benpom Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 (edited) We were playing a truth or drink game and it was kind of my fault for asking but I was just so curious and he told me that 2 of his exs were prettier than me and 3 had a better body than me but that he has the best connection with me and likes my personality the most of all of them. I know I should find security in that he is happiest with me but the truth is, all his exs broke up with him first and he said he wouldnt have broken up with them. So really the only reason we are together now is because they didn't like him enough not because he didnt like them. I feel hurt because even though I shouldnt have asked if I cant handle the truth, I feel insecure because he is my first ever bf and I have no one to compare him to so i think he is the greatest thing that ever happened to me but he has had an extensive relationship history and can make comparisons like that You have some insecurity. It's not a bad thing. Everyone does. People who truly love you will respect your insecurity, and will not play with your insecurity. He does not love you the way you want to be loved. That's the key problem. Even if you did not ask, the fact is still there -- he does not love you the way you want to be loved. You did not do anything wrong by asking the question. He is just not the one you hoped he was. You know this, but you don't feel secure enough to give up on him and go out to look for a better man. That's what I am concerned about. Be ware of certain honest people. Honesty is good, but some people abuse honesty and become inconsiderate about unkind words. Honesty is not a pass to disclose unnecessary information. There is always the choice of silence. Edited April 10, 2017 by benpom Link to post Share on other sites
xXMarlboro_ManXx Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 You have some insecurity. It's not a bad thing. Everyone does. People who truly love you will respect your insecurity, and will not play with your insecurity. He does not love you the way you want to be loved. That's the key problem. Even if you did not ask, the fact is still there -- he does not love you the way you want to be loved. You did not do anything wrong by asking the question. He is just not the one you hoped he was. You know this, but you don't feel secure enough to give up on him and go out to look for a better man. That's what I am concerned about. Be ware of certain honest people. Honesty is good, but some people abuse honesty and become inconsiderate about unkind words. Honesty is not a pass to disclose unnecessary information. There is always the choice of silence. What is he supposed to do plead the 5th and leave the stand? Refusing to answer is the same as saying she isn't the prettiest. He was put in to a no win situation and he lost, I think you are reading way too much into this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
benpom Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 What is he supposed to do plead the 5th and leave the stand? Refusing to answer is the same as saying she isn't the prettiest. He was put in to a no win situation and he lost, I think you are reading way too much into this. People can tell truth in a considerate way or an inconsiderate way. The difference is whether he cares about how she feels or not. The care, is essentially what makes or breaks a relationship. He is in a no win situation, because he does not love her the way she wants to be loved. The truth will show eventually even if this questions was never asked. It's not about to lie or not. It's about whether he is right for her or not. Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 What is he supposed to do plead the 5th and leave the stand? Refusing to answer is the same as saying she isn't the prettiest. He was put in to a no win situation and he lost, I think you are reading way too much into this. I agree. Cmon. Link to post Share on other sites
Jason Van Jason Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 Ouch. Your first bf too honey. ... when handling a shotgun, mind the recoil. Link to post Share on other sites
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