Popsicle Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Hi blue Ya I totally get what your saying but its a gut feeling...its done Plus he went from texting incessantly to nothing in the past 36 hours I wont be hearing from him again I dont like that massive shift in communication...it doesnt seem stable or reliable to me Trust you instincts and I agree with you. He's dropped off. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Hi blue Ya I totally get what your saying but its a gut feeling...its done Plus he went from texting incessantly to nothing in the past 36 hours I wont be hearing from him again I dont like that massive shift in communication...it doesnt seem stable or reliable to me Hello Dis! How are ya? Well I can understand the uneasy feeling from a change like that. Have you tried reaching out to him? That is, if you are still interested. I'm not saying what you're feeling is wrong, but I do know things can happen. Say, for instance, if he thinks to himself, "I just realized I've been texting her so much.. what if she doesn't like it that much? Maybe I should back off a little or I will scare her away" or something like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Trust you instincts and I agree with you. He's dropped off. Could be right but just trying to consider other possibilities since it seemed to go so well. :/ 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 I get it. He wanted a piece of ass. He decided that if you weren't gonna jump his bones Monday night or at least Tuesday that he may give it one shot by this weekend. So don't be surprised if you hear from him tomorrow. He would rather just cut to the chase and have the sex scene than go through all the effort of getting to know you. I know that is a bit cynical and disheartening, but OP, you know enough of my posts on LS to know I am never going to be confused with being an International Diplomat, so here goes....lol As much as some people may take offense to this, many men who inhabit dating sites for very long have an huge ability to expect far too much far too quick. They are basically there because they feel their time is running short so they want to make as fast a connection as possible. We as a gender are much more fragile than we will ever admit. Women may be on OLD sites to look for more of a long lasting potential relationship, but let's be honest, men are usually quite happy to go the path of least resistance if they can get laid early n in the process. As I always say: "Women want a lot of things form one guy.,,,and guys want one thing from a lot of girls." If I were in your position I would not waste any more headspace on cricket boy. He is probably swiping on Tinder with one hand and with his dick in the other as of this writing. This was awesome Space!!! I think you might be right but its hard for me to believe...he talked a good game He mentioned all his ex's were crazy and those are the girls he always went for but he worked on that Maybe they all gave it up to him quickly too He was very confident which I liked...but maybe a little too confident..as in if I didnt sleep with him he'd run off and find someone who would He didnt even try to kiss me and he wasnt inappropriate at all...but who knows Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 Hello Dis! How are ya? Well I can understand the uneasy feeling from a change like that. Have you tried reaching out to him? That is, if you are still interested. I'm not saying what you're feeling is wrong, but I do know things can happen. Say, for instance, if he thinks to himself, "I just realized I've been texting her so much.. what if she doesn't like it that much? Maybe I should back off a little or I will scare her away" or something like that. Could be right but just trying to consider other possibilities since it seemed to go so well. :/ He seemed too confident for that Plus if a guy is really interested, he'll take the chance The absence of communication after all the over the top communication really turned me off I like consistency. He doesnt need to be over the top all the time or anything but going from 10 to 0 isnt something I find attractive 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 He seemed too confident for that Plus if a guy is really interested, he'll take the chance The absence of communication after all the over the top communication really turned me off I like consistency. He doesnt need to be over the top all the time or anything but going from 10 to 0 isnt something I find attractive You're getting somewhere. You mention the behavior and how it made you feel. Badly. Now go one step further and stop looking for his motivations. It's almost seems like you are looking for a way to make excuses for it. He is not a close relative that you have to deal with. He is a stranger who has made you feel bad. Write him off and be done with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I like consistency. He doesnt need to be over the top all the time or anything but going from 10 to 0 isnt something I find attractive Ohh ok, I understand now Thanks. If his action turned you off, no need to go any further with that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jgraham11 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I'm still a little confused with why you feel this has no chance though. I mean i've read you saying that it's "your gut feeling" and everything, but still I'm a guy and I HATE feeling like I'm bothering women by texting them too much. Especially if I feel their response time is lacking or what they say in the follow up text doesn't match in quality/quantity. So I sometimes take a step back and let the girl take the lead in the texting. I just HIGHLY doubt this guy would just fall off the face of the earth on you after one date especially with the way he seemed to be speaking of you. Ultimately you're going to do what you want, but I can't help but feel like you may be cutting him way too soon. Communicate with him, send a text out and just say "Hey, you've been a little quiet lately. What's up?" Link to post Share on other sites
selinaluv Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I just HIGHLY doubt this guy would just fall off the face of the earth on you after one date especially with the way he seemed to be speaking of you. Ultimately you're going to do what you want, but I can't help but feel like you may be cutting him way too soon. Sadly it happens far more than you think. I would say it has happened to many ladies at least once or twice. I have been known to see it coming from a mile away, but have still gone along with it. I just think people get sidetracked when they are online dating with the "shiny new option". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jgraham11 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Sadly it happens far more than you think. I would say it has happened to many ladies at least once or twice. I have been known to see it coming from a mile away, but have still gone along with it. I just think people get sidetracked when they are online dating with the "shiny new option". Perhaps, I think a simple text to him would clear up every answer though. Then that kind of makes a place like this obsolete, but you'll never get a better answer than from that person I just think she'd be well served to send him something. This just seems like a scenario that is begging for a "clarity" text Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Did none of your instincts kick in at the point before you met where he was blowing up your phone and putting you on a pedestal? That is the point I would have put the breaks on and declined to meet him. Anyone blowing my phone up and seemingly liking me so much before meeting is just not realistic or normal. You simply can't like someone that much before you've met them. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
selinaluv Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Perhaps, I think a simple text to him would clear up every answer though. Then that kind of makes a place like this obsolete, but you'll never get a better answer than from that person I just think she'd be well served to send him something. This just seems like a scenario that is begging for a "clarity" text Sure, there is nothing wrong with that. I have been known to do so in similar circumstances. Some never responded. Some gave a weak response and never texted again. The sudden, extreme drop is never a good sign. The gut is usually correct. It recently just happened. He talked about "next date" but never phoned or followed up on it again. I thought about following up and realized I really wasn't into him that much and didn't want to chase him down for no reason. Guy I am dating now went hard before our date. I could see him trying to lock it down and stand out. But he didn't love bomb or sweet talk me. He just tried to get to know me. We had a great date, he immediately asked for a second. He has gone down maybe slightly 10% in his outreach and that may be attributed to an allergy reaction and ER visit that took him out a couple days. Even then he was texting and calling to check in. I also have no issue texting or calling him. The conversation has been fluid. If it changes drastically, I will be concerned. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jgraham11 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Sure, there is nothing wrong with that. I have been known to do so in similar circumstances. Some never responded. Some gave a weak response and never texted again. The sudden, extreme drop is never a good sign. The gut is usually correct. It recently just happened. He talked about "next date" but never phoned or followed up on it again. I thought about following up and realized I really wasn't into him that much and didn't want to chase him down for no reason. Guy I am dating now went hard before our date. I could see him trying to lock it down and stand out. We had a great date, he immediately asked for a second. He has gone down maybe slightly 10% in his outreach and that may be attributed to an allergy reaction and ER visit that took him out a couple days. Even then he was texting and calling to check in. I also have no issue texting or calling him. The conversation has been fluid. If it changes drastically, I will be concerned. Well the texting game changes so much over a relationship. When you first meet someone it's totally different of course than if you are in a 1 year relationship for example. It's good you have the ability to reach out and he vice versa. Some girls I know look at texting first like they're coming off too strong or they're not being chased. I think that's such BS You have something to say, just say it. We all owe it to ourselves to just quit playing grammar school texting games. That's something adults don't even grow out of unfortunately. We're all guilty of it, I know I definitely am. I analyze the meaning of texts constantly (or the lack thereof) it's mental. It's too bad just calling someone and having a phone conversation isn't more normal, but it's like Taboo nowadays. You could get a way better read of someone Link to post Share on other sites
selinaluv Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Well the texting game changes so much over a relationship. When you first meet someone it's totally different of course than if you are in a 1 year relationship for example. It's good you have the ability to reach out and he vice versa. Some girls I know look at texting first like they're coming off too strong or they're not being chased. I think that's such BS You have something to say, just say it. We all owe it to ourselves to just quit playing grammar school texting games. That's something adults don't even grow out of unfortunately. We're all guilty of it, I know I definitely am. I analyze the meaning of texts constantly (or the lack thereof) it's mental. It's too bad just calling someone and having a phone conversation isn't more normal, but it's like Taboo nowadays. You could get a way better read of someone I agree with you here. I am not afraid to text a man if it feels like it is welcomed. I won't chase him though. If he is not reciprocating much I am gone. Same goes for calling, but some men just don't want to pick up the phone. I now know to be wary of those. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 (edited) This whole thread is so scary...because I know OLD is filled with land mines like this guy. He sounds like an adept manipulator. Pulling at women's strings... I actually ran into a guy like this recently. The over complimenting, but in a way that seemed really personal and genuine. These people are really creepy. Whether he comes back or not, you're right, he's not worth your time Sorry this happened. Edited March 30, 2017 by Cookiesandough 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 What is obvious - and it is up to you to take or leave any advice but I've suggested a book to you a few times now titled 'Aunty Alex's Army Manual - Toads and the Women Who Kiss Them' (later in the title in mentions Narcissists - I wish it didn't as I hate when people try to diagnose others) but if you had read that book I don't think you would have gone on this date at all. I think you, as I would, would have killed this dead when he was blowing up your phone and saying things that were too good to be true. You seem like a lovely lady and I really would love to see you in a great relationship but meeting guys requires a bit of learning about behaviours and also acting upon instincts rather than ignoring them. It's the 'not fun' part of dating but is just as essential as being attracted. At the end of the day the most important person in a relationship is you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 When men lay it on really thick like that on the OLD site, it immediately makes me nervous. It's not real. How can they say such things when you haven't met yet? Many frauds start out that way, gushing and laying it on thick. They need to get you hooked in. If you hit it off, I suppose it's possible he's worried about coming on too strong and overbearing, and doesn't want to scare you away. The thought of losing you is real after meeting in person? But he went completely dark, and that's not a good sign. After a text or two, if no response, just let it go. There's no rhyme or reason to it. I've had a couple dates that seemed to go exceptionally well, and then they disappear. I don't know if they met someone else or if they put they're all in it for a couple dates but weren't really feeling it. It hurts, move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 This was awesome Space!!! He mentioned all his ex's were crazy and those are the girls he always went for but he worked on that Maybe they all gave it up to him quickly too He was very confident which I liked...but maybe a little too confident..as in if I didnt sleep with him he'd run off and find someone who would He didnt even try to kiss me and he wasnt inappropriate at all...but who knows I'm sorry this happened to you but please, please, please, the next time a guy says his ex's were crazy, cut him loose ASAP. The only common denominator is him. It speaks very poorly on him, not his exes. Also, words are cheap. Do you get easily seduced by men who act into you? Because I can tell you, that's also easy to perform. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I had a date with a guy I met on Okcupid. He was texting me off the hook everyday for a week until we meet, pouring on the compliments...almost like he was putting me on a pedestal... it was over the top to say the least I went on the date Monday night. Omg, I thought it went SO well. We really connected on an emotional/mental level. He read me like a book and was SO sweet. Just the things he said really hit home with me and made me feel like I had met someone really special, someone who had a soul like mine He texted me to make sure I got home safe and told me what a great time he had and how gorgeous he thought I was. Then the next day I got a weird feeling. He sent me a good morning text but it wasnt his usual gushy over the top text. I texted back a simple good morning as I usually did Then today...crickets My gut is usually spot on when it comes to dating and I knew he was dropping of the radar. I'm def not chasing after him so it is what it is I just want to know why men (and women) do this. Why do they put on such a show and lay it on so thick only to disappear If I'm not feeling a guy on a date, I'm nice...but I'm certainly not gushing over him because I know I'm not interested. I'm also not putting the blame on myself because I didnt do anything wrong or misrepresent myself Guys I've dated for months or even years have done this. Have acted like they really cared for me and loved me only to disappear or cheat This kind of thing reminds me of the quote, "The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman's love with no intention of loving her." I dont get it.... maybe hes an arse hat who used you for practice.... maybe he is no longer living.... maybe an ex came back in his life and is going to work it out with her.... maybe he decided that he wants to date men or just someone else.... maybe hes just not that into you.... maybe he lost his phone or his house caught fire.... we don't know. please when this happens refrain from giving a darn because giving a darn doesn't help your gorgeous wonderful self. good luck! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I had a date with a guy I met on Okcupid. He was texting me off the hook everyday for a week until we meet, pouring on the compliments...almost like he was putting me on a pedestal... it was over the top to say the least I went on the date Monday night. Omg, I thought it went SO well. We really connected on an emotional/mental level. He read me like a book and was SO sweet. Just the things he said really hit home with me and made me feel like I had met someone really special, someone who had a soul like mine He texted me to make sure I got home safe and told me what a great time he had and how gorgeous he thought I was. Then the next day I got a weird feeling. He sent me a good morning text but it wasnt his usual gushy over the top text. I texted back a simple good morning as I usually did Then today...crickets My gut is usually spot on when it comes to dating and I knew he was dropping of the radar. I'm def not chasing after him so it is what it is I just want to know why men (and women) do this. Why do they put on such a show and lay it on so thick only to disappear If I'm not feeling a guy on a date, I'm nice...but I'm certainly not gushing over him because I know I'm not interested. I'm also not putting the blame on myself because I didnt do anything wrong or misrepresent myself Guys I've dated for months or even years have done this. Have acted like they really cared for me and loved me only to disappear or cheat This kind of thing reminds me of the quote, "The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman's love with no intention of loving her." I dont get it.... Sweetie, it's marketing/sales . . . they know what most women like/want and so they give it to them. But, women need to be objective and logical, especially on a first or second date, etc. If a guy is pouring it on so thick then, there's a problem. And, some of those men who spent more time with you may very well have cared about/loved you until . . . If I'm not feeling a guy on a date, I'm nice...but I'm certainly not gushing over him -- Well, they are just being in the/their moment likely . . . at that point they really are into you and having a nice time, etc., but when they step away from the situation, they become more objective, I'd say, and actually focus on somethings that, in retrospect, is off putting to them for some reason. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Did none of your instincts kick in at the point before you met where he was blowing up your phone and putting you on a pedestal? That was my thought exactly. I have moved fast in the past before, but it was a RL relationship. Somebody gushing online without ever having seen me, or after seeing me for an hour or two, would trigger my alarms. These people don't get far if the other side is not receptive to their antics. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I have to say, Dis: you've seen this love bombing thing before and you know how it works out. You have to trust your gut but you also have to trust your logic, too. I feel you may have put the blinders on a little for this one. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 That was my thought exactly. I have moved fast in the past before, but it was a RL relationship. Somebody gushing online without ever having seen me, or after seeing me for an hour or two, would trigger my alarms. These people don't get far if the other side is not receptive to their antics. This is a good point. It's quite ridiculous for someone to be so gushy about someone they've never even met in person. I just watched an episode of the show "Catfish" and I am amazed that this still happens and that the show still exists. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I had a date with a guy I met on Okcupid. He was texting me off the hook everyday for a week until we meet, pouring on the compliments...almost like he was putting me on a pedestal... it was over the top to say the least I went on the date Monday night. Omg, I thought it went SO well. We really connected on an emotional/mental level. He read me like a book and was SO sweet. Just the things he said really hit home with me and made me feel like I had met someone really special, someone who had a soul like mine He texted me to make sure I got home safe and told me what a great time he had and how gorgeous he thought I was. Then the next day I got a weird feeling. He sent me a good morning text but it wasnt his usual gushy over the top text. I texted back a simple good morning as I usually did Then today...crickets My gut is usually spot on when it comes to dating and I knew he was dropping of the radar. I'm def not chasing after him so it is what it is I just want to know why men (and women) do this. Why do they put on such a show and lay it on so thick only to disappear If I'm not feeling a guy on a date, I'm nice...but I'm certainly not gushing over him because I know I'm not interested. I'm also not putting the blame on myself because I didnt do anything wrong or misrepresent myself Guys I've dated for months or even years have done this. Have acted like they really cared for me and loved me only to disappear or cheat This kind of thing reminds me of the quote, "The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman's love with no intention of loving her." I dont get it.... He's seeing other women along side of you. What did you tell him in your date with him? He might have lost interest in you in the date. Just takes one thing to make them not contact you again. Yes you have to be blunt, show some interest, not be rude, tell them if it going to work or not or if your feeling it with them. He might have wanted sex and you didn't opt in for it. Today men want sex first night then they can see if you and them are what they want. Just something about you and men are not going anywhere to the next level? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 This is a good point. It's quite ridiculous for someone to be so gushy about someone they've never even met in person. I just watched an episode of the show "Catfish" and I am amazed that this still happens and that the show still exists. what annoys me about catfish is how easy it is not to be catfished lol. I mean all you have to do is meet the person who is talking that good stuff lol. him: I love you and think your the most beautiful person in the world me: uh huh, yeah, that's nice so um about this date? when was that we can meet him: ummmm. well [ insert whatever excuse people give not to meet ] like its so easy to not get catfished. just meet the dang person. if you never meet them then you have no biz falling in love with the fake person 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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