Cookiesandough Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 (edited) Hi. I've been trying to be more social and make new friends. Yesterday, I met a girl at an event last night and I asked for her contact. She texted me this morning: " It was nice meeting you last night! Hopefully your car didn't get towed. Haha We should hangout sometime! " I responded saying car was ok and we should and that I'm trying to make new friends and she wrote back " Glad to hear that. Yes it's Lisa! We should definitely do something soon! I'll let you know. " I'll let you know? Is that a bad sign? Like an easy letdown. What if she never lets me know. Omg, I'm overthinking this so much but I really like her and want to be friends. Edited April 8, 2017 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted April 8, 2017 Author Share Posted April 8, 2017 #shesjustnotthatintoyou Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 I'll let you carry my bags I'll let you bask in the glow of my company I'll let you love me Marriage was a great teacher I apply the lessons to everything, including new acquaintances and long-time friends. The main one is care less and have zero expectations. Heck, I'm even happy to wake up in the morning. Never know.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 I wouldn't say she's trying to blow you off or let you down or whatever. She's the one who brought up hanging out first, right? Why don't you invite her to do something with you? By the way, if you're interested in dating her, don't do the whole, "Let's be friends" thing. Just ask her out on a date. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted April 9, 2017 Author Share Posted April 9, 2017 I'll let you carry my bags I'll let you bask in the glow of my company I'll let you love me Marriage was a great teacher I apply the lessons to everything, including new acquaintances and long-time friends. The main one is care less and have zero expectations. Heck, I'm even happy to wake up in the morning. Never know.... Thanks for the dose of Truth. Need that sometimes. Reeling back expectations 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted April 9, 2017 Author Share Posted April 9, 2017 I wouldn't say she's trying to blow you off or let you down or whatever. She's the one who brought up hanging out first, right? Why don't you invite her to do something with you? By the way, if you're interested in dating her, don't do the whole, "Let's be friends" thing. Just ask her out on a date. Yes perhaps. I think I may invite her in a week or two. And no, I'm a straight girl just looking for friends. Thank you!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 And no, I'm a straight girl just looking for friends. I was wondering! I hope you do invite her to do something. Is there another similar event coming up that it would make sense to invite her to? Or a new restaurant or something else you've been meaning to check out? Maybe let her know that she's free to invite any other friends of hers, if she wants. Don't overthink it! It's just a possible new friend. If it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 You are definitely overthinking... Over the the last few years I have invited ~20 different men out for a drink, whatever. These are people with whom I'm well acquainted and share common interests, I see regularly (~1-2 times per month), and we seem to get along well. Out of these invitations only 2 have accepted and only one expressed any interest in meeting again. And no one, other than the person who accepted my invitation, has ever invited me out to do anything. Interestingly, I've always had an easier time finding women with whom to have relationships than I've had finding male friends. It's tough sometimes, but I don't let that stop me and neither should you. The key, as implied by carhill, is not to let the ones that don't work out get you down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 "I'll let you know" = "I'm really just being cordial and have no plans on actually getting back to you." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 I wouldn't say she's trying to blow you off or let you down or whatever. She's the one who brought up hanging out first, right? Why don't you invite her to do something with you? Exactly what I was going to say. Next time you find something fun to do, invite her along. Not hang out, but go do something. I'm not sure about girls, but if it was guys, it would be even better if you invited her and a couple friends to go do something with you and a couple friends. Guys can totally make that work. Have no idea about you women, but either way, asking her to go somewhere with you is the ticket. If I may be so bold as to suggest something, the Kentucky Derby is coming up. That's always a good excuse for young ladies to get all dolled up and go party somewhere where they make a big deal of the day. Maybe there's a steeplechase race nearby, if you're on the east coast. Otherwise, there are parties and celebrations all over the country. It depends on your geography, but it's an idea. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jjb117 Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 Lmao you're definitely overthinking this. Maybe one of these days ask her to do something with you and a couple of other people. Whether it be go out to eat, do homework, honestly anything. If she's interested she'll make the effort to go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 "I'll let you know" = "I'm really just being cordial and have no plans on actually getting back to you." This is normally the case in dating, but not in friendships. You are overthinking it, but it's understandable. You want to make a new friend, but not seem desperate. It sounds like something I would say. If you have an event coming up or a free night you want to do something, invite her along. Although she said, I'll let you know, I wouldn't necessarily leave it to her to make the first move. It sounds like something I would say but I wouldn't always remember to arrange something with a new friend. Ask her out for drinks, a movie, dinner, whatever you want to do. Fortune favours the bold! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FrancoStacy Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 Hi. I've been trying to be more social and make new friends. Yesterday, I met a girl at an event last night and I asked for her contact. She texted me this morning: " It was nice meeting you last night! Hopefully your car didn't get towed. Haha We should hangout sometime! " I responded saying car was ok and we should and that I'm trying to make new friends and she wrote back " Glad to hear that. Yes it's Lisa! We should definitely do something soon! I'll let you know. " I'll let you know? Is that a bad sign? Like an easy letdown. What if she never lets me know. Omg, I'm overthinking this so much but I really like her and want to be friends. Im just curious, if its only as a friend then why even tell us the gender of the person? If it doesn't matter, then it doesn't matter in the story either, but the title even states it. And if its only as a friend, why are you overthinking it? She contacted you back so that means something. So I am saying its not just as friends is it? You are wondering if she meant something other than what her words say because you asked the question on here but also meaning more than the words say 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 Seems pretty innocent. If you don't hear from her I see no reason not to ask her to hang out again in a few days. You could text one night something like, "Hey, I wanted to try xxx bar this week. Would you like to meet up there one night and hang out?". It didn't seem like any rejection to me. If a new friend sent me that I would expect that meant they would actually let me know. Like maybe they are planning on going out Thursday or Friday and whatever day worked out for them and they would text and say, hey, going to xxx, come on out if you are free. If I was dating a person "I'll let you know" would be a blow off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 If you don't hear from her soon, I would invite her to a group event because she'd be more likely to accept. It is a little awkward going off one on one with a brand new person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted April 13, 2017 Author Share Posted April 13, 2017 Thank you all!! I took initiative and contacted her and we are going out Saturday night. Thank you!!!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted April 13, 2017 Author Share Posted April 13, 2017 Im just curious, if its only as a friend then why even tell us the gender of the person? If it doesn't matter, then it doesn't matter in the story either, but the title even states it. And if its only as a friend, why are you overthinking it? She contacted you back so that means something. So I am saying its not just as friends is it? You are wondering if she meant something other than what her words say because you asked the question on here but also meaning more than the words say It's just a friend. I'm straight. I honestly have no idea now that you mention it lol I think it's because I know there's assumptions made when a guy says this to a girl be girl to a guy but this is platonic section so it shouldn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
FrancoStacy Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 It's just a friend. I'm straight. I honestly have no idea now that you mention it lol I think it's because I know there's assumptions made when a guy says this to a girl be girl to a guy but this is platonic section so it shouldn't matter. You are right, this is in the platonic section. Besides only you know and its your life. I just know from a guy perspective, a straight guy would not approach a straight guy like this...and then ask guy friends, do you think he is blowing me off and be confused or worried about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted April 14, 2017 Author Share Posted April 14, 2017 I can think of a lot of things straight women would do that men wouldn't. I think men in general are way too weird about possibly coming off "gay". Pfffft Link to post Share on other sites
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