Is it me?

[lls]

I am biased on my situation because I can only see things from my perspective. I don't know if it is me, or if it is him.

 

I've been dating BB for over 2.5 years. We met in college and I graduated one year before he did. When we were

 

together, things may have gotten hectic and upsetting at times, but the situation was generally wonderful. Our

 

arguments stemmed from the amount of time he was devoting to me. However, after moving away from him, I realized that I was asking a bit more than he could handle. I regret that I asked so much in college, but I believe I have learned a lot and have moved on from there.

 

But now, things are worse. I live 2,000 miles away from him. In the past year, I have visited him 3 times. He has

 

come out here not even once. Neither of us can afford the phone bills, so we must rely on other forms of communication. His email is not functioning to his liking, so I get very few emails. What I don't understand is why he

 

cannot write me an actual letter. He is so stubborn and so unwilling to go one step out of his way to make someone

 

happy. I will do anything for him. I go incredibly out of my way to let him know how much I love him. I assume if he really loved me and really wanted to, he'd do the same. I suppose I can't go into a relationship asking for something in return. But all I feel right now is unloved, unneeded, and unappreciated. He says that's not the case and that he just doesn't have the time. If he doesn't have the time right now (over summer break), how is he going to have the time when he starts med school in the fall?

 

I see this relationship as being doomed. He says not to go into it that way. I agree that my attitude is negative. But

 

every day I feel more and more let down.

 

I love him very much. I will do --and have done-- everything for him.

 

I would think in a long distance relationship that one would want to do everything possible from so far away to make the other remain in love with him/her. I guess not.

 

Any advice?

 

Tearfully,

 

LLS

[Sophia]

Some guys are just lazy. They don't feel like writing letters because they do not know what to say. Some people are letter writers. Others are not. You should know in your heart whether or not he truly wants to make your relationship work. There may be more than just physical signs, such as a lack of letters. Think about his entire attitude towards you all together. Everything combined.

I am biased on my situation because I can only see things from my perspective. I don't know if it is me, or if it is him. I've been dating BB for over 2.5 years. We met in college and I graduated one year before he did. When we were together, things may have gotten hectic and upsetting at times, but the situation was generally wonderful. Our arguments stemmed from the amount of time he was devoting to me. However, after moving away from him, I realized that I was asking a bit more than he could handle. I regret that I asked so much in college, but I believe I have learned a lot and have moved on from there. But now, things are worse. I live 2,000 miles away from him. In the past year, I have visited him 3 times. He has come out here not even once. Neither of us can afford the phone bills, so we must rely on other forms of communication. His email is not functioning to his liking, so I get very few emails. What I don't understand is why he cannot write me an actual letter. He is so stubborn and so unwilling to go one step out of his way to make someone happy. I will do anything for him. I go incredibly out of my way to let him know how much I love him. I assume if he really loved me and really wanted to, he'd do the same. I suppose I can't go into a relationship asking for something in return. But all I feel right now is unloved, unneeded, and unappreciated. He says that's not the case and that he just doesn't have the time. If he doesn't have the time right now (over summer break), how is he going to have the time when he starts med school in the fall? I see this relationship as being doomed. He says not to go into it that way. I agree that my attitude is negative. But every day I feel more and more let down.

 

I love him very much. I will do --and have done-- everything for him. I would think in a long distance relationship that one would want to do everything possible from so far away to make the other remain in love with him/her. I guess not. Any advice? Tearfully, LLS