Someone is stalking & harassing me but husband offers no support

[jamieoak]

Hi,

 

I just stumbled across this wonderful community and created a profile as I am in a bit of a situation here. Someone is harassing and cyberstalking me. This guy is a business owner about whom I wrote a bad yelp review after my terrible experience with his business & he is doing everything in his power to threaten, stalk and harass me.

 

His harassment is going on for two weeks. But in these two weeks, not once has my husband offered any support or even stood up for me. I am a strong and principled woman and I treat others with utmost respect and exactly the way I want to be treated, so the cyberstalking on every social media avenue by this business bothers me. The business owner has also gone on to create fake profiles in online in my name and I have to painstakingly get them removed.

 

My husband and I have been married 4 years now and this is a bit of a shock to me that he is pretending like none of this exists and is blind to what I am going through, offering no support. I am here to look for some support as I deal with this harassing stalker & would very much appreciate any words helping to keep my strength and sanity intact. Thank you

[DDTA]

You should Google for local attorneys that have expertise in cyber related law. There isn't much detail you provided about your relationship situation but takibg a WAG myself, maybe your husband just doesn't know how to deal with the cyberstalking situation. We men tend to be "fixers" as our initial response to our partners distress calls. We also tend to clam up and shrug our shoulders if we really dont know how to fix the issue, and then we are reluctant to admit we don't know anything about hot fix it.

[stillafool]

Go to the police. No one here can protect you.

[kgcolonel]

Sometimes, as a man, we can be a bit dense. Tell your husband explicitly what you need him to do. i.e. I need you to go with me to the police to report this cyberstalking issue, for example....we're simple creatures and don't understand the needs of our female mates many times. We tend to be more logical in thinking as opposed to feelings driven. I am not defending his inactions but trying to help with the communication with your H.

[Mr. Lucky]

This guy is a business owner about whom I wrote a bad yelp review after my terrible experience with his business & he is doing everything in his power to threaten, stalk and harass me.

 

Can you explain in more detail what you think he's doing and how you know he's responsible for the harassment?

 

Mr. Lucky

[jenkins95]

Jamie that's tough. Cyberbullying is a real and growing problem - i even wrote about it in a Facebook context in another thread yesterday.

 

You are amongst friends here and will get support. kgcolonel is right, we guys sometimes need it spelling out. Maybe your H doesn't think it's much of a big deal or that it will blow over (which hopefully it will - that jerk will hopefully lose interest soon), but you probably need to let your H know just how much it's upsetting you. I think the two of you should go together to the police about this.

 

We are here for you - keep posting.

[camillalev]

Sometimes, as a man, we can be a bit dense. Tell your husband explicitly what you need him to do. i.e. I need you to go with me to the police to report this cyberstalking issue, for example....we're simple creatures and don't understand the needs of our female mates many times. We tend to be more logical in thinking as opposed to feelings driven. I am not defending his inactions but trying to help with the communication with your H.

 

You need to have a talk with your husband and let him know how this mans actions are impacting you. This man is stalking, harassing and attempting to intimidate you. Does your husband know the extent of this persons actions? This is NOT ok and honestly its shocking that he's pretending it doesnt exist instead of looking into what he can do about it, speaking to authorities or at least trying to make you feel better. I don't know a single man that would sit around idly while his wife is actively stalked and harassed. However, I know there are men out there that try to downplay stalking/harassment of women because "it's not like they're trying to physically harm you".

 

And for the quote above, men don't "tend to be more logical as opposed to feelings driven" as though women lack logic or don't use it in their thinking. Being impacted by stalking, threats, harassment, and intimidation tactics has nothing to do with gender or being "logic/feelings driven". There are men that have been stalked and harassed and it can and does effect them as much as it does anyone else.

Edited March 31, 2017 by camillalev

[harrybrown]

Be sure to keep evidence of what he is doing.

 

so when the time comes, he can pay for his crimes.

 

Hope your H wakes up.

 

sometimes my wife mentions a problem, and i start to try to figure out how to fix it. She tells me she wants me to listen to her and not always try to figure out how to fix it.

 

 

maybe this is what he is thinking, but with your communication skills make sure he knows what action you expect.

 

Hope the creep goes away.

[Jersey born raised]

OR. He could believe by stepping up he would be slammed for disrespecting you. Your an adult, right?

 

So tell him what you need. Then get MC. Yes MC.

[grays]

Not sure how to deal w the husband prob, but Im wondering if youve contacted yelp for help w this. I would think theyd have an interest in protecting you or at least have dealt w this before.