Author p87 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Share Posted March 21, 2017 **** i only just read this so I was right he do3s like her and she told u so. Wat more proof u need. U need som boundaries show her ur balls dude and draw a line. I know it's hard I'd walk away I'd she doesn't take into consideration how u feel. Anyone that really is into u will stop something that's hurting there partner think about it if she values the relationship enough. Think about it. Sometimes u hav to be strong enough to walk away it shows u the other party ur no door mat to walked over they'll want u even more then Actually asked her if we are working out. I told her I don't want to force her in a relationship and that I don't want to waste both of our time. I don't know what she'll think, but I really like her. If she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me now then I guess like you said I have to let it go. Thanks for all the replies man, I really appreciate your words. Link to post Share on other sites
Author p87 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Share Posted March 21, 2017 I used to be close with a bunch of my friends before I got into a relationship. But after my breakup i feel like we all drift apart, they have new classes in a new semester at school and new relationships. I don't know what to do. I value them and don't want to lose them, and i feel lost and lonely after my breakup. Link to post Share on other sites
Maldives Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Actually asked her if we are working out. I told her I don't want to force her in a relationship and that I don't want to waste both of our time. I don't know what she'll think, but I really like her. If she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me now then I guess like you said I have to let it go. Thanks for all the replies man, I really appreciate your words. No worries dude hope ur get wat ur after. Woman hav an advantage I feel over us men it's easier for them to get a guy then us get a girl generally speaking. They all lov attention. Anyway enough of my rambling hope it works out for u I'll say this she's lucky to have a loyal guy as in ureself. I still after almost 20 odd yrs cannot figure out wat woman want son things I've learnt along the way tho they r needs driven (there needs not ures) they look for better options, security, in lots of cases money. Anyway good luck bro Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 If you abandoned them just because you got a boyfriend, they are not going to love you for that and just be waiting with open arms now that you don't have a boyfriend anymore. I mean, if that is what you did, that was rude behavior. You should never just stop seeing friends for some relationship. Yes, it may be that you have to curtail going out to bars and acting single with them or that you sometimes should invite your bf so he knows them, but you should maintain contact and go to lunch once in awhile to catch up and stay in contact if you expect to keep them as friends. Treat them right and your friends will be there all through and after most men have come and gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author p87 Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 Hey guys, Quick question. How do you start over again if you're at the same school with an ex that dump you? Any suggestions of getting better and moving on??? I don't want to see her, and I know I can't avoid her forever, but every time I see her it hurts. What should I do?? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 go easy on yourself ...sometimes in life you cant avoid people, its just not possible especially if you have th esame circle of friends..and askign others to choose is not right........ the best thing to do is be polite, courteous but distant and work on keeping that in place..dotn involve your sefl in conversations or outings with that person...and maintain the friendships you have with more time and effort...........eventually it becomes easier.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author p87 Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 How do you not blame yourself for being dump? I have so much regret and mistakes that it kills me to think about it everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 How do you not blame yourself for being dump? I have so much regret and mistakes that it kills me to think about it everyday. You go back and read your other thread about your ex and her bad behaviour with other guys. (I am assuming you are speaking about here) You deserve a lot of more than what she was offering. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 How do you not blame yourself for being dump? I have so much regret and mistakes that it kills me to think about it everyday. being dumped can be the best thing that happened to you you might not see that now.....but one day you will.....for one...you are no longer in a relationship that was one sided,.,....you can now be free to meet the person who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author p87 Posted March 28, 2017 Author Share Posted March 28, 2017 If my ex dump me and said "it's not you it's me, I just can't commit myself to anyone right now, I can't give you what you want." What does that mean??? Because she tells me she will still love me, even if she's with someone else in the future (as she explains she can be in love with multiple people in the same time), should I wait for her? Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 To be blunt it's over! To be nice she say this but really it just means I don't want to be with you at this time, very selfish and weak, better if men or women who don't want to be with someone are just honest. This plays with minds and totally unfair to the one they say it to . If she just said it's over the guilt for her would be to much so she has took the easy route. Not you it's me. Heard it once to many myself. Walk away asap. Do not wait. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 No, don't wait for her. She is moving on and doesn't want to get your hopes up for a reconciliation. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 "It's not you, it's me" - This generally means "I think you're a decent guy and I don't think you should change yourself, but I'm just not that into you, sorry." "I just can't commit myself to anyone right now" - This generally means "I don't feel like this relationship will last. I can't commit myself to YOU." "I can't give you what you want" - This generally means "I think you are more into me than I am into you. I feel bad about that." "I will still love you" - this generally means "I have fond feelings towards you, I think you're a decent guy, I really hope we don't end up hating each other." Women are generally socialised to be nice and not hurt people's feelings (and some of them are scared to be too rough when rejecting guys because some guys handle rejection very badly). They will try to cushion the blow. Especially if they actually do like you, but just don't want to be in a relationship with you. However, DON'T wait around. That breakup line is absolutely a breakup line. She is NOT saying she'll come back to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author p87 Posted March 29, 2017 Author Share Posted March 29, 2017 "It's not you, it's me" - This generally means "I think you're a decent guy and I don't think you should change yourself, but I'm just not that into you, sorry." "I just can't commit myself to anyone right now" - This generally means "I don't feel like this relationship will last. I can't commit myself to YOU." "I can't give you what you want" - This generally means "I think you are more into me than I am into you. I feel bad about that." "I will still love you" - this generally means "I have fond feelings towards you, I think you're a decent guy, I really hope we don't end up hating each other." Women are generally socialised to be nice and not hurt people's feelings (and some of them are scared to be too rough when rejecting guys because some guys handle rejection very badly). They will try to cushion the blow. Especially if they actually do like you, but just don't want to be in a relationship with you. However, DON'T wait around. That breakup line is absolutely a breakup line. She is NOT saying she'll come back to you. Can I hate her for dumping me? Will that help? I know everyone said be indifferent, but that's kind of hard to do. That'll just made me feel guilty and unocnfident about myself. I seriously don't know what to do and how to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Altair0770 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 You're welcome to have any emotion you damn well please. But if you're looking for reconciliation, act indifferent towards her or anyone you know has any possible way of contacting her except those you trust to never say a word about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Butterfly213 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 If my ex dump me and said "it's not you it's me, I just can't commit myself to anyone right now, I can't give you what you want." What does that mean??? Because she tells me she will still love me, even if she's with someone else in the future (as she explains she can be in love with multiple people in the same time), should I wait for her? My ex said that he just needs to be single to sort his life out and he'll be back he also said that he loves me so much , later on I found out that he was cheating on me. Exes lie so much when they're breaking up with you, mostly to protect your feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author p87 Posted March 29, 2017 Author Share Posted March 29, 2017 My ex said that he just needs to be single to sort his life out and he'll be back he also said that he loves me so much , later on I found out that he was cheating on me. Exes lie so much when they're breaking up with you, mostly to protect your feelings. I understand. But they should realize they're just confusing me more. I spent three months after the breakup to realize that I should move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author p87 Posted March 29, 2017 Author Share Posted March 29, 2017 To be blunt it's over! To be nice she say this but really it just means I don't want to be with you at this time, very selfish and weak, better if men or women who don't want to be with someone are just honest. This plays with minds and totally unfair to the one they say it to . If she just said it's over the guilt for her would be to much so she has took the easy route. Not you it's me. Heard it once to many myself. Walk away asap. Do not wait. Good luck. Thank you. This actually gives me a lot of clarity since it took me months to realize that. It's all about her guilt, but if she's more harsh or honest with me in the beginning, I would have move on faster. Link to post Share on other sites
Author p87 Posted March 29, 2017 Author Share Posted March 29, 2017 Guys sorry to post so much lately, but how exactly can I motivation to hate my ex that dump me so I can move on an do better in life? She claims that she's helping me move on, so it's kinda hard to hate her. Link to post Share on other sites
keiji Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Hating the dumper won't help you move on. The only victim of your hate is yourself, unless you take revenge by some nasty means. You move on by thinking about yourself, trying to improve and, above all, being patient. You won't heal in a month, but any negative feelings you have towards her won't speed up the process either. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Guys sorry to post so much lately, but how exactly can I motivation to hate my ex that dump me so I can move on an do better in life? She claims that she's helping me move on, so it's kinda hard to hate her. Grieving a break up is similar to grieving a death. There are stages of grief. You need to allow yourself to process each stage. You will likely get to a point where anger comes up. When it does, channel it in a positive way -- do proactive things with that negative energy. Anger is a useful emotion if it is controlled and channeled properly. You cannot "make" yourself hate her, but you will get angry. And, you should go and remain no contact. She claims that she's helping me move on, so it's kinda hard to hate her. -- How is she doing that? She has no business/right to try to control or manage you and/or your emotions in any way, shape or form. That by itself, pisses me off . . . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 You will move on when you are indifferent, not when you hate her. But you might need to go through hate to get there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author p87 Posted March 29, 2017 Author Share Posted March 29, 2017 Grieving a break up is similar to grieving a death. She claims that she's helping me move on, so it's kinda hard to hate her. -- How is she doing that? She has no business/right to try to control or manage you and/or your emotions in any way, shape or form. That by itself, pisses me off . . . She says she's helping me by blocking me. She wanted me to hate her so I can move on, but all I did was love her more and ask her back. When I did got angry later on, because she's hurting me so much, she got her reason to block me. But I feel like in any shape or form I am being help by her. I know I shouldn't beg her back, but she doesn't have to do me a favor by "helping" me move on, that just made me feel like a bad person to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author p87 Posted March 29, 2017 Author Share Posted March 29, 2017 You will move on when you are indifferent, not when you hate her. But you might need to go through hate to get there. That's why I am asking how do you hate someone you love so much?? Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 (edited) Note from moderation: We've merged 9 threads about the same topic and ask the threadstarter to not begin any new threads. Please update this one. Thanks, ~6 Edited March 29, 2017 by Robert Link to post Share on other sites
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