Andromania Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 4 months ago my ex broke up with me . She was ruthless and cold . Well I initiated no contact and I got in a relationship last month however the relationship isn't going as I expected, it's lackluster and it doesn't meet my expectations nor does it make me satisfied . I'm thinking of breaking up tomorrow despite the fact that she is a sweet girl . However I noticed that lately I've been checking my ex's Facebook over 10 times per day, I'm even getting more and obsessed with her . I saw her in the university last week and she tried to sexually arouse me by fixing her pants in a seductive way, also she has a page on Facebook that I was an admin in , she posted this lyrics on saturday " you fit me better than my favourite sweater " and my intuition is saying that this is a sign for me ... Well today I liked her page on Facebook, hoping she'll be active enough to figure that I liked it . I'm thinking of contacting her again but I'm torn apart, it's been 4 months and I'm TERRIFIED of being slammed in face ruthlessly again . I know for sure she won't contact me first, she is the cowardly kind of girl and I know she's not daring enough to make this move. I know she's not over me because for weeks I've been seeing her and she panics , gets shocked and turns red when her eyes meet mine .If she's over me she'd act normal What do you think I should do? Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 If she dumped you and doesn't reach out to reconnect you're wasting your time. You chase she'll move away. Wait 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andromania Posted April 9, 2017 Author Share Posted April 9, 2017 If she dumped you and doesn't reach out to reconnect you're wasting your time. You chase she'll move away. Wait I've been with her long enough to know her personality , she's not daring at ALL . In fact, if a move might have one simple negative result she refrains from doing it . Additionally if she's doing ok fine and all, why does she panic and turn red whenever she sees me? Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 I hope you enjoy being humiliated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Do if it you must... but every single person on this forum is going to tell you not to. We say this from experience, and because we have read countless other posts of guys just like you, making the same claims, and going through the same painful realization when they reach out and destroy any future chances of reconciliation, completely. Patience, is a virtue. If you try... if your gut is really telling you to... then god help you. I will be rooting for you, but i dont think its going to work. If up to you if its worth the risk. I really, really want to be wrong. If you do it.... just make sure you are totally ready to nail that final nail in the coffin... and lose her forever. Its an all-in scenario, there is no going back. You are a gambling man, but sometimes you need to find out the hard way. Update us on what happens. And, remember, whatever happens, we will be here to talk to you after and you can vent here. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 I've been with her long enough to know her personality , she's not daring at ALL . In fact, if a move might have one simple negative result she refrains from doing it . Additionally if she's doing ok fine and all, why does she panic and turn red whenever she sees me? Why did she dump you and go cold? She was brave enough to do that wasn't she. If she doesn't come to you then you become less than her. For a relationship to be a good one it has to be balanced @ 50/50. IMO you sell yourself short she'll dump you again. Respect is important never be someone's doormat. It's not worth it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 I've been with her long enough to know her personality , she's not daring at ALL . In fact, if a move might have one simple negative result she refrains from doing it . Additionally if she's doing ok fine and all, why does she panic and turn red whenever she sees me? That's what you think. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Many people's face turn red with anger. Some are able to control. It takes practice. Many people panic when they are around people they don't want to be around. Both of these apply to your ex. She gets angry seeing you. She dumped you. Swallow the pill and leave her alone. And I agree, you don't know her well enough. Either way, it doesn't matter. Stop creeping up on her. This one doesn't want you anymore. Suck it up. Don't be the guy who won't take no as an answer. She is daring enough to dump you. Leave with some dignity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
curiouslysearching Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 If she dumped you and doesn't reach out to reconnect you're wasting your time. You chase she'll move away. Wait That is sound advice....let time reveal her intentions or lack thereof Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 In these situations we see or read into them what we want to see not necessarily reality. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 I saw her in the university last week and she tried to sexually arouse me by fixing her pants in a seductive way, also she has a page on Facebook that I was an admin in , she posted this lyrics on saturday " you fit me better than my favourite sweater " and my intuition is saying that this is a sign for me ... Gently, OP, for you to take either of those trivial observations and assume your ex is trying to contact you thereby is not rational. I know she's not over me because for weeks I've been seeing her and she panics , gets shocked and turns red when her eyes meet mine .If she's over me she'd act normal... The best assumption is that she is terrified of meeting you. Just leave her alone. You may find individual counseling helpful, to work on interpersonal issues. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andromania Posted April 11, 2017 Author Share Posted April 11, 2017 (edited) 5 months after she broke up with me she still resents me. Whenever she sees me in public she panics turns red and tension builds up in her face. Her body language betrays her. However on social media she doesn't hesitate twice to block me. yesterday she blocked me just for liking one post she shared after FIVE months of NC. She is clearly showing that she resents anything and holds a grudge against anything related to me. I was thinking of facing her with the intention of closure and just clearing things out. It's not healthy for her to act this way 5 months after the breakup And yes i do care about her , that's why i can't simply just " not care" Edited April 11, 2017 by Andromania Link to post Share on other sites
Altair0770 Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Yeah it's dumb. You also haven't followed NC if you had her on social media. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andromania Posted April 11, 2017 Author Share Posted April 11, 2017 Yeah it's dumb. You also haven't followed NC if you had her on social media. i had her on social media but i didn't like comment or even contact her once, i dont believe that you need to block or delete someone to stop contacting them Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 If she is running away from you in public how exactly do you think you will confront her? Block her on social media. It will help you to stop "loving her." You are holding on to what was. You have to let her go & move on. You have to work on not caring. Your plan will not get you answers. She doesn't have the words to give you the closure you seek. Stop pushing the issue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andromania Posted April 11, 2017 Author Share Posted April 11, 2017 If she is running away from you in public how exactly do you think you will confront her? Block her on social media. It will help you to stop "loving her." You are holding on to what was. You have to let her go & move on. You have to work on not caring. Your plan will not get you answers. She doesn't have the words to give you the closure you seek. Stop pushing the issue. it's hard for me to block her because part of me wants to keep some strings attached between us in case SHE started missing me and wanted me back.. i know it's stupid and hopeful.: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 It sounds like she can't stand you anymore. If you ever cared about her, you would respect her wishes and leave her alone and stop lurking on her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 it's hard for me to block her because part of me wants to keep some strings attached between us in case SHE started missing me and wanted me back.. i know it's stupid and hopeful.: If you get a cut or a bruise & it scabs over, but you keep picking at the scab it takes longer to heal. All you do is cause yourself to bleed over & over. That is what you are doing to yourself emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 5 months after she broke up with me she still resents me. Whenever she sees me in public she panics turns red and tension builds up in her face. Her body language betrays her. However on social media she doesn't hesitate twice to block me. yesterday she blocked me just for liking one post she shared after FIVE months of NC. She is clearly showing that she resents anything and holds a grudge against anything related to me. I was thinking of facing her with the intention of closure and just clearing things out. It's not healthy for her to act this way 5 months after the breakup And yes i do care about her , that's why i can't simply just " not care" Looking at her facebook is breaking NC. LIKING her facebook posts, is hardcore breaking NC. NC is forever man.. not just for 5 months. I would be pissed too if my ex "liked" something on my facebook - it's a major breach of boundaries. She's not shutting you out to be mean or resentful, she just has healthy boundaries in place and you are pushing them. The fact that you are doing anything on her facebook page is showing you that you are (1) needy, (2) disrespectful towards her boundaries, and (3) dense. It's just like breadcrumbs... and ex breaking contact for ANY reason other than reconciliation, is overstepping boundaries and it's unhealthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andromania Posted April 11, 2017 Author Share Posted April 11, 2017 Looking at her facebook is breaking NC. LIKING her facebook posts, is hardcore breaking NC. NC is forever man.. not just for 5 months. I would be pissed too if my ex "liked" something on my facebook - it's a major breach of boundaries. She's not shutting you out to be mean or resentful, she just has healthy boundaries in place and you are pushing them. The fact that you are doing anything on her facebook page is showing you that you are (1) needy, (2) disrespectful towards her boundaries, and (3) dense. It's just like breadcrumbs... and ex breaking contact for ANY reason other than reconciliation, is overstepping boundaries and it's unhealthy. thing is i was testing the waters, to see if she's receptive then i would approach her for reconciliation.. I think i shouldn't have played with fire Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 thing is i was testing the waters, to see if she's receptive then i would approach her for reconciliation.. I think i shouldn't have played with fire She dumped you. She needs to approach you for reconciliation, not the other way around. I dont care how meek or shy she is, she isnt going to let "mr right " get away if she dumped him and now seriously wants you back. Like others have said in this thread... she had the cajones to kick your ass to the curb and act ice cold while doing it. Dude, im a pretty bold person, but i wouldn't do that to my worst enemy, let alone someone i love. It takes some serious nerve. Trust me... she isnt as scared and delicate as you think. She doesnt want you back at this time - you are overanalyzing **** because you are desperate, and you are gonna seriously blow it for good. WALK away. Work on moving on. Consider her dead in your mind. If walks by you appearing all bashful or whatever, just ignore it, and keep walking. Its the only way she will ever even consider coming back. All your weird Facebook behavior is just driving it home for her that she made the right choice. If you want her to respect you, be attracted to you, and want you again... you seriously gotta walk and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Dude, seriously. She is running away from you. It's OVER. You are coming off as borderline stalker and an abuser. Leave her alone. You are becoming a good candidate for a restraining order. When someone says NO, it's a NO. Reasons don't matter. She is doesn't owe you any explanation. You were testing waters. You got your answer. Accept it and respect her enough to stay out of her life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NEB01 Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Checking her social media is not "stalkerish" it's human nature and irresistible at times. Who doesn't wonder what they ex is up to from time to time? How old are you OP? Link to post Share on other sites
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