I turned into a needy psycho.

[Frog117]

Hi

 

I'm hoping you may be able to give me some advice. I had a friend of several years, we initially met about 4 years ago when he had split with his gf at the time and we had a brief fling. I supose looking back he always seemed to do a push pull thing on me but I really really liked him. Anyway, he ended up going back to his gf and I started a new relationship, then another and all through this we would remain in contact occasionally, but not too much because I knew how much I liked him and knew i would get too attached.

 

When I split with my bf of 2.5 years last Year, we got back to talking more often and he once again helped me through it. He was also having problems in his relationship and wanted to end it. We started getting closer, texting all the time and I kept trying to stay away but was so crap at it, because I am just like putty when it comes to him.

 

Eventually he left his relationship, and we got together, but he said he woukdnt get straight into another relatonship. I knew this, and that was sensible so i tried to be 'cool' with that. We continued to text and saw each other a couple of times and slept together. But i noticed he was online more and he didnt seem as attentive to me as he had before.

 

I tried talking to him about it but all the time he just says im thinking too much. Eventually i got on his nerves but tryung to talk and think too much, and now he has blocked me.

 

I felt like he was close to me, then i felt the distance, he said because he didnt want me to think it would be a relationship, but I guess i couldnt help think that... he used to text me all through the day, and then he became more distant when he was single and saying it was none of my business if he was talking to other girls or what he was doing.

 

I suppose i felt like we were close, but i also knew that he wasnt going to be ready for another relationship....but i couldnt cope with thinking about him with other women, or seeing him online and knowing he would be talking, flirting with other women and his messages to me became less and less.

 

I just feel really low now. He clearly doesnt want me anymore and I cant nelp thinking that if we'd never done anything then we'd still be friends.

 

He says im selfish because I just think about what I want, am i selfish? I cant help how I feel about him, but maybe I am selfish?

 

Now i've become so needy and insecure but its because he used to say things that made me feel important to him, and now he acts like im nothing to him.

 

Why cant I just let go and get him out of my head, I feel so stupid?

[basil67]

Frog, please don't be so hard on yourself. Casual relationships aren't for everyone, and most of us find out the hard way. We can tell ourselves endlessly that it's just for fun, but then get emotionally involved.

 

Forgive yourself. Then accept that you're the type of person who needs a relationship (or at least a chance of future) to be intimate. And there's nothing wrong with this.

[Flowerchildfala]

No offense but he sounds like a jerk, I think you dodged a bullet with him. You got attached to him so it's going to hurt a while that he's suddenly cut you out but don't be hard on yourself. Try to keep busy with other things and don't think about him, easier said than done I know.

[Jopes]

Your not the only one who has reacted bad, been called a psycho or lashed out seeking attention while trying to be discrete about it. Mental health is a touchy subject. Recognize you weren't healthy in your approach and let him go. The more you hold on to this relationship, the further in the rabbit hole you will end up and out of that hole is fresh air. Work on getting out of the hole.

[Bromeo]

Hi

 

I'm hoping you may be able to give me some advice. I had a friend of several years, we initially met about 4 years ago when he had split with his gf at the time and we had a brief fling. I supose looking back he always seemed to do a push pull thing on me but I really really liked him. Anyway, he ended up going back to his gf and I started a new relationship, then another and all through this we would remain in contact occasionally, but not too much because I knew how much I liked him and knew i would get too attached.

 

When I split with my bf of 2.5 years last Year, we got back to talking more often and he once again helped me through it. He was also having problems in his relationship and wanted to end it. We started getting closer, texting all the time and I kept trying to stay away but was so crap at it, because I am just like putty when it comes to him.

 

Eventually he left his relationship, and we got together, but he said he woukdnt get straight into another relatonship. I knew this, and that was sensible so i tried to be 'cool' with that. We continued to text and saw each other a couple of times and slept together. But i noticed he was online more and he didnt seem as attentive to me as he had before.

 

I tried talking to him about it but all the time he just says im thinking too much. Eventually i got on his nerves but tryung to talk and think too much, and now he has blocked me.

 

I felt like he was close to me, then i felt the distance, he said because he didnt want me to think it would be a relationship, but I guess i couldnt help think that... he used to text me all through the day, and then he became more distant when he was single and saying it was none of my business if he was talking to other girls or what he was doing.

 

I suppose i felt like we were close, but i also knew that he wasnt going to be ready for another relationship....but i couldnt cope with thinking about him with other women, or seeing him online and knowing he would be talking, flirting with other women and his messages to me became less and less.

 

I just feel really low now. He clearly doesnt want me anymore and I cant nelp thinking that if we'd never done anything then we'd still be friends.

 

He says im selfish because I just think about what I want, am i selfish? I cant help how I feel about him, but maybe I am selfish?

 

Now i've become so needy and insecure but its because he used to say things that made me feel important to him, and now he acts like im nothing to him.

 

Why cant I just let go and get him out of my head, I feel so stupid?

 

Your title made me smile. And reminded me of me acting the same. Don't be too hard on yourself. I chased mine for months. Be satisfied that you tried to save it.

 

And really, if they want to go, let them go. Lol

[d0nnivain]

You are not selfish or stupid. You are someone who was falling for a guy. In that light you wanted more. He was unwilling to give you more & then tried to make you feel bad about asking for more.

 

 

If you had never gotten involved, you might still be friends but you would still be pining for him. Now you had a small taste & you learned the kind of person he is . . .someone who blames you when he doesn't get what he wants -- NSA sex. Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.