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Where have all the nice guys gone?!?!?!?


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If I were a nice guy now, I'd say all the women who complain about not finding nice guys are hypocrites, because here I am and you still don't want me. Maybe it would simply be nicer to say that you want an attractive, self-confident, nice guy and not only a nice guy, because they exist in abundance and are extremely frustrated.

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Originally posted by loony

If I were a nice guy now, I'd say all the women who complain about not finding nice guys are hypocrites, because here I am and you still don't want me. Maybe it would simply be nicer to say that you want an attractive, self-confident, nice guy and not only a nice guy, because they exist in abundance and are extremely frustrated.

 

maybe it's cause i live in nyc but i've only ever met 3 nice guys (besides my dad :) ).

where exactly is it that they exist in abundance?

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Originally posted by loony

Maybe it would simply be nicer to say that you want an attractive, self-confident, nice guy

But LOONEY...you forget that most women want the above so these dudes are in high demand and low supply... esp the ones who also make decent money.

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because they exist in abundance and are extremely frustrated.

 

 

Do you mean " if you don't stop it you'll go blind" frustrated?.... :laugh:

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Originally posted by Outcast

Sorry but it's far too simplistic (and, frankly, simple-minded) to try to classify people into 'white hats' and 'black hats'. Talk to an abused woman someday - you'll find that the reason she stayed was precisely because the guy was never 'all bad' but rather had many good points as well as the bad ones. What you assume about Dean and Hanks is what the publicists want you to assume. They invented personas for these guys and sold them and you've bought them.

 

One of the best history lectures I ever attended was about why Catherine the Great wasn't all that great and why Ivan the Terrible wasn't really terrible. You'll miss out on some very good people if you go on image and perception alone.

 

 

they were examples, outcast, of people who we would all know. fine, so forget names--we'll use a gigolo and a candy-striper. sure, they may have both qualities of good and bad, but one of those is more reflected on each of them.

 

how about introverts and extroverts? they may both have characteristics of each other, but most certainly each lean closer to one side of the fence.

 

nevermind, you're taking it way too literally and making this much more complicated than it has to be. you're just not understanding, and i can't explain it any better. sorry.

 

and just for the record, i know you keep pushing the abused woman example, but that's an entity all its own, with other factors involved. her saying that he has good qualities does not make him a nice guy.

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Originally posted by JS17

maybe it's cause i live in nyc but i've only ever met 3 nice guys (besides my dad :) ).

where exactly is it that they exist in abundance?

I'm not sure if you're kidding or not. Maybe it's the location, New Yorkers are known to be rude (you're not, but that's what I heard quite a lot). But like I said, if you include good-looking and self-confident and some other highly desirable attributes in your equation, then those nice guys of course become rare.

 

Originally posted by alphamale

But LOONEY...you forget that most women want the above so these dudes are in high demand and low supply... esp the ones who also make decent money.

And? That wouldn't make her question less hypocritical.

 

Originally posted by Marshbear

Do you mean " if you don't stop it you'll go blind" frustrated?.... :laugh:

You heard this warning a couple of times, eh? :laugh:

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Yes OUTCAST...i'm sure that attending a cheese and wine tasting party with Hitler would have been quite a hoot!

 

You don't seem to comprehend that a few notable exceptions do not make a rule. Not exactly sure how to explain that to you.

 

we'll use a gigolo and a candy-striper. sure, they may have both qualities of good and bad, but one of those is more reflected on each of them.

 

I'd put it to you that a gigolo would have to be an extremely nice guy else he'd not get any business. It appears that your definitions of 'nice guy' and 'bad guy' have to do with morality. You shoulda said so. Talk about 'moral' and 'immoral' people if that's what you mean. Or 'squeaky clean' and 'somewhat tarnished'.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Us nice guys are still around. I might, ...make that ...I will put on false image to attract you, but I wouldn't lie about wanting a wife and kids now.

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Originally posted by Gold Pile

Us nice guys are still around. I might, ...make that ...I will put on false image to attract you, but I wouldn't lie about wanting a wife and kids now.

YOU???? :lmao:

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Originally posted by Star Gazer

Utah. :lmao:

 

they are right here...in the most ecstatically beautiful city in the WORLD!!!

 

<--------*as she brags to everyone*

 

It's true folks :)

 

Rosalind :bunny:

 

just to add : what's this about you being bitter, JS17???

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Originally posted by snowgirl75

Are there really any nice guys left??????

 

If I see one I'll be sure and let you know. :D

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where exactly is it that they exist in abundance?

 

Typically they exist waiting in line behind the a**h***s women collectively tend to suggest they prefer. Those are the guys they seem to date, to nice guys, anyway.

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Originally posted by Star Gazer

Utah. :lmao:

 

ok, that's kind of far. could they be hiding out in little pockets in the tri-state area? :laugh:

 

Originally posted by Rosalind

 

just to add : what's this about you being bitter, JS17???

 

i went through a one month period (ok, fine, longer than that) where i was bitter. i'm trying to change my tune but it doesn't seem to be getting easier. (plus, today would have been my crapiversary with mr.cheaterpants so it might not have been a good day to ask) I'm having a hard time believing that nice guys actually exist.

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Originally posted by JS17

i went through a one month period (ok, fine, longer than that) where i was bitter. i'm trying to change my tune but it doesn't seem to be getting easier. (plus, today would have been my crapiversary with mr.cheaterpants so it might not have been a good day to ask) I'm having a hard time believing that nice guys actually exist.

Yeah, my ex was a "Mr Cheaterpants" too!

 

Makes ya wanna just give up sometimes, eh?

 

The wrong relationsh*t can leave you messed up for a long time.

 

P.S. 'relationsh*t my new favorite word, hee hee.

 

Rosalind :bunny:

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Originally posted by Rosalind

[color=navy]Yeah, my ex was a "Mr Cheaterpants" too!

 

Makes ya wanna just give up sometimes, eh?

 

The wrong relationsh*t can leave you messed up for a long time.

 

P.S. 'relationsh*t my new favorite word, hee hee.

 

Rosalind :bunny: [/color]

 

omg, i love it. i'm using relationsh*t :laugh::bunny:

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  • 1 month later...

The nice guys are out there. I think the problem is many women who say they want a nice guy don't or they have a bunch of asterisks to their wish. IE:

 

"I want a nice guy...but he has to look like Brad Pitt"

 

It is highly unlikely to find a great all around nice guy who is also physically stunning because you know what? Most people who are widely regarded as beautiful dont need to be nice or good people since they know most humans are superficial and go based on looks.

 

I'm a nice guy. In fact, I am a great guy and I honestly think it'd be hard pressed to find a guy much better than me in terms of overall package since I have many good qualities (all the ones ladies say they want in a guy) and live a good "wealthy" lifestyle. But hey, I am an avg looking guy...now grab 50 women say aged 20-30 and put me in a room with a guy who is better looking than me but is inferior to me in every way and works at McDonalds. Who do you think will get more of the interest even if all 50 women knew exactly the type of guy we were? That's right, he will.

 

Us nice guys are out there but msot women don't seem to want the nice guy...yet. I am sure when they get into their mid-late 30s and get off the idea of having a Brad Pitt lookalike bf to impress their friends they finally settle down with the good nice guys who treat them like gold.

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Most women don't want nice guys. When they get nice guys they get bored. I admit I am a bad boy who has a nice guy living inside him. I let that nice guy out when i feel a woman is worth it. I am the type to give a person the shirt off my back but I also have a spin. To me there is a shortage of good women.

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I have the same problem with guys as you do.

 

It seems that all the good guys are taken, I've almost given up.

I hope you have better luck then I have

 

buzzie2

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im a nice guy. where are the women that know what they want?

 

haha, very true :laugh:

 

ive been the nice guy since HS (5 years) and it doesnt get you ANYWHERE!

 

wait i tell a lie... it did once and she was a nutter with MAJOR issues and she wanted someone that wasnt going to judge her etc etc

 

well i put up with it for 6 wonderful months before i realised that nice guys are always gonna finish dead last.

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Weird, I don't think it's that much about looks. I rather think women don't really like hanging out with you, because you sound a bit angry and negative. If you were really confident you wouldn't blame it on looks, because often looks play a less important role than people think. If you told me that you believed that a good-looking guy at McDonalds would have better play than an average looking yet smart and fun guy I'd say you're way too insecure for my taste. Also people don't like it when they are not judged on an individual basis and instead are stereotyped because of some black sheep. Woggle, you're a riot. :bunny:

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What men need to do is be a bad boy who has a sensitive side. Get into a fight and then rescue a kitten. It works wonders on women. I am a bad boy but I let Mr nicey come put and play sometimes.

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What men need to do is be a bad boy who has a sensitive side. Get into a fight and then rescue a kitten. It works wonders on women. I am a bad boy but I let Mr nicey come put and play sometimes.

 

That's what I try to do, "tough guy" on the outside, "nice guy" on the inside. I don't show my "nice" side too many people. I think the problem I have is that once I get interested in a girl, the "nice" side takes over, I just want to make her happy, etc. and the "tough guy" things goes away fast. Combine that with a severe case of "fear of abandonment" installed by my ex. and I turn in a clingy wuss. *shakes head*

 

I don't hear from her for 24 hours and I start wondering if she likes me anymore.... GAH, I wish I'd never met my ex...

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