguments/disagreements), then I feel at that point they are already perfect. I guess you can call that a form of emotional intelligence, but still my point stands. Would much rather have a partner that is mature than one that is super intelligent. The more mature adult will always have the upper hand.

[Larryville]

I remember this paragraph….

 

Mature person, in general, is defined as an individual who has achieved natural growth and development. It is having attained the final or desired state. To be more specific, a mature person is one who is able to live life with principles and wisdom both gained through learning from others and by their own experiences. Mature person is able to lead life with high emotional intelligence that aids them to stay calm and think clearly during difficult moments. Mature person also knows how to keep a harmonious and win-win attitude towards other people because they have mastered the principles of relationship.

 

I know many will disagree with me and grind their teeth at but I think because of what “dating” has

de-evolved into those of us (YES ME TOO) will never evolve into true maturity.

 

Using OLD as a reference point, we browse thru human beings like poking thru the produce section of a grocery store, some reject the smell of some, the color of others, and the soul of even more.

 

We have to keep re-introducing ourselves, bloviating about the same old trivial nonsense to sell ourselves to win someone’s time.

 

The coveted price for many a under the sheet fest and even that wear thin because we don’t or we don’t care to delve deeper. We will get bored, complacent, and weary and get back on our apps and computer sites to browse for that next fix.

 

As long as we engage in this empty practice we will never become MATURE. Only those lucky enough to have escaped the grind and focused enough to “delve deeper” working to keep and value what they have can accomplish “maturity”.

 

I fear I won’t get back there, I had the right person to get me there, but was too dumb and not “mature” enough to keep em.

 

I yield my soapbox....

[CaliforniaGirl]

Both. I wouldn't choose. They are equally important.

 

Can't find both? Then I'd be heavily into my hobbies. There's no need to "have to" make choices like this one, not even hypothetical ones. "I can be alone" is also a part of maturity.

[Silverstring]

I guess you can call that a form of emotional intelligence, but still my point stands. Would much rather have a partner that is mature than one that is super intelligent.

 

 

Yes exactly, what you are referring to is emotional intelligence and in a long term relationship, is very important. Intellectual quotient (I.Q.) on the other hand, is quite attractive to most folks, but rather meaningless when it comes to how good of a partner you are (or have).

[ZayKayWill]

Both. I wouldn't choose. They are equally important.

 

Can't find both? Then I'd be heavily into my hobbies. There's no need to "have to" make choices like this one, not even hypothetical ones. "I can be alone" is also a part of maturity.

 

Did you put me on your ignore list? Didn't see your post till just now? O_o

[Popsicle]

I'd pick mature by far.

[Shanex]

Ideally I'd like my woman:

 

-Young

-Intelligent

-Financially independent

-Pretty

-Sane

-Witty

-Funny

-Mature

 

Since this is almost impossible, I settle for what I can get. Not lowering my standards in any way. But I want at least 3 of those points in the list gathered for a good mate.

[ZayKayWill]

Ideally I'd like my woman:

 

-Young

-Intelligent

-Financially independent

-Pretty

-Sane

-Witty

-Funny

-Mature

 

Since this is almost impossible, I settle for what I can get. Not lowering my standards in any way. But I want at least 3 of those points in the list gathered for a good mate.

 

Sad but true.

[TheParadox7]

Both are good, as long as the other person has a good sense of humor too

[CaliforniaGirl]

Did you put me on your ignore list? Didn't see your post till just now? O_o

 

No. I apparently will be permanently moderated due to a computer issue? The mods do their absolute best though and are very kind about it. But there will always be a delay.

[Otter2569]

Both. I wouldn't choose. They are equally important.

 

Can't find both? Then I'd be heavily into my hobbies. There's no need to "have to" make choices like this one, not even hypothetical ones. "I can be alone" is also a part of maturity.

 

Completely agree with you. I would not last long with someone lacking in either. I would rather be alone than deal with someone lacking in one or both.

[Chilli]

Yep , as far as it surviving goes, you need a bit of both.

And don't forget to , intelligence comes in all shapes and forms.

Some of the smartest women l know are as dumb as dogsh@t in a relationship or common sense, wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy.

But some of what some people might think were the simplest or fun girls, have a beautiful way and understanding.

 

Go figure.

[WaitingForBardot]

These were never the primary traits by which I chose partners. I chose girls/women with whom I felt good; good about myself, good about life, etc. Sometimes they were intelligent, sometimes not so much; sometimes they were beautiful, sometimes not so much; they just weren't the most important things to me.

[amaysngrace]

Intelligent because if you're smart enough you can figure out how to get by while remaining chronically immature.

[aileD]

Immature people are horrible to deal with.

[carhill]

OP, let's take a public figure who died a few years ago in a tragic taxi accident with his life partner, essentially being with him throughout life, and being married for much of it, even though they divorced during some difficult times, and describe how maturity and intelligence fits.

 

John Nash.

 

Was he mature? Intelligent?

 

Do either of those terms exist in a vacuum or are they fluid? Why or why not?

 

I guess my answer isn't a black and white one, since I prefer to date a well-rounded person, one who possesses measures of maturity, intelligence, self-awareness, generosity, selfishness, health, sickness, etc, etc. in a package which fits will with my own journey through life. Synergy.

 

Back to John.... was he mature, intelligent? How about his partner and wife, Alicia? What attributes did she display in life. That she stayed with him, and left him, and stayed with him, what does that say about her? Was she better or worse or neither?

 

No fair you say, John was a schizophrenic? He was mentally ill? Interesting, isn't it. How we label. How we put people in boxes. Part of the human experience I guess.

[springblossoms]

Both, for sure!

[central]

I'd choose the mature person, as long as they are of normal intelligence. They will be much easier to live with, and should have good relationship skills. Your choice implies the intelligent person (to be labeled as such, they must be above average intelligence) is immature. That usually leads to poor relationship skills and drama, which I want no part of.

 

 

Fortunately, in real life I found someone who is both very mature and highly intelligent.

[WaitingForBardot]

These were never the primary traits by which I chose partners. I chose girls/women with whom I felt good; good about myself, good about life, etc. Sometimes they were intelligent, sometimes not so much; sometimes they were beautiful, sometimes not so much; they just weren't the most important things to me.

I meant to say mature, not beautiful... ..Doh!..

[No_Go]

Maturity and intelligence are the 2 qualities on the top of my list for potential mate.

 

I'd say in my current stage of life: maturity/responsibility wins (with the prerequisite the guy is at least somewhat intelligent - so that we can have a coherent conversation without me trying to explain myself). If I was older and not planning to have kids with the guy: intelligence would win. Intelligence is the biggest chemistry creator, but maturity is necessary for having a decent LTR.

 

Obviously there's no reason why you can't have both, but I want to know which you would rather have a higher domain of if given the choice. I personally would prefer to have a partner that was higher in maturity than intelligence. Why? Well let's say we get into an argument. Doesn't matter how smart you are...even the smartest of people can still be very immature. I would rather have a partner that I know would be able to sit down and have a discussion with me about our differences and not be one to try to turn it into a game. If they're mature enough to be able to work through whatever issue we will INEVITABLY have (because lets face it, no matter how perfect the relationship is, there will always be arguments/disagreements), then I feel at that point they are already perfect. I guess you can call that a form of emotional intelligence, but still my point stands. Would much rather have a partner that is mature than one that is super intelligent. The more mature adult will always have the upper hand.

[William]

Did you put me on your ignore list? Didn't see your post till just now? O_o

 

LoveShack.org Community Forums - Announcements in Forum : General Relationship Discussion

 

The particular member you're referring to is unfortunately auto-moderated for all or nearly all their posts so their content will always be delayed somewhat.

 

Now back to the discussion. Thanks!