Am I blind or foolish for dating him

[ItsAllConfusing]

I met this Moroccan man online. He is the sweetest kindest man I've ever met. I'm 30 and he's 27.

 

He compliments me, talks to me and Listens to me. He makes me feel wanted.

 

I've read stories about Moroccan men targeting gullible American women for green cards. I worry whether he really likes me or is just using me.

 

I won't marry him and when I asked him about marriage he seemed startled and said he wants to take things slowly. I agreed.

 

He wants me to visit him and he doesn't seem to have interest in coming to America. I've also asked him what he thought about me moving there. He said he'd love it. He wouldn't mind so his answers make it seem as though he's not using me. Also I've no plans on moving there.

 

Also I don't have money. He knows I'm poor. He's poor too so I don't see what he could get from me.

 

But I notice that he still frequents the site that we met on. The site is not advertised as a dating site but some use it as such. You go there for cultural and language exchange.

 

 

He told his family about me. He says he's serious about me. Yes the distance is great but we text, talk, facetime.

 

I try to see the good in things and my thinking might not be clear. Can you all tell me what you think about my relationship?

[ExpatInItaly]

He night have honest intentions, but I have to question the viability of a relationship. If you don't have the money to travel, and he's expressed no interest in visiting you, I don't see how this would have any future. How do you envision this happening, logistically?

 

Also, as an expat myself, I can tell you that moving abroad is no small feat. You also have to consider the cultural differences - Morocco is predominantly Muslim country. Moving there would likely entail some significant lifestyle changes if you're not Muslim yourself. Is he religious? Is his family?

 

I think you're both getting way ahead of yourselves, to be honest. Don't make any future plans without having met. You are looking at some significant potential obstacles.

[Redhead14]

You aren't dating him. You have a virtual pen pal who may or may not be scamming you. This is a risk/reward situation. The risk far outweighs the remotely possible reward.

 

The likelihood that this is a catfish/scam is significant. Read about catfishing and the countries that have been identified as sources for that -- Nigeria -- in and around the continent of Africa, the Phillipines, etc. You don't know anyone until you've spent actual time with them, observed their habits, where they live and how they conduct themselves and their lives.

 

These people can be very convincing and conniving. Don't set yourself up for disaster. If you send one dime to this guy, you could be faced with criminal/federal charges of funding terrorists and just raising the government's suspicion of that could set you up for a long road of untangling and repairing your life after investigations/questioning, etc.

[Simple Logic]

I met this Moroccan man online. He is the sweetest kindest man I've ever met. I'm 30 and he's 27.

 

He compliments me, talks to me and Listens to me. He makes me feel wanted.

 

I've read stories about Moroccan men targeting gullible American women for green cards. I worry whether he really likes me or is just using me.

 

I won't marry him and when I asked him about marriage he seemed startled and said he wants to take things slowly. I agreed.

 

He wants me to visit him and he doesn't seem to have interest in coming to America. I've also asked him what he thought about me moving there. He said he'd love it. He wouldn't mind so his answers make it seem as though he's not using me. Also I've no plans on moving there.

 

Also I don't have money. He knows I'm poor. He's poor too so I don't see what he could get from me.

 

But I notice that he still frequents the site that we met on. The site is not advertised as a dating site but some use it as such. You go there for cultural and language exchange.

 

 

He told his family about me. He says he's serious about me. Yes the distance is great but we text, talk, facetime.

 

I try to see the good in things and my thinking might not be clear. Can you all tell me what you think about my relationship?

 

Why would someone you think is the sweetest kindest man you ever met need to be chatting with a woman on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean? Surely such a catch is equally desired by women in Morrocco.

 

Morrocco is in Africa. The average weekly wage is less than $60. Comared to his country, you are quite wealthy. He may not appear to want money now, but the request is coming.

[Chilli]

l'd def' be pretty wary .

They know all the right things to say to get you in it's part of their game.

They set up their sh@t with pictures and the works, for their stories, but he could be living in a stick hut or on the streets with no family for all you know.

 

At the same time, maybe or if it is he is legit , you gotta find more ways to suss/test that out to l think if you do wanna go on with it.

But if it is, at the end of the day would you really wanna live there anyway ?

It's gotta be cart before the horse in an LDR , as it has been with mine because right from the start it all comes down to is there any point and future if someone can't or doesn't wanna move , or they love where they live too much to move.

My gf said she'd live under a tree for the right man id she had too and no she ain't desperate she's gorgeous buttttt, we did need to know that something could be done if we go on so at least that sorted that from the start.

13mths later though and things have popped up and could change , so it's back to being the main issue for us now - can someone move.

 

So even if legit you really have to think about that one huge issue first of all before you put too much time into it to start with - the time goes so fast.,

[NTV]

Plenty of single guys in the states. If you're considering this for real it seems like a desperate plan. Better to keep your options open I say. Too big of a gamble.

[ItsAllConfusing]

Why would someone you think is the sweetest kindest man you ever met need to be chatting with a woman on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean? Surely such a catch is equally desired by women in Morrocco.

 

Morrocco is in Africa. The average weekly wage is less than $60. Comared to his country, you are quite wealthy. He may not appear to want money now, but the request is coming.

 

YOU were right! 3 days ago he asked me for money. I was taken aback. 2 days later I questioned him. He have one line responses and then I just ended things. He didn't even really care. We shared a lot and talked everyday even did video messages. I had my doubts in the beginning. I'm staying away from online men outside of the country.

 

Thank you. I didn't send him money either.

[ItsAllConfusing]

He night have honest intentions, but I have to question the viability of a relationship. If you don't have the money to travel, and he's expressed no interest in visiting you, I don't see how this would have any future. How do you envision this happening, logistically?

 

Also, as an expat myself, I can tell you that moving abroad is no small feat. You also have to consider the cultural differences - Morocco is predominantly Muslim country. Moving there would likely entail some significant lifestyle changes if you're not Muslim yourself. Is he religious? Is his family?

 

I think you're both getting way ahead of yourselves, to be honest. Don't make any future plans without having met. You are looking at some significant potential obstacles.

 

It's over. He just wanted sex and money. I had my doubts in the beginning but I started worrying because I could not understand how you could be a Muslim man and not drink and smoke but talk about sex and touch yourself and want dirty photos from me. In the back of my mind I felt like he was seeing what he could get from me while despising me at the same time. He didn't value me.

 

Its so sad that I'm in a position where I have to look all the way across the world for affection.

[Jason Van Jason]

I've been this guy before. Attention; men love it. He's probably got a couple different women on the hook. Honestly, most guys you meet, who are in another country, will.

 

Men are only as loyal as their opportunities and a guy 1000 miles away that has never met you will not hesitate to write you off for some easy pussy.

[HereNorThere]

"Men are only as loyal as their opportunities" is such a fallacy. The only man that would say that is one who doesn't have any options. If the majority of single women he comes in contact with fancy him, "opportunities" aren't really a big deal for a guy. But yeah, I can see where a guy in the desert would take any chance he could for a sip a water. No one likes a thirsty guy.

 

Look OP, you don't HAVE to look overseas for a guy. You're doing that because you have some sort of intimacy issue or your standards are too high. As long as you're reasonable and willing to meet guys who share the same level of attractiveness (objectively of course) you'll have guys beating down your door.

 

Have a friend help you set up a decent dating profile, post on here and other places for advice with said profile, work on your physical appearance and being social, and it will happen quick. If you're expectations are too high, take a break and work on yourself or lower your standards. It's honestly not that hard for women to find a guy if they're reasonable. Be thankful you aren't a guy because dating is MUCH harder for us.

[umirano]

Men are only as loyal as their opportunities

Speak for yourself

[Dark Horse]

God damn, you are very blind! How in the world can you possibly be so sight deficient?! Definitely go see a doctor or something...

[ItsAllConfusing]

Why would someone you think is the sweetest kindest man you ever met need to be chatting with a woman on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean? Surely such a catch is equally desired by women in Morrocco.

 

Morrocco is in Africa. The average weekly wage is less than $60. Comared to his country, you are quite wealthy. He may not appear to want money now, but the request is coming.

 

Yes that request did come. I stopped talking to him then.

[The Outlaw]

No, but just consider it a learning experience. You dodged a bullet. He stood out like a sore thumb and made his intentions very clear when he asked you for money. People will say whatever they feel you would want to hear to gain your trust to get what they want. You haven't lost anything.

[Nnam]

Be straight up, if you want it, make it official and find a way to make it work as you have gleaned he doesn't seem like a leech.

[bathtub-row]

Glad you ended it with him. Going forward, I'd suggest that you never again mistake online chatting for "meeting" someone or having a "relationship" with them. You simply don't know who you're dealing with and you can't be gullible in thinking that there aren't rotten people in this world -- and a whole lot of them are on the internet, fishing.

[gaius]

I don't think you're blind or foolish confusing. I'm guessing you're just somewhat isolated at the moment so some loser from Morocco working his game ends up being the most appealing attention you get. If you put yourself out there in more places that might very well change though.

 

And in the future, automatically x out guys from any third world country. And the UK. The odds of anything good coming from those pools of men are slim to none.