CharmingCharlie Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 (edited) To be completely honest I'm worried.... I did something stupid I can't take back the words I said but it's now out there. Threesome. Yes, I got terribly drunk last night and asked my boyfriend if he'd be interested in a threesome. OF COURSE it's every mans dream or secret wish. I don't understand, I mean I do and I don't. I am somewhat curious and intrigued by the idea but I don't know how I feel about him finding another girl to bring home and just leave it as sex... you know because my feelings are at steak and I have insecurity issues. I also partially asked because I'm selfish and wanted to see if he'd turn it down and all he replied with was "that's up to you." I'm sick of that answer it's like saying it doesn't bother him one way or another but he has no problem doing it. It's either you want me or not I don't understand... I know that asking for a threesome isn't the same as saying do you ONLY want me or no? It's just that I don't like the fact that my moms suspicion that he checks out other girls persists to be a pestering voice in the back of my head and it's annoying. Maybe I'm old fashioned. I am somewhat in with the now but I'm also set back in my ways that it doesn't feel right that the person I'm living with doesn't completely desire JUST ME. Or at least that's how it seams to be unraveling to be... Edited April 5, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs and merge threads Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 This is insecurity talking. And asking him a question like that, and hoping he would say hell no is baiting him. Totally not fair and not a reasonable way to communicate. He didn't say that he always hoped you would ask, or immediately suggest a girl. He respected you and said it's up to you. Being open to a threesome doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. My husband and I toss around the idea and we love each other deeply. You need to work on communicating more clearly, and honestly with your BF. Doing things like this will only cause conflict and increase your insecurity. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 You did a typical girl thing. You gave him a test he didn't know he was taking & now you are upset that in your eyes he failed. That is unfair. Drunk, you threw a tantalizing fantasy at him. You wanted him to turn it down but he didn't know that. When he gave you a diplomatic answer instead, you are now pouting. Honestly, by saying "that's up to you" when you dangled a threesome at him, that man gave you the smartest answer in the world. Kudos to him. Don't get all pissy now because he didn't reassure that of course he didn't want another women. For all he knew you wanted another person in the bedroom & had he said no, you would have dumped him for being boring. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Just tell him you were drunk, which he knows, and you don't want a 3 way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CharmingCharlie Posted April 5, 2017 Author Share Posted April 5, 2017 (edited) [] I have finally discovered the answer I was looking for! Those of you who act coalfield because a piece of paper told you, you where can suck it because I came to the realization that yes I have issues but here is not the place I want to discuss with a bunch of strangers that only comment to judge me [] The reason I have so many issues with my boyfriend is that YES I HAVE TRUST ISSUES HOWEVER HOW DO YOU THINK THOSE ISSUES CULTIVATED!!! for those who read the last post I clearly stated that he said "I'm leaving that up to you". That's not being responsible and fair and deserving of a round of applause NO! He doesn't want the blame for the repercussions afterwords he doesn't want to be blamed if he likes the other partner more than me in the end he needs something to use to blame me LATER!!! So why is it every time I come here to poor my feelings out people immediately jump on the band wagon that I'm a sick person and I need counseling? because ya know what? a counselor drove me back to my abuser in the first place. Edited April 5, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Topical content and member moderated Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Re-read this rant. It's the answer to your Q about why we recommend counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 (edited) Did some cleanup, merged two threads, added some paragraphs and let's keep things civil folks. Thanks! Since the carrot didn't work, out came the stick. Thread closed. Edited April 5, 2017 by William Link to post Share on other sites
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