Breakup of 3 years

[Emica456]

Me and my ex have been together for almost 3 years. I'm 21 and and he is 32. We have had a very on and off relationship since the beginning. It went really great for a long time but now he has broken up with me everytime something goes wrong. I am always the one trying to reconcile and make the relationship work. I have put so much effort into being together and hanging out, iniatining conversations, and making plans. It used to be the exact opposite and I wanted to make excuses and he would be dying to hangout or see me. But over time after I gave in to him and he knew I was his he seemed to never have much time for me and ignores me very often.

 

Our latest breakup happened one week ago due to him avoiding me and making me feel insecure. It was a very heated fight and definitely the worst we have had in our entire relationship. He broke up with me saying that he loves me so much, wants to be together again down the road and he can't see himself with anybody else for the rest of his life. But that I need to get my **** together before we can try again. I am so confused and hurt. I don't know what to do.

 

We have talked a few times over the past week but it hasn't made anything better. Last night I wrote him a long message about even if I changed into the person he would like me to be I doubt he would treat me better if we did work things out. He basically blew it off.

 

tl;dr Need advice? Should I just give up and move on and stop trying to make contact? Should I actually try to change who I am with the hopes that we can work out in the future? I appreciate any comments thank you.

[Telemachus]

Wanting or expecting you to change is his mistake. Leave him alone and hold out for a future relationship with someone who values and cherishes who you are now.

 

Regarding your comment that he made you feel insecure, that probably isn't true. Feelings like this come from within, and insecurity is a feeling only you can choose to embrace or reject - no one can make you feel it, except for you.

 

If you want to change, change for yourself, not for him. We should all change, making ourselves into better people and making the world a better place. Just do that.

[NEB01]

The age range really scares me here. He should be settling down starting a family and you should be out having the time of your life meeting new people.