raspberry_dazzles Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Hi. I am an indian woman involved with a man who wasn't married at the time we met. But since i was a single mum with a 1 year old. and not in the condition to marry. He later pursued marriage. I stopped being in touch with him.Since i don't believe in loving a married man. But he was quite persistent... sending me his naked pictures even on his honeymoon days... Its been 4 years now since we know each other. I am not liking the idea of him buying a new home.. thinking of having a kid via ivf. since apparently his wife does not enjoy sex. Knowing my partner he can have sex upto 3 to 4 times when we meet. Makes me wonder how would they not be having sex. He tries his best to convince me that they have never had sex, though he has tried and his wife has said she is not interested in sex at all. that he has married for his parents and so he cant devastated them. He makes plans to be with me forever. meets me every second weekend. We live in different cities. 3 hours away. We have a very good sexual emotional relationship. the moment he felt that i am getting close to another man. He blurted the word relationship. Since then we communicate a lot more. we have come more closer as lovers. we have introduced each other to our few friends. and also indulged in holidaying together. No doubt i am very happy with him. But i cannot digest the fact that a woman who is married to him doesn't want to have sex. And he being such a sexual person doesn't mind that. Pls guide me. Could it really be true that woman dont enjoy sex at all right from the start of their sexual life? I do want to consider moving out of this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Telemachus Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Of course it's absolutely possible. Not only that, it does occur. Just because he enjoys preparing or eating a certain food, you would expect her to enjoy eating that same food? We all have different likes and dislikes, and some men and women do not enjoy or want to engage in sexual contact. Sometimes one likes it and one does not. The Kama Sutra identified ways to optimize achievable harmony when the couple have very different sex drives. It is especially common in arranged marriages, as it was 2,000 years ago as well. You are the mistress of a married man. What's the future in that? Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy2013 Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Could be true, but only he knows that truth. Most of them say that. My MM swore and still swears to this day his wife didn't like sex and flat out told him nothing she could do about it, so they don't have it. But, only he knows if he's telling the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 He's using you while he is working on building a life with his wife. You deserve better. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Possible that they don't have sex. Likely, they have had sex. Could be a lottle, could be a lot. If he is a highly sexual person, do you think he would continue to be married to a woman who doesn't give him sex AT ALL? And the IVF... is he giving you the line that they want to have a baby but because she doesn't want to have sex, they are doing IVF? Because otherwise, they would have to have been having sex to know that they needed fertility treatments. Bottom line... in this case.... dude is straight lying to you. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
curiouslysearching Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 The stars do not align on this one.....do not be a pawn in a twisted triangle 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EmilyJane Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 The stars do not align on this one.....do not be a pawn in a twisted triangle He is totally lying. This is what every married guy says and it's like never true. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Anything is possible, but I really don't believe it. He and her are planning to have a family, so he has to come up with how that baby comes into the world in the absence of sexual intercourse. It's absolute nonsense. ..and what do you really make of a man sending naked pics on his honeymoon. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 And the IVF... is he giving you the line that they want to have a baby but because she doesn't want to have sex, they are doing IVF? Because otherwise, they would have to have been having sex to know that they needed fertility treatments. technically, there are many conditions a woman can have where she might know her fertility is damaged even without them having sex. But is it likely? Just like with the whole married and no sex thing in the first place. Yes, it happens. I've seen people post for help on other forums because their spouse insisted no sex until marriage and then once they got married, wasn't willing to do it then either, so they never had it even once. It happens, but is it likely? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Even among women who really can't stand having sex, I'd reckon 98%+ of them will go through with it enough to conceive a wanted child. So I agree that the "IVF needed to beget child in face of total chastity in marriage" story is highly likely to be a fabrication. Of course you can never really be absolutely sure.....unless you had a 24/7 cam on the CMM and his BS. This key important factor in your life is forever beyond your ken. Like so many OW in an A, you're hanging your heart on an unknowable fact of other people's bedroom life. :( Annndddddd....it doesn't really matter that they have sex. Once you know he's married and staying married, that's all you need to know. And if you feel you need a cherry on top of that sloppy sundae, the claim by CMM that the two of them are (supposedly) spending $$$$$ to further build out their family via a complex and risky medical procedure ought to be it. Again, whether it's true or not, the mere claim by CMM is a fact. If i were you, I'd write up a big, bold, bulleted list of all the FACTS about your relations with CMM and post them on your wall, to be studied daily. Good luck. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 He is probably spinning you a story. Why would be stay with his wife if she never had sex? He might stay for traditional/cultural reasons I guess, but he seems happy to break tradition and be unfaithful with you. You are in an affair. However emotional/sexual it is and however much he loves you, he is married to someone else and appears to be planning to stay with her. Is this enough for you? Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 OP, Just so you are aware, IVF is extremely expensive and most docs would strongly urge a couple to explore natural conception first as the treatment itself involves hormone manipulation. Most are cases when a woman who is single simply desires a baby and does IVF and/or a couple cannot conceive naturally. For married couples, IVF is traditionally a treatment of last resort. I think this guy is lying straight through his teeth on this one... it is so far out there. Is it possible? Sure. But highly, highly unlikely. He needs a built-in explanation for when his wife gets pregnant naturally. Please run as far and fast as you can. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lostgirl87 Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 I definitely think it's possible. My MM hasn't had sex with his wife in over a year. Since their first anniversary vacation and coincidentally when he and I started our affair. We didn't have sex until 5-6 months later. Most recently when I doubted he was telling me the truth, he showed me texts where she had mentioned how long it had been. I don't know about "never" but definitely possible that it has been a very long time and/or they don't enjoy a sex life with each other for whatever reason. Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 How often are you hearing lies from this guy? About other things I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 I definitely think it's possible. My MM hasn't had sex with his wife in over a year. Since their first anniversary vacation and coincidentally when he and I started our affair. We didn't have sex until 5-6 months later. Most recently when I doubted he was telling me the truth, he showed me texts where she had mentioned how long it had been. I don't know about "never" but definitely possible that it has been a very long time and/or they don't enjoy a sex life with each other for whatever reason. His wife's text specifically said, "We haven't had sex in over a year?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lostgirl87 Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 His wife's text specifically said, "We haven't had sex in over a year?" Well kind off. She started by asking if he was happy. Then it moved on to "you've become indifferent. You don't show me any affection. We haven't even had sex in months". This was in the fall I believe. According to him, they still haven't. No way of knowing for sure I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Well kind off. She started by asking if he was happy. Then it moved on to "you've become indifferent. You don't show me any affection. We haven't even had sex in months". This was in the fall I believe. According to him, they still haven't. No way of knowing for sure I guess. Did he pull away from her before or after starting an emotional affair? Link to post Share on other sites
lostgirl87 Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Did he pull away from her before or after starting an emotional affair? According to him, things had started going south before. But he admits that things are worse now. I asked if it was b/c he met me and he said part of it was but that they have their own issues from before we even met. He says she is also uninterested so they're more like roommates. But there's still love even though he's not in love. Who knows really though. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 He's using you while he is working on building a life with his wife. You deserve better. ^^^ This. What he's telling you is a load of nonsense. It's not relevant if his wife has sex with elephants. He stays married to her. You're wasting your time on this guy, and going against all your basic principles. Tell me when that has ever worked out well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts