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Always going to be triggers


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PhillyLibertyBelle

It sound like from your last post the emotional pros outweigh the cons. I was responding to the void emotions you were writing about in your opening post.

 

Just for the record there are many, many women in their 40's and 50's who are wonderful women, exciting, vibrant, attractive and affluent who would love a man with your qualities and give you the companionship that you deserve. Not finding an amazing quality woman wouldn't be difficult.

 

I do understand that you have a wonderful community that you are a part of.

 

Wishing all good things for you.

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I can vouch for everything you posted about to dichotomy. And about all of the things he and others trigger about.

 

While I was able to get over a lot with Ex, affairs, drug addiction, and what ever else, the finial straw was far worse than any of those.

 

The final straw was the she never respected me or really loved me. If she ever did, she is literally the worst person in the world at showing it. And as bad of a person as I became from all of that abuse as deb puts it, and before I turned into that guy, I was honestly just super husband, super dad, duper provider, and none of it mattered.

 

Some people will never ever appreciate or understand what they have unless they lose it. She never did and I am not sure she ever will. She told me the other day that she is having a great life. Good for her. I wanted to say, "That is not really that hard when someone else is paying for it", but it would have done no good. One day I hope she realizes what she lost, but it does not dictate my happiness one way or another.

 

Getting her out of my life, is literally the best thing I have ever done.

 

dichotomy, I understand where you and some of the others are coming from, and that is your decision, it is your life. I could not continue to live that life for another minute, that was my decision.

 

And yes to dichotomy and the others, the 40 year old was wonderful, stunning, amazingly brilliant, strong yet venerable, just basically, beautiful in every way. She totally has my head spinning right now. She is apparently already in love with me, because she has had her eye on me for a while. While I find that a little weird, I am basically just going for it.

 

So life is not perfect on the outside either, it's great for me, but it has it's own set of wonderful challenges.

 

But for me, I would gladly trade the "issues" that I have now for the pain of my marriage...

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It's clear that you're not happy with the status quo. My fear is that you'll be back here in a year with exactly the same feelings, still hoping that some therapy might reignite her sexual interest in you. Then what? Another year goes by with no improvement?

 

I think it's time to shake things up. My father got remarried at 52. Truth be told, he had attractive women beating down his door. Helps that he was a doctor and reasonably good-looking. But I expect you'd attract a lot more interest than you think, especially with your status around the community.

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Does your WW not see this happening?

What is her response?

 

She has her own problems with depression that only she can fix. I won't be a hostage to her emotional issues and that pretty much means I live my own life. We take a get-away with our grandson to a ocean resort for a couple days every couple months & her and I go to Vegas 2 or 3 times a year. This is pretty much all we do together other than day-to-day family life. We are doing the best we can to make a home and provide love & security for our grandson.

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