What percent of girls/guys do you people find too unattractive to date?

[telemakus]

And my point is, lower your physical standard to someone who would be a pleasure to date. If she has to be in the Greek god catagory in order for you to get it up, you're skrewed.

 

These people that are only attracted to the top 5% of the most physically beautiful must be in quite a pickle - the odds of finding a "match" in such a small percentile are slim.

 

I am curious, how many who stated that they have very high physical standards are still single.

 

While finding all of the amazing qualities and compatibilities my husband has , plus an Adonis body seems like quite a unicorn. My Mr is no slouch physically, but certainly isn't a two percenter (neither am I!). I don't NEED an Adonis to be sexually attracted. It seems like some on this thread do.

 

Well the point is men are just as entitled to WANT to have the spectacularly hot partner to sleep with as you were when you had your FWB. But we would have to put in the extra mile of 'dating' etc in order to achieve that.

 

Now if the roles were reversed, maybe you'd never have actually gone through the process of dating your Olympic deity to have slept with him but we don't live in a world where men can get casual sex whenever they want it and women have to work hard to do so.

[telemakus]

Sadly I've tried lowering my standards but then my libido plummets to nothing within a few weeks of dating and we end up more like roommates than lovers. So yes it is frustrating. My last LTR was with a woman who was everything I wanted physically and my libido never dropped in 3 years...

 

Yes. It's silly to me the idea that if you're less good looking yourself you have lower standards for what you find attractive.

 

Any average looking guy is going to go out of his way to keep a woman he finds really hot who is in turn willing to have sex with him. It's rare that it happens.

[CptInsano]

And my point is, lower your physical standard to someone who would be a pleasure to date. If she has to be in the Greek god catagory in order for you to get it up, you're skrewed.

 

The problem is, that this trade-off doesn't work, at least from a heterosexual male perspective. Not being physically attractive doesn't make a woman less of a drama queen. I really can't see a correlation in either way, meaning that I absolutely cannot tell by her looks whether she is going to be trouble or not. "Dating down" simply never worked for me, either.

 

While finding all of the amazing qualities and compatibilities my husband has , plus an Adonis body seems like quite a unicorn. My Mr is no slouch physically, but certainly isn't a two percenter (neither am I!). I don't NEED an Adonis to be sexually attracted. It seems like some on this thread do.

 

I do agree however that reducing one's criteria to a set that doesn't eliminate everybody on the face of this earth can be very helpful. But I really don't think it matters much where you start in that regard.

[GravityMan]

Just because I think a particular woman is an attractive person (in looks, demeanor, personality, etc.) doesn't necessarily mean that I'm automatically going to be romantically interested and attracted to her.

 

I've met plenty of women that I feel are attractive. I've felt that spark for some of them, but didn't feel any spark for others and thus had little or no interest in dating them. In the latter case, this doesn't necessarily mean that I had some serious issues with them...some of them are friends, acquaintances and colleagues of mine and we get along great. In many cases it's simply that there wasn't any chemistry.

[LookAtThisPOst]

For me, I would say about 5-10% of girls who I would reject on the basis of looks. I'm curious about what are your guys thoughts on it?

 

Where I live and within 10 to 15 miles of where I live? A good 90% undate-able. Of course, I live in an area where most women are the size of a dump truck and if they aren't big, they look like a truck stop hooker that smoke a carton of Marlboros a day.

 

Just go to "People of Walmart" and you'll get what I mean. lol

 

Beyond that radius, they start to look more appealing.

[telemakus]

Where I live and within 10 to 15 miles of where I live? A good 90% undate-able. Of course, I live in an area where most women are the size of a dump truck and if they aren't big, they look like a truck stop hooker that smoke a carton of Marlboros a day.

 

Just go to "People of Walmart" and you'll get what I mean. lol

 

Beyond that radius, they start to look more appealing.

 

Beyond the radius of a dump truck?

[Cookiesandough]

I don't wanna talk about it lol

[amaysngrace]

Where I live and within 10 to 15 miles of where I live? A good 90% undate-able. Of course, I live in an area where most women are the size of a dump truck and if they aren't big, they look like a truck stop hooker that smoke a carton of Marlboros a day.

 

Just go to "People of Walmart" and you'll get what I mean. lol

 

Beyond that radius, they start to look more appealing.

 

I ran into Walmart just today to see if they had any more of the Tazo tea I love that only they carry and there was a total inbred family in there so I know exactly what you're saying. It's like they're walking and talking and breathing but nobody's home.

[redbaron007]

For me, relatively newly single, early 40's, I find myself gravitating to the 5% who literally turn heads in Whole Foods or Starbucks - tall, fit, beautiful figure, long hair, sharp features. I don't do bars, so all my approaches have been in broad daylight while sober and when there are a ton of people around. I know these are top 5% on any guy's attraction list, because <1> I see men ogling at them from the moment they walk into the store/cafe, and <2> when I speak with these women, I often notice men trying to eavesdrop on our conversations. Once, a fully empty isle was full of men looking for dry pasta within minutes of me starting to chat with one of these women, so funny!

 

Then there are many who are pleasantly attractive but not stunning, maybe 10%...but I just don't have the motivation to approach them cold...the head-turners are the ones that I feel I just have to get to know more...shallow, I know..at least I'm honest...

 

So I guess I would date 15% of women out there...and that's fine with me. I've always been picky and never regretted it.

[Mysterio]

I think we should all do an experiment. Just based on looks. Sunday to Sunday this week. How many men and women. or if your gay just adjust to the situation. How many people we would just date on looks alone.

[CptInsano]

I think we should all do an experiment. Just based on looks. Sunday to Sunday this week. How many men and women. or if your gay just adjust to the situation. How many people we would just date on looks alone.

 

The last time I wanted to date somebody based on looks alone I was 14. It obviously didn't work out, and I moved on since then. (She was only interested in my math homework, anyhow.)

 

In today's world I would date nobody on looks alone.

[GemmaUK]

The last time I wanted to date somebody based on looks alone I was 14. It obviously didn't work out, and I moved on since then. (She was only interested in my math homework, anyhow.)

 

In today's world I would date nobody on looks alone.

 

Ditto.

 

I'm attracted to average looks so this would open my %age pretty wide.

 

Trouble is that with what I have learned I could not date all those I may be physically attracted to.

So far I have found that the better looking out of the average types have been nicer people - but it takes longer to discover a personality.

[Mysterio]

What is this constant tug a war of looks and personalty. You have a certain look. You have a personality. I find this confusing sometimes.

 

Everyone has a past and it dictates how one will be. With my past. Looking at my looks. You would think that my love life has been easy. I am happy and smiling in my school pics from the past and other pictures that I currently take.

 

There are other patterns that I see from my friends that have had it hard or easy. All my guy friends that stayed home till they met their wives. Had it easy. The woman just dropped in their lives. My Male friends that left home before they met their wives. They have had it rough to this day. I can't put my finger on why the big difference. As hard as it is to believe. I can't imagine me being the driving force towards a woman and it working out better than I would have thought it would.

 

In reality. I feel like I have had a very rough love life. I would not wish it anyone. I don't get much love and affection. My pattern since 1989 has been this. I am just stating this as love and affection in terms of physical affection.

 

1989-PM. 1990-TM 1995-CS 1997-DS 2000-TM 2003-JO/NF. 2006-J 2012-DD. 2013-AK.

 

Those are all the women I have been with physically. All White and one Black. all born in the 70's like me. Except for AK who was born in 1981.

I have gone out with other women inbetween. Those were the ones where there was physical affection. I did not have to really work it hard with them.

 

I feel like its really like I am on a different frequncey than most women that I am around.

 

They come off to me as very self centered and have this major entitlement to their personality. In my mind. I am very reasonable. I don't expect love and affection off the bat. Just interesting conversations and laughs over a meal and keep reapeating it once a week and then twice and up to three times a week until we are a couple.

 

As I have said before. Seems like the women that like me. I have a better time with, than when I make the selection. So I will have a love match better suited to me. When I stop making all the major moves and let a woman come to me more.

[spiderowl]

Appearance-wise, I would not date 95%. Personality-wise, I could not date 98%. It doesn't leave many, which is why I am on my own.

[GemmaUK]

As I have said before. Seems like the women that like me. I have a better time with, than when I make the selection. So I will have a love match better suited to me. When I stop making all the major moves and let a woman come to me more.

 

Well yeah, that is how it works with dating - this is why you go out, keep your eyes open and look for who is giving you signals of interest.

It's how it has worked for eons!

[Silverstring]

Appearance-wise, I would not date 95%. Personality-wise, I could not date 98%. It doesn't leave many, which is why I am on my own.

 

This means you're attracted to 0.1% of the male population. And then consider that about 80% of adults are already in a relationship, and that lowers the amount of men you would date to .02%. So 1 out of every 5000 men. And then consider that he had to like you back...yup definitely why you're single and likely always will be...

[Cookiesandough]

This means you're attracted to 0.1% of the male population. And then consider that about 80% of adults are already in a relationship, and that lowers the amount of men you would date to .02%. So 1 out of every 5000 men. And then consider that he had to like you back...yup definitely why you're single and likely always will be...

 

 

And that's still preferable to being with that other 99.98% dam

Edited April 2, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[curiouslysearching]

And that's still preferable to being with that other 99.98% dam

 

don't settle Cookie....

[Cookiesandough]

I guess that's 19.9% and naw never <3 thanks curious. You neither !

[BettyDraper]

I hope that everyone who is very picky is practically perfect.

A family member has Jerry Seinfeld level of pickiness and now he's unhappy about being single at 50. Now he has many regrets because he feels that he could have worked out the issues he had with some decent women.

 

As for me, if I was single I'd say that I could date 35% of men on looks alone and 25% based on personality and appearance. There are lots of unintelligent, rude and selfish men out there. I gave up on meeting a decent guy at a tender age because I was so jaded.

[Cookiesandough]

No, it's 99.9 % she's not attracted to. No way spiderowl knows which 80% are off the market. Lol. Sorry I'm sorry sleepy. You stay sleepy those standards strong, girl

Edited April 2, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[TheTraveler]

Appearance-wise, I would not date 95%. Personality-wise, I could not date 98%. It doesn't leave many, which is why I am on my own.

 

Good luck finding that unicorn because you've essentially deleted all men.

 

[spiderowl]

This means you're attracted to 0.1% of the male population. And then consider that about 80% of adults are already in a relationship, and that lowers the amount of men you would date to .02%. So 1 out of every 5000 men. And then consider that he had to like you back...yup definitely why you're single and likely always will be...

 

I know, don't see what I can do about it

[CryForNoOne]

I know, don't see what I can do about it

 

Just curious, the 1 man in 1000 that has the attributes that you are looking for, are these attributes that most/all women like? Ex. If I were eliminating 999 out of 1000 women based on looks and brains, I'd basically need to meet an Ivy League grad who could be a model. So unless I have some in with Natalie Portman or Mira Sorvino types (both Harvard alum), I'm going to miserable...

[Silverstring]

I know, don't see what I can do about it

 

I think maybe some introspection as to why you don't find almost any man appealing (assuming you're heterosexual). This falls way outside any attraction preferences for almost everybody on the planet. We are pretty much designed to mate and have babies (whether or you're interested in children or not), so attraction to the opposite sex is natural. You're preferences are not.

 

I think looking at yourself as to why this might be could be helpful. For example, did you see your dad as being "perfect" so not nothing less than your perception will do? Or maybe the opposite, you didn't have a positive male role model so you used the media to create your ideal mate (Disney princes, romantic comedies etc.)? Or maybe you've been so hurt in previous relationships, holding out for "perfect" is a defense mechanism? Or maybe you're self worth is dependent on a very attractive man choosing you?

 

Or maybe something else I haven't thought of. Of course very possible that you're asexual as well. The percentage of people that are asexual almost definitely is higher than the percentage of people that you're attracted to, so based on that, being asexual is a much more likely possibility.