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Where have all the nice guys gone?!?!?!?


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First of all, who ever said that women are good, wonderful and heavenly creatures and us men are hideous, dirty ogres in witch case we have only some exemptions(that confirm the rule) that every woman is looking for?(cos this is the idea that i got from this topic)

 

I for one belive in individuals, and if u(the women who think that are so perfect) belive that u'l find a guy out there who is going to satisfie u'r every fantasy(witch implies beeing perfect, therefor not human) u can wait a long time, forever actualy.When u find a guy u like(looking i mean) u give him a chanse ,and if u realy like how he looks u'l even get over his huge gap of personality from u'rs, thats a fact.

 

And if u finaly decide to give one of the guys(guys whit other qualities, like a caracter or personality u'd like) u end up leaving them cos u didn't wana be with them in the first place and look for the tiniest think that u dislike in him.

 

People are shelfish they want other people to like them for who they are and be loved back by someone that loves them as much as they do, to be treated by someone as they wold treat them shelf witch is impossible.

 

So ladies, and gentleman if u find someone witch carecter u like(this doesn't go for the young people who just wana have sex why they are young)try to get over u'r shellfishes and try to see what u'r flaws(u might even ask) and try to talk to the partner about his own flows and try to fit to each other's personality.

 

Hope i wasn't to hard on ya, cos i don't care anymore :p (and if i'm roang tell me, but ask u;r best friend firs)

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ReluctantRomeo
That's easy for you to say. You're not the one who ate a bad prawn last night. :(

 

Is that why you've been making prank cattle calls at 3am? :p

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Goodness, why is it so easy to find a like-minded woman here on the web, but near impossible to do so right here at home!?!?

Now be careful what you're saying. I'd say that most people on the net are just hiding their ugly side better and if you met them in real life you would discover that they suck as much as the other people you're dealing with on a daily basis.

 

It's also possible that you're not attracted to a lot of real-life people who possess the potential for building up a successful relationship with you and therefore you never bother to get to know them better. Right now she's just words on a screen and the rest is left to your fantasy.

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.... So you would think I'm Mr Perfect right? Wrong. The list of woman that have rejected me isa pretty long one. But when I was younger and very fit with bed room eyes and an attitude that i could have any girl I wanted. I did just about have every girl I wanted and then some.

 

Huh...so if you used to have every girl you ever wanted, what happened that you no longer do?

 

Also, you mention something about personal fitness - Sorry, but I'm going on a tangential rant on this topic.....

 

Why do men think it's perfectly okay to reject women who are less then fit if the man himself is also less than fit?? What makes them think that it's okay for themselves to be out of shape and hit on women who do keep fit? Like - heeelllloooo - it's obviously important to her to keep in reasonable shape :rolleyes: - maybe she does not like excessive weight whether on her or you!

 

A good example is a friend of mine. He is quite a bit overweight, and couldn't find a girlfriend. But still, one by one, he tried hitting on all the pretty (and in shape) women in the social circle. After failing at this for 7 years, he started dating a really awesome lady that he met online (they're moving in together - I'm so happy for him!). Yet at first, he was ashamed to introduce her to his friends because she was rather wide. WTF???? :eek:

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I have gone out with both "nice guys" and "bad boys", and at the end of the day, my thoughts remain with the bad ones... I guess it all comes down to human nature... drinking and smoking isn't nearly as much fun when you can just walk into the store and buy a pack of smokes and a case of beer... it's far more enjoyable when you're under age and have to scheme and plot in order to get it... it's the fulfillment of a challenge. A girl who can get a romantic evening from a bad boy has earned it, and has achieved something, so it has more value. If she can just mention that she loves roses, and find a dozen waiting at her doorstep, sure they're pretty, but she'll just step over them and let them wilt... as if she just walked into the store and bought them herself.

 

Humans are for the most part deviant in nature, back to the under age smoking/drinking... of course people still enjoy a beer and a smoke once they are of age, but it doesn't have the same thrill as when it was forbidden. The breaking point in a relationship for me is the moment my mother says to me, "I like this one, he's a keeper".

 

On the other hand, I will not put up with being treated like crap, there is a difference between an a**h*** and a bad boy. Keep that in mind and hopefully you'll get somewhere.

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Well megabit15, since you ask what happened, is what happens to everyone I aged. So you could say life happened. I don't have the time to spend two hours a day working out. Not sure I want to do the Hair Plugs or Plastic surgery to cover up some nasty scars. By the way where did I say I only want after perfect woman? Maybe as a young man I might have had a pretty shallow view of woman and sexuality. At some point I came to see that the flaws can make a person even more beautiful.

So yes there were times in my life that I acted the part of the to cool obnoxious male and believe it or not, woman tended to go more for that obnoxious jerk then the rather shy sweet guy that I was. Mr Jerk was a mask I wore to protect The shy insecure man that was really me.

 

I was channel surfing the TV a few nights back on one of those News magazine shows they had a segment on seminars put on by "Pick Up Artist" It was rather revealing to watch as The nice guy use the bad boy approach and won the girl.

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konfuzd u seem to be one of the few like 0.00...01 pc of the women who knows wath they wanth, and that is a progress(i'm not saying that the statistics are better with men)

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By the way where did I say I only want after perfect woman?

Topper,

You didn't at all - I totally went off on a tangent there - sorry :o

 

Maybe as a young man I might have had a pretty shallow view of woman and sexuality. At some point I came to see that the flaws can make a person even more beautiful.

Isn't that the truth? I think as we get a little older, we tend to realize that character is more important than externals.

 

So yes there were times in my life that I acted the part of the to cool obnoxious male and believe it or not, woman tended to go more for that obnoxious jerk then the rather shy sweet guy that I was. Mr Jerk was a mask I wore to protect The shy insecure man that was really me.

I think we like to know a guy can be somewhat tough, but very tender underneath. I really don't get women who go for the obnoxious jerk attitude. Honestly, I totally run the other way from that - probably because I think they are either full of s*** or full of themselves.

 

 

I was channel surfing the TV a few nights back on one of those News magazine shows they had a segment on seminars put on by "Pick Up Artist" It was rather revealing to watch as The nice guy use the bad boy approach and won the girl.

That's kinda sad. I dunno what to say for the female species on that one :o

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It is kind of curious thing about woman saying they want the nice guy but falling for The jerk. Seems that there are now seminars being given by these so called pick up artist. They also sell DVD with tips and techniques to pick up woman. Men are paying big money to learn how to manipulate woman. Part of it is playing on a woman's insecurity. Taking away her upper hand in that little game of boy meet girl Since so many woman seem to have a very deep insecurity about how they look you find something about her and tease her about it. Do it in a light way but make sure she knows you have spotted her flew. One of the lines that was suggested

when talking to a woman, was to say to her something like "I would rather have my teeth pulled then continue this conversation with you'' I'm not sure what this all says about us , I think a good serious study needs to be done.

Think I'm going to google, "picking up woman" and see what I come up with.

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SilentPrayer
Are there really any nice guys left??????

 

Or has the idea of marriage, family, love and support been completely removed from society.

 

I am really trying to keep an open mind, and have high hopes that I'll meet someone that'll show me the love and respect that I give them, but I have no idea where these guys are???????

 

Any ideas?????

 

Because the more guys I date, the less hopefull I become. And I'm getting really tired of having my heart broken. Am actually almost ready to give up.

 

Any insight???

 

 

Beauty is not skin deep..maybe you aren't looking in the right places. I let my eyes decide how hungry I am when I am putting my stuff on my plate for dinner...maybe your doing the same thing in relationship ways?

Not all frogs look like frogs..sometimes they look pretty hansome.

 

STOP KISSING FROGS.

lol

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A girl who can get a romantic evening from a bad boy has earned it, and has achieved something, so it has more value. If she can just mention that she loves roses, and find a dozen waiting at her doorstep, sure they're pretty, but she'll just step over them and let them wilt... as if she just walked into the store and bought them herself.

 

The breaking point in a relationship for me is the moment my mother says to me, "I like this one, he's a keeper".

 

I find both these quotes utterly fascinating. I somehow thing the second comment is whack, but the first ... well, I wonder if this is not perhaps the most insightful thing I've read here in a long time.

 

Makes me wonder if a woman subconsciously wants to have to work for his affection. Hmmm....

 

Curt

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Seems that there are now seminars being given by these so called pick up artist. They also sell DVD with tips and techniques to pick up woman. Men are paying big money to learn how to manipulate woman. Part of it is playing on a woman's insecurity. Taking away her upper hand in that little game of boy meet girl Since so many woman seem to have a very deep insecurity about how they look you find something about her and tease her about it. Do it in a light way but make sure she knows you have spotted her flew. One of the lines that was suggested

when talking to a woman, was to say to her something like "I would rather have my teeth pulled then continue this conversation with you'' I'm not sure what this all says about us , I think a good serious study needs to be done.

Think I'm going to google, "picking up woman" and see what I come up with.

 

Yep, and I know of which author you're speaking. All I can say is that a lot of his stuff is sheer brilliance. It sounds so counter-intuitive, and yet ... it works.

 

Wild.

 

Curt

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Do the means justify the end?

Do the means alter the end?

And what impact have the means on the practioner?

 

In short, is it all worth it? A person may now think: "Yes", and forever believe that, but not because it is a true reflection of him / her. But thinks so, because of a need that has been unfulfilled. Which immediately leads back to the question why some people experience that need much stronger than others...

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The woman that catches my heart is the one that I don't have to act like a jerk to catch her heart. If a woman falls for the badboy act I don't want her.

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Yep, and I know of which author you're speaking. All I can say is that a lot of his stuff is sheer brilliance. It sounds so counter-intuitive, and yet ... it works.

Who are you talking about?

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I did my little google search and damn There are pages and pages of authors , Books Cd's DVDs Seminars and the like That all claim to have the secret key to picking up woman. There maybe thousands of such sites on the net! Most do have something about being the bad boy to win over woman. Some stated you can play into a couple of groupings such as The Provider In other words you come off as a someone that is long term relationship material, Then there is the Lover someone who is good for sex now.

Yes there is something to this counter intuitive approach. As I understand it woman put on their armor before going out. Part of it is dressing to attract just so she can shoot guys down, It feeds her ego to turn down men. She is really looking for the guy who can get past her defences. Even in this day and age the female still wants to be conquered by the male. Ultimately in the end she is still the winner since she gets what she wants. It does sound all convoluted. Since we are all human who said that this mating dance has to make any more sense? Look at the rest of the weird stuff we Humans do?

I would like to see a real scientific study done on this subject. Both men and woman would benefit from such a study.

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i think tht there are less men than women out there ...god just stopped making em right 22 yrs ago....hence the shortage.........hehehe

 

but honestly i dont buy that..... i think there are nice men out there, each have their defects, their becoming nice depends upon how much of the negative things can you chose to ignore thts it!when you find someone whose issues you can deal with ........there will be your mr nice guy!!!!!!!!

 

love is blind remember...........

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hey topper,

 

what i mean is i think there are really nice guys.the truth is people are looking for their perfect guy so hard that they are not willing to ignore a couple of things to actually meet someone who is gr8.

 

the reason i said love is blind because when you really love someone it may turn out that he is/was not what you had in mind but someone whose certain negative characteristics were overuled by the positive ones.so you can really meet some gr8 guys because sometimes the guy we think is perfect is not what we need.

 

i hope you got what i meant.

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True Blue, I now get your point. thank you I have also thought that as a society we have raised the bar to high of what and who is the perfect man or woman. We are told The perfect mate should be this or that. Rather then examining ourselves and what our real needs are we rely to much on what is presented to us as the "ideal man or woman."

Since we don't have any real idea of who we are how can we choose who would be a good partner in a relationship?

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Topper you make an excellent point makes you put things in perspective a little better thanks

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Nice? Is That The Word,

Well Few Monthes Ago I Asked This Girl Out, Well I Work At A Station And Make A Very Good Living, At The Time I Had A Tie And Nice Business Casual Clothing And She Told Me That She Likes Big Guys With Tattoos And Pants Hung Down To Almost There Butts Are Naked And Mean Look.

Well Few Weeks Later She Is Dating This Guy Of Her Choice. One Day I Went To The Store Found Out That She Had Called Out 2 Days Later She Comes In With Too Many Scars To Her Face I Don't Know About The Rest But She Looked Like She Just Came Out Of Washing Machine.

Point Is That Women Are Looking For What They Want Is A Bad Thing But Trying To Get Something Good Out Of It.

NOW I DO IS JUST WAIT I BELIEVE THAT THE RIGHT WOMAN WILL ASK ME OUT ON HER OWN CUS AFTER ALL I WANT A WOMAN WHO KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS KNOWS HOW TO GET IT.

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ReluctantRomeo
I have also thought that as a society we have raised the bar to high of what and who is the perfect man or woman. We are told The perfect mate should be this or that. Rather then examining ourselves and what our real needs are we rely to much on what is presented to us as the "ideal man or woman."

Since we don't have any real idea of who we are how can we choose who would be a good partner in a relationship?

 

Exactly. :cool:

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