My wife and my friend

[Thorgal]

I ve been married around 7 years. Until the last 2 years I was very much in love with my wife. I still love her but not in love with her. Sex life is similar to it. For the last 2 years it's rare. Used to be very satisfying before. Responsibilities and years are the reasons I guess. Last year something happened and can't get it out of my mind even though I'm ashamed.

One of my close friend, me and my wife went out one night. We had some beers. My friend is single. He had lots of women in his life but he never got married. But lately he says he wants a serious relationship or marriage but after he changed his mind he can't meet a decent woman. Anyway that night we all got drunk. My friend made a few compliments to my wife and slightly flirted with her. My wife didn't react much but thanked him. And she seemed she liked the attention. She smiled whole night. After that day nothing happened but i can't stop thinking about it. It turned me on like crazy. How can I make it real ? I mean wife and friend together?? Pls don't judge just give me offers.

[preraph]

So you're attracted to your friend?

[Life lessons]

Are you interested in a threesome or interested in your wife leaving you to be with your friend....or you watching them have sex??

[Space Ritual]

I ve been married around 7 years. Until the last 2 years I was very much in love with my wife. I still love her but not in love with her. Sex life is similar to it. For the last 2 years it's rare. Used to be very satisfying before. Responsibilities and years are the reasons I guess. Last year something happened and can't get it out of my mind even though I'm ashamed.

One of my close friend, me and my wife went out one night. We had some beers. My friend is single. He had lots of women in his life but he never got married. But lately he says he wants a serious relationship or marriage but after he changed his mind he can't meet a decent woman. Anyway that night we all got drunk. My friend made a few compliments to my wife and slightly flirted with her. My wife didn't react much but thanked him. And she seemed she liked the attention. She smiled whole night. After that day nothing happened but i can't stop thinking about it. It turned me on like crazy. How can I make it real ? I mean wife and friend together?? Pls don't judge just give me offers.

 

 

I am sure cuckolds have websites you can visit.

 

You may not get a lot of positive feedback on this subject, being many of us were victims of infidelity. Maybe someone will come along with the answers you seek.

[mikeylo]

Fantasy is better left as fantasy.

[Thorgal]

I wish they had an affair

[Simple Logic]

I wish they had an affair

 

Then just tell your wife she is free to bang your buddy.

[caringsister]

Be careful trying to turn fantasy into reality... if it works the hot thoughts you have now could possibly be replaced with resentment and dislike for both of them.

[road]

I wish they had an affair

 

Be careful trying to turn fantasy into reality... if it works the hot thoughts you have now could possibly be replaced with resentment and dislike for both of them.

 

I have seen too many marriages end this way. Don't.

[smackie9]

Please talk to your wife...not just about what happened that night, but what has been happening in your marriage. Maybe even seek counseling. If you approach this with respect and tact, it just might save your marriage. If you sit there and let this run around in your thoughts, you will be finding yourself unhappy, divorced and alone. Suck it up and deal with it.

[Chi townD]

Mikeylo is right. fantasies are fun and great. But when a fantasy involves a third person, that's when things get bad and messy. Couple of things happen.

 

1. Women are known to grow a strong attachment to the guy that they sleep with. A lot of times, she will probably form an emotional bond with this guy. Tends to happen a lot with women. You may end up losing her.

 

2. You might think that it's cool, but you don't know what you'll feel during the heat of the moment. You may want them to stop, but you might already be too late.

 

3. You may get jealous. She might do things to him, or she lets him do things to her that she never let you do.

 

4.She may end up resenting you. Thinking you don't love her because if you did, you would have throw her to your friend to do with as he pleases. She would expect you to cherish her. And she may lose all respect for you. Because you don't respect her.

 

5. Most couples that start swinging are trying to put a bandaid on an arterial bleed of their relationship or marriage. Not all, but most of swinging couples usually end up divorced or in massive amounts of marriage counseling.

 

 

Not worth it dude. If you love that girl, then don't even suggest it.

[PegNosePete]

I wish they had an affair

So your marriage is in tatters, and you wish your wife would have an affair with your friend.

 

It seems to me like you're looking for an "excuse" to divorce? I mean if she had an affair then you could easily justify ending the marriage and moving on. It would be easy. Whereas divorcing without that obvious reason would feel like you're giving up, and repairing the marriage would be even more difficult. I think you're just looking for an easy way out here.

 

You need to decide what you want in your life here. Do you want to repair your marriage? If so then you need to talk to your wife and probably get into marriage counselling ASAP. If you think the marriage is too far gone then you need to bite the bullet, and divorce based on irreconcilable differences.

 

This sex with the friend thing is just asking for a whole lot more drama in your life.

[DanSCL]

You say are not loving your wife as much because the sex has turned into something rather lame.

 

Boring?

 

But you do love her. You are not "in lust" but you are "in love"

 

If you guys were humping humping 24/7 you wouldn’t even think to lend her to anybody else.

 

And because you care so much about her you want her to experience something hot… and that turns you on.

 

Fix the sex FIRST. Then the fantasies

 

If the sex was off the charts and you and your wife were in a very open ( sexually and with incredible communication ) relationship… yes, no prob.

 

But in the place you are in, IF you are having those fantasies now, she has been having other fantasies as well… 10x

 

Talk things over. Fantasies included

 

Fix the sex between you too. Has to be animalistic and ravenous.

 

Otherwise you risk too much.

[Thorgal]

Thanks for all for your comments.

First I'm totally straight. I still love my wife but she doesnt seem sexy to me anymore. When she is home she always wears sweats maybe that a reason. When she goes to work she wears short skirts, high heels, make up but she doesnt care about her looking when she is home.

I don't want to divorce but I want to change our sex life. I ve talked to my wife and few times to spice up. But it doesn't work. Maybe it's because of her conservatism. She has only three men in her life including me. Maybe I can't explain myself clearly. I don't know.

[Chi townD]

You, my friend, need to be romantic. She's at home and then she changes into sweats. You said that you talked to her about it a couple of times. But, it's like you expect HER to make all of the changes. YOU need to take the bull by the horns. YOU need to plan a romantic evening out with her. Wine and Dine her. Bring her roses. Make her feel special. Tell her she's beautiful. She probably changes into sweats because she doesn't feel sexy around you. If you put in the effort, so will she.

 

The one thing my grandfather taught me is that if you treat the girl with kindness, love and respect...you're going to get that back from her and A LOT more.

[Thorgal]

My friend asked me and my wife to go out tonight. So I should refuse??

[road]

My friend asked me and my wife to go out tonight. So I should refuse??

 

Yes. Refuse and ghost him out of your lives.

[Thorgal]

Yes. Refuse and ghost him out of your lives.

You are late ?we accepted.

[Darren Steez]

My friend asked me and my wife to go out tonight. So I should refuse??

 

No invite him in. Make them dinner, then leave the house.

 

... but you don't actually leave the house, you circle around, climb through the bedroom window then hide under the bed!

 

Then you have a front row seat to your wife getting absolutely ploughed..depending on the clearance of the bed you might get a few poundage box-spring noogies..

 

You lucky guy!!

[Clockwork]

Look, I get it. If another man finds your wife sexy it is a huge turn on, at least to men who aren't insanely jealous. For me, it is sexy. And I've been there, at a party once when I was first dating my wife there were some drinks let's just say and there were some old buddies (whom I haven't hung around in years and it was a different time) who we were partying with. These guys were never shy to ask a girl to see her boobs. Honestly, they'd be blunt about it. A couple of the girls at the party did it and when my wife - then my young girlfriend - got asked she didn't do anything but eventually thought she may have had to in order to fit in so she did, but it was only one guy that saw it for a second and he was drunk. That was it. I told her she didn't have to do that and I was sorry that I even let someone talk to her like that. She was sorry too and nothing ever close has happened again. Bottom line is, we're happily married and have three kids now.

 

 

So look, I get that it is a turn on. In a way, that sort of stuff turns me on too, but if my wife and a buddy of mine had sex, that would not be good. I don't think I could ever be the same with her. So think about that. I understand the fantasy, we all have it, but it should stay there. The movie "Indecent Proposal" was based on this type of thinking except there was money involved. The entire plot of the movie is showing just exactly how something like what you are thinking about can affect a marriage.

[Thorgal]

Look, I get it. If another man finds your wife sexy it is a huge turn on, at least to men who aren't insanely jealous. For me, it is sexy. And I've been there, at a party once when I was first dating my wife there were some drinks let's just say and there were some old buddies (whom I haven't hung around in years and it was a different time) who we were partying with. These guys were never shy to ask a girl to see her boobs. Honestly, they'd be blunt about it. A couple of the girls at the party did it and when my wife - then my young girlfriend - got asked she didn't do anything but eventually thought she may have had to in order to fit in so she did, but it was only one guy that saw it for a second and he was drunk. That was it. I told her she didn't have to do that and I was sorry that I even let someone talk to her like that. She was sorry too and nothing ever close has happened again. Bottom line is, we're happily married and have three kids now.

 

 

So look, I get that it is a turn on. In a way, that sort of stuff turns me on too, but if my wife and a buddy of mine had sex, that would not be good. I don't think I could ever be the same with her. So think about that. I understand the fantasy, we all have it, but it should stay there. The movie "Indecent Proposal" was based on this type of thinking except there was money involved. The entire plot of the movie is showing just exactly how something like what you are thinking about can affect a marriage.

 

Last night I intentionally make them drink much. They were drunk after a few hours. My wife asked me to dance but after I refused my friend took her hand. They danced a little bit. It was just a normal dance. But then slow music began. So they got close to eachother. There were around 10 cm between them but after the first song they got closer and leaned on each others. I wasn't close that much but could clearly see that. At that time I was very jealous but also turned on much. When they come back to table I could feel the tension between them. It didn't go further. We went back home. I donno if she is aware that I saw them but I decided to stop here.

[Darren Steez]

Come on dude, why aren't you listening!!

 

Dinner!!

 

Invite your friend over, set up a table with candles and roses

 

Cook a nice dinner, turn on some Kenny G saxophone music or even better hire a saxophonist to play in the room!

 

Then you leave them alone, get out of the house, circle around to the bedroom window then climb through the window and jump under the bed!

 

Then after about an hour after dinner has finished you'll hear the saxophone music getting nearer and nearer then you'll have five hours of hearing your friend bonking your wife to saxophone music!!!

 

This plan cannot fail buddy.

 

*To spice it up even further you can hire a trombone and ukulele player- MAGIC*

[Darren Steez]

Last night I intentionally make them drink much. They were drunk after a few hours. My wife asked me to dance but after I refused

 

Did you have a DJ or did you hire a saxophonist to play Kenny G's greatest hits?

 

my friend took her hand. They danced a little bit. It was just a normal dance. But then slow music began. So they got close to eachother. There were around 10 cm between them

 

Did you have a tape measure or ruler and was the point measured at the waist or near the knees?

 

but after the first song they got closer and leaned on each others.

 

That might have been the booze, excessive drooling might be a clue..

 

I wasn't close that much but could clearly see that.

 

I suggest you invest in some proper lights my man, clearly you want to be able to see everything, watching your friend and your wife dancing by torch light is not good for your eyesight!

 

At that time I was very jealous but also turned on much. When they come back to table I could feel the tension between them. It didn't go further. We went back home. I donno if she is aware that I saw them but I decided to stop here.

 

Until next time, and remember dinner and Kenny G will not fail!!

[kendahke]

My friend asked me and my wife to go out tonight. So I should refuse??

 

Remember when you and she stood before the officiator and he said "let no man put asunder"? That means you, your wife and your friend.

 

This isn't your girlfriend here. This is your lawful wife--she stood before God and man and swore she would not entertain another man in a way that will cause her husband distress and you did, too.

 

Your friend needs to be put in check by both you and your wife presenting as a united front. If you're having issues with what she wears when she gets home from work, you can crack open any fashion catalogue and find something cute and sexy, but comfortable for her to wear around the house or you can take her shopping and let her buy cute things to wear in your presence. *IF* that is your only reason for starving her, sexually.

 

But here's the thing: you neglecting your wife over something you could fix if you'd take your focus off of your selfishness is the reason why she's entertaining your friend. He shouldn't have been able to get any sort of a foothold with her.

 

Now, about your fantasy: unless all 3 of you are on board with this (or are about shooting porn tube movies about cuckolded men), and no feelings are going to be invested where they don't belong, then this isn't going to turn out well and chances are, you're going to be the one left in the dust. Is it your aim to divorce your wife and you're hoping your boy does all your dirty work for you?

 

You might also want to speak with a therapist about your role in all of this--why you married someone then chose to slowly starve her of intimacy, affection and sex and think that she should be OK with that. That there is a road map to the divorce lawyer's office.

 

If she's getting watered from another hose (brilliant, huh?), why would she want to remain in your desert?

[kendahke]

There were around 10 cm between them.

 

Oh, right---you got out a ruler and measured them...

 

We're being played with a fake story.