Author Jezebel4 Posted April 3, 2017 Author Share Posted April 3, 2017 That is a statement most people would assume about most couples. Not me talking as though I truly know their situation. I helped him neglect his children. You are certifiable Link to post Share on other sites
Curdie Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Keep denying your involvement with his behavior after homecoming and trying to redirect to me if you like. It's no skin off my back if some internet stranger insults me. I'm not the one who has to live with the fact that I for some reason deemed my fantasy more important than a child's welfare. And yes, you participated in the neglect. By not helping his kids readjust he emotionally neglected his children. Those first few months after homecoming often mean the difference between a well adjusted child and a child with abandonment issues. You encouraged him to do this by participating in the escapism and the fantasy. If you were encouraging him to neglect his kids for say, video games instead of an affair it would be no different. At best you were an enabler. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Wow... lot of contention here. Jez, you came here asking if you should continue the relationship with this guy. Despite all the other side talk... has anyone responded saying you should? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jezebel4 Posted April 3, 2017 Author Share Posted April 3, 2017 (edited) Hi NTV, I know it looks like I'm being nasty and defensive in a thread I started, but this poster takes a very know it all tone in every thread. Other posters have encouraged me to forget about MM, which I knew anyway. MM made a clear decision, and I think assuming he will NEVER be available is the only way to proceed. I would just like support during my NC Edited April 3, 2017 by Jezebel4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 jezebel - remember that a lot of posters on LS are carrying serious pain from their own relationship woes, and sometimes they project like crazy. Especially in the OW/OM forum, anyone who admits to any sort of relationship is going to get jumped on a bit, no matter what the circumstances are. I think it's probably better to ignore the people who aren't helpful to you rather than to try and argue with them. Unless the distraction of arguing is helping you to keep your NC! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Hi NTV, I know it looks like I'm being nasty and defensive in a thread I started, but this poster takes a very know it all tone in every thread. Other posters have encouraged me to forget about MM, which I knew anyway. MM made a clear decision, and I think assuming he will NEVER be available is the only way to proceed. I would just like support during my NC No worries. The adage here is take what you can use and forget the rest Do you journal? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Well if you want to use the same rationale used by people who fail to report domestic and child abuse, then be my guest. "It's not my job to make sure that child isn't beaten" will never sound like a solid moral position though. And blaming the wife for wanting to leave her irresponsible, philandering husband is beyond asinine. The mm could still have prioritized his children even if the couple were separated. He chose not to. Op decided to condone that choice by spending time with him that could and should have been spent with his children.That's a terrible analogy. You can't relate child abuse to this situation. Jezebel didn't harm the children. She's also not responsible for the wife. Look, it's against my morals to interfere in other people's marriages but Jezebel didn't do that. She held the guy off until the wife shut down the marriage. Now what she sees in the guy, who knows and I hope she walks away from this guy since he does come across as a loser but to put the responsibility of the wife and children onto her, isn't rational. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jezebel4 Posted April 4, 2017 Author Share Posted April 4, 2017 I love to write, I should journal. I am doing pretty well for the time being. I have requested NC with MM. He goes a few days doing it, then starts talking again. I wrote a really nice note that I will text next time he texts me , and then I'm blocking him. He lives across the country, so won't run into him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 NC means blocking all communication. How come he's not blocked? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jezebel4 Posted April 4, 2017 Author Share Posted April 4, 2017 NC means blocking all communication. How come he's not blocked? One thing I've always appreciated about him, is that he doesn't ignore, avoid or ghost. It is so hurtful to try to engage someone and get silence back. So instead of immediately blocking MM, I thought i should text that I would not be talking to him in the future, then block Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jezebel4 Posted April 7, 2017 Author Share Posted April 7, 2017 No contact is going very well! I sent a very nice text explaining that I had to stop communication for my well being, wished him well, and blocked. No urge to reach out or unblock. We cannot always build a relationship just because we love someone. Sucks. But not the end of the world 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 No contact is going very well! I sent a very nice text explaining that I had to stop communication for my well being, wished him well, and blocked. No urge to reach out or unblock. We cannot always build a relationship just because we love someone. Sucks. But not the end of the world Glad to hear it! Wtg!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lukekiwi Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 hello i was wondering if someone could please e-mail me a copy of the e-book? My e-mail address is: [email protected] i really like to go through it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jezebel4 Posted April 15, 2017 Author Share Posted April 15, 2017 MM emailed me that his three year old was playing with his phone looking at pics... found one of me nude. My face wasn't in the pic so hopefully his son assumed the pic was Mommy. MM sent me like 15 pics. Many that I didn't take. Maybe a week later sent 20 pics that are screenshots. Some naked in my house when I would Skype on my laptop, some fully clothed Skyping from my phone... I told a former boyfriend turned platonic friend... he thought it was bizarre. Why send me the pics? Just delete them Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 This is concerning. Seems like he is sending you a message. Link to post Share on other sites
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