mnnc Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 My wife and I are separated and have been for the past 8 months. She left me for another guy (Zach) and so far my kids (Ages 5 and 8) have not been around him except for my oldest for about 45 mins. Today she sends me a text and ask if I had any plans for the kids Easter Sunday and that she like to have them for a few hours that day. We share the kids 50/50 and they were scheduled with me that day. I told her I was going to be leaving them Easter Baskets that morning but had no plans after that. She then sends me this text. "Ok. Before you say yes, I want you to know that Zach will be here on Sunday and that I want the boys to spend some time with him and myself. I was thinking from 2-6." What am I suppose to say to that? Of course I don't want my kids around him. He is a un-moral selfish coward but there is nothing I can really do about it. Sure I could be a a$$ and say no and make things more complicated but I would only be delaying something that is going to be happening one day anyways. I am not even sure why she sent that to me. I am not sure if she is wanting my blessing or is afraid I will find out and make a scene. I am thinking of just not responding because I can't think of anything to say. Anyone have any advice? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 Tell your WW that you do not want the POSOM around your kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nittygritty Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 Text her that it isn't in the best interest of the kids. You aren't even divorced yet and at 5 and 8 they don't need the added stress and confusion. Or you could just say that you have already made plans for them on Easter. And follow thru by having an Easter egg hunt with your kids and making a nice meal for them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 Unfortunately you can't truly control who she has them around but I hope your are doing a very hard 180. Don't do the "friends" thing or interact with her in any way other than short text or emails, kids business only. I think I'd say it's inappropriate until the D is final. Keep them for the day. If she wants to introduce them behind your back ignore it. That's out of your hands. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 I would only be delaying something that is going to be happening one day anyways. In agreeing with this, I'm going to take a somewhat contrary position. You are correct, he will be around and probably sooner rather than later, it's a part of separation/divorce. The kids will meet and spend time with "Mom's friend". At least she's telling you, were it me I'd want to know. And thus informed, you can be ready to answer the questions your boys will inevitably have. You're not endorsing or validating her choices by replying "thanks for letting me know". What you are doing is laying the groundwork for good communication, a definite plus when co-parenting. Just my $.02... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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