Jedfont Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Hello everyone, My name is Jed. I'm a junior at a prestigious university in the United States. Growing up, I was very focused on my academics. It was not until the beginning of my 9th grade year when I started making true friends. After I realized how much I loved to socialize, I regretted not doing so earlier (I was the awkward quiet kid who always carried a bag of books around). I quickly developed relationships with everyone, became the student council president, and team captain of my schools sports team. Then came graduation. I never found someone of the opposite sex that I truly always wanted to be around until the week before my graduation. At my graduation rehearsal I met a gal who I really enjoyed talking with. We shared similar interests and career goals, but after graduation we lost all contact. It was short and sweet, but over. The story begins here: Three years have passed. I was never interested in anyone else over the last three years until I met this young woman a month ago. When I'm with her I never want our time together to end. I know her general likes and dislikes, but I don't know her life story or deepest desires (since it's only been a month). I try to "accidentally" find her a couple of times a week, but don't want to be viewed as a creep. The problem this time is correlative to my last; she's graduating in 1.5 months and moving out of state. I want to pursue the relationship but haven't told her I am interested yet. We've only talked five full conversations. What should I do? Should I outright tell her? Her birthday is around the corner so I got her a nice gift, but is that enough to show her my intentions? She's not the most outspoken person and I don't know how she feels. Let me know what I should do because I'm truly clueless right now. Ah, the fragile state of relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Talking is not the same as dating. So have you dated this woman yet? Because she talks with you does not mean she sees you as BF material. Time to ask her out on a real date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 You need to ask her out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Ask her on a date. That is step one. Once you do that, come back & tell us how that went. We'll get to step 2 then. Think about it this way: You take the final exam at the end of the semester, not the beginning. First you have to register for the class, then buy the text book. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 No gift! You aren't dating her yet. You are trying to do things backwards. First, ask her on a date and see if she accepts. Stop lurking around. Women see right through that. It's a survival technique. Lurking sets off red flags in women, so don't do it! Text her or walk up and ask her out. Pull the Bandaid off. She will either go or she won't. No gifts anytime soon. It's too needy and it places unfair obligation on a virtual stranger. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 You are enrolled at a prestigious university and are here asking questions like this? I'm thinking that you are not a psych major... Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 She's moving out of state in 1.5 months. It's entirely possible she may not be interested in a long distance thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jedfont Posted April 12, 2017 Author Share Posted April 12, 2017 So, I inexplicitly told her I liked her. I gave her the gift and she loved it. She was really happy. But after figuring that I liked her, she was not as open to hanging out. She became more animated (like she felt more comfortable around me) but didn't really want to talk as much as she did before. I stopped lurking and pulled back a bit to see if she acts differently when I'm not around her much. It doesn't seem she is interested in a long distance relationship, but I will make sure she knows I like her before she leaves. She's a shy person though, so IDK. No, I am not a psych major, haha. I'm into natural science - quite the opposite in terms of understanding people. Agh. I've had young women flirt with me; I've turned down several girls, but when I actually like one of them they're not interested. Maybe I'm just meant to be that bachelor. On the bright side, I can travel with less baggage. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Buying a gift is not ask for a date. Dating for the time left could of motivated her to stay or you to move with her. You are doing nothing but living in denial. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 The gift was odd. It was outside social norms & gave her the impression that you were desperate. Hence, she was uninterested. Sorry it didn't turn out the way you hoped but we did warn you. Glad you see it as less baggage. Hopefully you learn from this mistake for the next girl. Best wishes Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Agh. I've had young women flirt with me; I've turned down several girls, but when I actually like one of them they're not interested. Maybe I'm just meant to be that bachelor. On the bright side, I can travel with less baggage. When one of these girls flirts with you ask them out. And no gifts!!! Don't go for a relationship right out of the gate. Try some causal hookups to get some ground game. You are just a bit late to the party but don't worry about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts