Sexually abused by mother (daughter)

[blackwidow290]

In the past few months, I have been having flashbacks of something that occurred 16 years ago, when I was 13 years old. I had just finished taking a shower, had gotten dressed, and stepped into the living room. It seemed that I caught my father, mother, and older sister in the middle of a confrontation. At that point, taking the opportunity of seeing me walk in, my mother pushed me against the wall (I'm female) and she started rubbing her butt uncontrollably against my vagina. This was a one time occurrence that makes no sense to me. I naturally started to cry but I was too young to process it. At this point in my life, I feel deeply angry and do not understand why this would happen. My older sibling just put her hand over her mouth in shock and when I started to cry, my father said oh no don't cry as if nothing happened. My parents moved to the other room and kept fighting.

 

Over the years, yes my mother was a deeply troubled emotionally abusive (as in always putting me down and getting upset whenever I succeeded) and physically abusive person (though the latter mostly towards my sibling). Other instances of sexual abuse, would happen when I would walk in the kitchen to grab food, she would touch me over my clothes and grab me. I would push or hit her as self-defense and be angry, but she just seemed amused. I don't understand how a parent can do that to a minor, especially a woman to another woman. Sometimes, she would do this and say that this is all men want. I'm in a very happy supportive relationship and limit my contact with my parents, but I just feel resentment..yet they act like I overact. This bothers me and I feel that I need to discuss it with someone. Any insights would be appreciated.

 

Thank you.

[Arieswoman]

blackwidow,

I am sorry that this happened to you.

 

I think the help you need is beyond the scope of those on this board.

 

I would urge you to seek counselling from a professional who deals with childhood sexual abuse. In the meantime I would stay low-contact with your parents.

 

Good luck, and I hope you can get some closure in the future.

[spiderowl]

I'm so sorry to hear what happened. Your mother sounds a disturbed person who abused you. You are bound to feel angry. What they are doing is invalidating your feelings - which of course they will do as they do not want to think they did wrong or confess to what is a crime.

 

Have you contacted any organisations who support victims of sexual abuse? I feel sure it might help to talk to an expert. I cannot see any good coming from trying to stay in any kind of relationship with your parents. Even though your father did not commit the abuse, he did not stop it or acknowledge it so he is part of the problem.

 

You have every right to feel upset and disturbed by this. You must have felt very threatened being confronted with this in your own home and from the person who was supposed to protect you. You do need someone to talk to about this to help you feel safe again.

Edited March 31, 2017 by spiderowl

[pam4him]

@blackwidow290: I am so sorry you had to go through that. Most of what you described is more than enough to have a child removed from such situations. The good news is, you are stronger now and limiting interaction with your parents is probably wise. As for the flashbacks, counseling could help with those. Take care of yourself.

Edited April 3, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator