Just got dumped by my gf (19)

[choyhtya]

My girlfreind of 2 months (19) has left me (21) 2 days ago and I feel devastated. It was a fairly short term relationship I know and I wish that I didn't have to feel this way. She left me for a variety of reasons but I don't think they're really that important anymore since I doubt we'll see each other again.

 

After the breakup I was quite suicidal. Not only because of the breakup however. My mom passed away in October which left me in shock, and I don't even know what kinds of effects it has on me besides giving me some major anger issues, or maybe making old ones worse. After that the family dog was hit by a car which also shook me to the core. That dog was there when my mom passed. I was never a dog person before I met that dog. He was like family. After that I find it hard to be around my family. I'm not sure why really partially because I'm an introvert.

 

In January I met my GF and we hit it off instantly. We had a very similar sense of humor, sexual chemistry(I took her V card), and our personalites and temperment mashed together so nicely. We had so many little things in common too. I felt like I was rediscovering love. I've been through multiple relationships but I don't think I ever felt the same way about someone. Towards the end we had trouble making time for each other and she seemed to get somewhat more distant. I became more clingy, and began to have trust issues because she was'nt communicating with meat all. We had conflicting work scdeules, and were both going t school in addition to being 40mins apart. We actually got in a fight over her not making enough time for me, where I secretly thought about dumping her a week prior to her dumping me.But she was everything that I ever wanted, almost. I just wanted it to work so badly.

 

The day that she dumped me happened to be the day that I found out that I owed 2800 for school from past courses. I'm a 21 year old male. I can't pay that at all so now I am faced with the prospect of dropping out, not acheiving my dreams in addition to facing my student debt. That by itself had me thinking about just ending it. And then I get home from work and get the breakup text.

Intried my best to not think about it and keep myself busy. Wemt hiking with my best freind the day later and hung out with him. But once I got home I simply broke down. The culmination of the seemingly endless amount of BS in my life drove me to want to end it. I wrote my final letter and I drove to the park in my car with a bottle full of painkillers in one hand and a knife in the other. The two things that I had going for me after my moms and dogs death were just ripped out from under me. I sent some texts to people and texted my now ex that if she heard about anything bad happening to me that she shouldn't feel responsible. It took her hours to convince me not to end it. These hours were mostly filled with me trying to draw the strentgh to finish the act and that it was the best thing that I can do for myself. Also begging for her back. I know your not supposed to do it because it has the opposite effect that you desire but I was emotional and could'nt think clearly.

 

Now I'm just sitting here. I've called off of work these past two day's for sanity, and will probably get fired for it. Now I just feel hollow, and depressed when I feel anything. Even hooking up with some random girl didnt help me as much as I thought.

 

I just don't know how to come back from all of this. I've always wanted to encounter love like I found in my ex, and now that loves gone. I just don't feel like I will ever meet anyone who can make me feel happy and loved ever again. Or anyone that beautiful either. I guess I'm wondering is there a chance for me at all? To find true love. To come back from everything? Part of me feels like I should have ended it. Any advice to rebound from this break up, and maybe from everything else would be much appreciated.

Edited April 8, 2017 by choyhtya

[darser]

Man, lemme tell ya, life is a messy ride, and you must think of this as a learning experience you like it or not, in my case, i learnt what i didn't want in a girl after i though bout my relationship with my ex. Think bout the good things and the bad things of your relationship and write em down, think bout em in 3 months, after you settled down a bit and you'll see alot of crap was going on.

Remember something, life will keep moving even when you are in a catatonic state, no one likes that, but that how it works, and you need to stand up as fast as you can, sure you can cry, no one will judge you, you can feel bad, but remember something...only you can make yourself happy, don't depend on someone else for your own happiness, that how alot of our problems arise, so right now, don't try to get on with another girl, don't try to be all ego and bs, just be yourself and it's ok to feel sad, but you'll sooner or later realize that it's not worth it at al for that person to feel like that.

Now yea, your relationship was short, but that doesn't mean you actually got to know that person, you only saw a face of hers, and just like a dice, everyone got more than 1 attittude, so right now, focus on what important for you = family, work & studies if i dare to say they are priorities.

You'll get out of this, trust me, there are alot more of people out there that youll click with, just give yourself sometime to heal, and then be yourself, and sooner than you think you'll find that click.

[FoundLove]

So sorry you're hurting so much...

 

You are still very young and life has a way of sorting itself out. Hang in there. Yes, you will most definitely find a new and better love. You'll look back on this girl and think why on earth did I ever cry over her. I can say that because that's what happened to me.

 

I had my first serious relationship at 21 and when it ended I thought my life was over. The pain was unbearable! Now, years later I'm married to a wonderful guy and this relationship is a hundred times better than the first one I had. So, please don't give up. I know it hurts - having your heart broken is awful. But you WILL get through it and life will get better.

 

I'm so sorry about the loss of your mom and your dog. Life is definitely not treating you well at the moment. But things can only get better, right? Thing must turn around eventually and then life will be good once again.

 

Just hang in there...

 

Good luck!

[Flowerchildfala]

Don't let this girl ruin your life. Your still so young and I'm sure it's your first love so it will really hurt. She's made her decision to leave you but that's her loss. Give her space and go no contact. It will be hard at first but it will be a lot easier to get over her this way. She will also respect you more for keeping your dignity and not begging for her back. Take this time to cry and feel the pain but after 2 days pick your self up and try to keep busy with friends and hobbies. She will constantly be on your mind but with time it will get better. Also if you go no contact it may make her miss you and she might want you back but by that point you might have moved on. If she doesn't want to be with you then respect yourself enough to walk away. You will find a girl that holds on to you and doesn't want to lose you.

[Flowerchildfala]

Also I'm so sorry about your mom!! Sending you hugs!!

[choyhtya]

Thank's everyone. She certainly was'nt my first relationship or anything but it seems like she was my first true love which is why it hurts so much.

 

My understanding from what she told me is that she had a fe issues with the relationship but never actually went to me to talk about them once, she just went to her best freind who told her to break up with me for weeks. Which actually pisses me off quite a bit because thats the opposite of what should have happened. You can't just not communicate in a relationship. On top of that she always told me that there was nothing wrong and everything was perfect and I guess I had good intuition or something because I started to have a hard time trusting what she was doing because something seemed off and I had no clue what.

 

I decided that no contact is the best way to go too. I unadded her off of all social media just so I'm not constantly looking at her. I'm trying my best to move on from this, I'm talking to a few people from online dating sights and had sex with kne already but I don't really like any of them. But it does help me confidence quite a bit.

[d0nnivain]

I'm sorry about your mom.

 

 

Going NC from this EX is your best bet.

 

 

Figure out how to raise the money to stay in school. Can you get a better paying PT job -- bartending, driving for Uber etc.? Take out a loan. Don't give up your dream.

[choyhtya]

Thank you. It might be one of those things that I have to put on hold and save money for. I have some money saved up but I'd need over a thoasand and I'm past the deadline. What should I do if my ex contacts me? My current job pays me 14.80 plus overtime so I could simply work anextra day.

Edited April 8, 2017 by choyhtya

[d0nnivain]

What should I do if my ex contacts me?

 

 

What do you want to do? There are no right or wrong answers here. It was only a brief relationship. She probably won't contact you. If she does & wants to reconcile the answer becomes what do you want?

 

 

One reconciliation is OK but if this becomes a break up / make up cycle that is a problem.

[choyhtya]

Yeah I doubt she'll contact me but part of me still wants her back. I don't know everything feels like a mess. I'm also really mad about her inability to communicate with me.