Where have all the nice guys gone?!?!?!?

[Woggle]

That's what I try to do, "tough guy" on the outside, "nice guy" on the inside. I don't show my "nice" side too many people. I think the problem I have is that once I get interested in a girl, the "nice" side takes over, I just want to make her happy, etc. and the "tough guy" things goes away fast. Combine that with a severe case of "fear of abandonment" installed by my ex. and I turn in a clingy wuss. *shakes head*

 

I don't hear from her for 24 hours and I start wondering if she likes me anymore.... GAH, I wish I'd never met my ex...

 

I have learned to be a kind person with compassion bjt never a doormat. Quiote honestly if I have to be an aloof jerk with a woman I don't even want her. I am through with dating women who have issues with men and get bored when they are being treated right. It is not worth my time anymore. What is so great about my current girlfrind is the fact that I can show her my nice and sweet side and she truly appreciates it. I never feel like I have to play games or playa role with her and it is great.

[Measure ofall Things]

Are there really any nice guys left??????

 

Or has the idea of marriage, family, love and support been completely removed from society.

 

I am really trying to keep an open mind, and have high hopes that I'll meet someone that'll show me the love and respect that I give them, but I have no idea where these guys are???????

 

Any ideas?????

 

Because the more guys I date, the less hopefull I become. And I'm getting really tired of having my heart broken. Am actually almost ready to give up.

 

Any insight???

 

 

PLEASE don't give up! Good lord, how Ironic that you, a female, should be saying the same thing I've been saying for years! If you give up, then all that's left for us 'nice guys' are the heartless black widows waiting to suck the life out of us. I'm in California, and I can't tell you how much of a struggle it is. I'm saying/thinking exactly what you wrote, VERBATUM EVERYDAY!!! Goodness, why is it so easy to find a like-minded woman here on the web, but near impossible to do so right here at home!?!?

[Measure ofall Things]

Relationsh*t! Dane Cook is the best!!!

[JonnyMark]

<--- Nice guy.

 

Nice guys are hard to fine, very few is correct all the dudes i hang out are like "players" but I am the only nice guy which I think is correct saying we finish last. But if you want to find a nice guy, usually the shy ones are, they don't talk alot but have alot to say when spoken to.

Good way to spot them is go with a group of girls (your friends or something) to the mall, run into some guys, and try to spot the guys that arn't really saying anything just standing there acting like they are doing something.

 

EDIT: Anyone know where to buy a t-shirt or hoody, or anything that is worn (magnet for car will work), something that says the person is a nice guy? Anyone understand what I am trying to say though?

 

EDIT: Again, Anyone know where to go to make a t-shirt thats looks profession that says "Nice guy with Nice car" .

[kscholze]

someone list the qualities of a nice guy. I wonder if I am

[Topper]

Maybe we could get some of the woman here to define " Nice Guy" Be real in your definition. Think about the qualities you seek. Also who is your fanasty man? Everyone has thier ideal mate.

There have been a number of nice guys who have posted here. They pretty much say the same thing. " I'm a nice Guy and The womanI meet won't even give me the time of day" Why is that ladies?

Loony, I don't think Weird is that far off the mark. His bitterness and insecurity might just come from being rejected by woman.

[basscatcher]

honest, trustworthy, faithful, a gentleman, respectable, isn't self absorbed, says please and thank you, takes care of himself (healthwise--if he takes care of himself he will take care of who he loves--(love thyself first), is respectable of his mother (he will treat a potential wife with respect), pays attention to a womans feelings and listens to her when she needs to vent (remember what goes around comes around!), a nice guy is considerate of others and doesn't always take for himself or have to get something out of whatever, I'm a little older (36) and raised in very, very rural areas so I'm a bit old fashioned so to me a nice guy would typically open doors for a woman without hassle doing it, he wouldn't lose his identity being over obsessive of the woman but would still be caring and considerate of her. (He still needs to remain a man.) I like a man who likes to help me with harder things (ex: carrying grocerys in the house, helping with laundry{I have 4 flights of stairs to go up and down to do laundry}, he would change my oil for me so I dont have to do it (I change my own oil so I dont have to pay a garage!!), He would willinging involved me in his interests or at least ask me if I want to join him once in while, WHEN A MAN CAN THINK ABOUT THE WOMAN AND WANT TO SHARE HIS LIFE WITH HER AND HE IS INTERESTED IN BEING INVOLVED WITH HERS he is a nice guy. I find most men are selfish, self absorbed, shallow, expect perfection, don't have insight, want to bark orders of what the woman has too or should do and presume all woman are gold diggers and leeches. I'm sure I could come up with more but for the moment on quick thought this is what I came up with. Its a start.

 

**I like this thread... I too wonder where all the nice guys are. When I think I meet one he seems to fall off the face of the earth.. I was just told this weekend I was Too nice, Too caring, Too loving, Too giving by a guy I have known since March. I think men have been conditioned to only be attracted to B*itches... The nice guys who are married seem to be married to controlling snobby b*tches. Rarely have I met a nice guy married to a nice woman. I think it goes both ways. Society has programmed us to be interested in bad boy/bad girl type..

I for one am sick of it all. I want a man who is a man's kinda man but also can be true to his sensitive side when it comes to me.. A Nice Guy. You would think Minnesota would have them--if they exist where are they??

[basscatcher]

I don't think I can pick out someone who is a famous person as in looks. I know I'm attracted to a man when I see him. Being visually and physically attracted to a man is the first thing a woman generally notices. Not always.. Personality, quality, morals, values, humor are what truly catches and holds a womans interest. Each woman has her own tastes in who she is attracted too.

I for one like a combo man. He his rugged, but yet pretty. Can charm me and be very sweet yet he can be a real man and whoop it up with the guys over a sports game, fix a car, enjoys hunting and fishing. He can be comfortable in all clothing attire. A man that enjoys a variety of interests is also appealing to me. I don't like a solid city boy or country boy. I like the combo in a man. Dark hair is my preference, brown or blue eyes, a man taller then me so between 5"9 and 6"2 weighting from 175 lbs to around 200 depending on the height. I just know a man I like when I see him and watch him and listen to him then how he treats me...

[Topper]

As someone else in this thread said they are in Utah Oh wait a min I live in Utah

By the way I love my dear 81 year old mother. I'm kind to dogs cats and other furry critters. I open doors and change oil, fix a clogged drain. Pick up my own sock off the floor I also can do the Laundry. Besides that I can talk on a wide range of topics. Would love to have a GF come ski with me or at least take a long hike in the mountains. I am very romantic and very much once in a committed realationship a one woamn man. I would love if (we) as in the future GF and I could find something we could do together , like learn to play golf. Or whatever? I have a taste for good Wine and Food as well as sit down to watch a Football game with a Burger and a Beer. So you would think I'm Mr Perfect right? Wrong. The list of woman that have rejected me isa pretty long one. But when I was younger and very fit with bed room eyes and an attitude that i could have any girl I wanted. I did just about have every girl I wanted and then some.

[lilmoma1973]

Hey ,

I guess we have to except that sometimes what we want from a marriage isn't always what we get .. Maybe you have it in the beginning but alot the times it don't last!!

[fusangite]

Another nice guy here. Too nice aparently, and not good looking enough. Girls only want to be my friend.

 

I've been single for 7 years.

I'll see your seven and raise you three. And don't worry about your looks. It doesn't matter how good looking a nice guy is -- he'll still be single.

[BigB]

I'll see your seven and raise you three. And don't worry about your looks. It doesn't matter how good looking a nice guy is -- he'll still be single.

 

damn, 10 years? ouch! any dates or sex or anything in that time?

 

In my 7 years of being single I've had 2 girls get interested in me, both in the last 2 months. I've been on zero dates, zero sex, and kissed/made-out with one of those 2 girls. The other I'm not interested in.

 

The girl I want, (same one I made-out with on Thursday) has a boyfriend now, but as of 2 hours ago "still has feelings for me", says I'm "hot", would date me in a "heartbeat" if she didn't want to "try things with her boyfriend first", and calls me everyday....

 

*beats head on desk* whywhyhwhyhwhyhwyhwyhwhyhwhywhy!

 

women drive me crazy.....

[JS17]

But you have a really cute puppy BigB

[Woggle]

Every time a man is a nice guy women take advantage of it.

[BigB]

But you have a really cute puppy BigB

 

thanks!

 

Now I just need her to help me meet some girls...

[alphamale]

Every time a man is a nice guy women take advantage of it.

thats is pretty much true WOGGLE...

[JS17]

thanks!

 

Now I just need her to help me meet some girls...

 

Seriously dude, it's the one thing that has NEVER failed with me. I even met a gay couple because of their dog. It was this 4 month old miniature something that was the size of a beanie baby that tried to attack me and follow me home as I was leaving the park with a friend one day. I think I spent half an hour talking to them and playing with their dog. It's my weakness.

[BigB]

Seriously dude, it's the one thing that has NEVER failed with me. I even met a gay couple because of their dog. It was this 4 month old miniature something that was the size of a beanie baby that tried to attack me and follow me home as I was leaving the park with a friend one day. I think I spent half an hour talking to them and playing with their dog. It's my weakness.

 

, let's just say that my puppy and me spend a a lot of time at the park

[Woggle]

Seriously dude, it's the one thing that has NEVER failed with me. I even met a gay couple because of their dog. It was this 4 month old miniature something that was the size of a beanie baby that tried to attack me and follow me home as I was leaving the park with a friend one day. I think I spent half an hour talking to them and playing with their dog. It's my weakness.

 

Are you talking about Washington Square Park? I used to go there with some friends and hang out for hours.

[BigB]

Every time a man is a nice guy women take advantage of it.

 

Hence boyfriend girl calling me everyday and talking to me for hours... She talks to me more than she does her new boyfriend.

[Jayhawks]

Pity is such a no-win situation. We all fell sorry for people but does that change your circumstance. I don't believe in the "nice guy" scapegoat. There are plenty of nice guys on the world. I am a nice guy and I get dates with women. Find out what it is about yourself that you don't accept and work on changing that.

Women are not so hard to understand as this "nice guy" post states. They want what we ( guys ) want. You just have to find what it is you want and make it your goal. Many "nice guys" give up and use this trap to explain their failures. Don't buy it. Talk, smile and be friendly and confident. These are what women desire in a man. Speak your mind and have opinions. Respect a women and let her know you find her attractive and have no shame or embarrassment for that fact.

 

Be proud of being a man and let her be proud of her women-hood.

[JS17]

Hence boyfriend girl calling me everyday and talking to me for hours... She talks to me more than she does her new boyfriend.

 

Sorry guy, you have squarely landed in the friend zone. If you want her friendship then you're fine. If you want more than that then you need to get out of the situation or you will keep hanging on hoping and it will end up hurting you.

 

There is a difference between being a nice guy and a doormat. Don't listen to these guys and turn yourself into an a**h*** but if you're not getting what you want in a situation then leave it. You're letting her treat you as her backup and you should never be someone's second choice.

[ReluctantRomeo]

Are there really any nice guys left??????

 

I am really trying to keep an open mind, and have high hopes that I'll meet someone that'll show me the love and respect that I give them, but I have no idea where these guys are???????

 

Any insight???

 

 

Sure, if you're willing to accept a good dose of reality. I've hear this kind of reasoning from girls from time to time, so let me help you out here.

 

Loony is perfectly correct - the problem is not finding a nice guy, the problem is finding someone out there who satisfies the other criteria you impose. You may or may not be conscious of having an incredibly long list like Padameckla. But I bet you know single guys who are nice, but you wouldn't date for other reasons.

 

Alpha and the bad boy band have a point too - the chances are that one of those hidden conditions is that you're looking for nasty as well as nice.

[logged on]

There are still nice guys around, we´re shy, so you have to give us clues that you like us,

[fusangite]

damn, 10 years? ouch! any dates or sex or anything in that time?

I made out with two women in 2004, one in 2001 and one in 1998. I have been on dozens of dates.

 

Of the women I was physically intimate with, one (2001) I was not attracted to at all and was kind of physically repulsed by the experience. One (2004) was a mentally unstable sex addict who was systematically having sex with every man over 30 she could find; she rejected me in the middle of making out on our second date because I was insufficiently aggressive. One (2004) was a long-time friend who had been celibate for six years and developed a FWB situation where we saw eachother every two months or so -- she did not want to have a relationship or tell anyone what was happening; in fact, she was even ashamed to be seen in public with me. The other one (1998) was the wife of a friend with whom I had a very drunken one-night stand as a result of drinking very heavily after enduring an intense grilling by the board of an organization we were both working for.