MikeJaz Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 So basically it has happend to be a little over 30 days since my ex dumped me via text saying she "didn't want it enough". I responded with "That is all you needed to say, best of luck". I really wasn't all that upset and carried on. I never spoke or acknowledged her if I happened to see her at work. Basically acted as if she didn't exist. However I did notice her stealing looks at me every once and awhile. I am not going to lie, a few weeks after I did start to miss her a little bit. However I was also dating other women and got back into photography while also learning a new language. Generally just improving myself. On a whim I decided to text her (that just happened to be about 30 days) to see if she wanted to hang out at X on Y (maybe this was a big screw up on my part). If she said no, that would have been absolutely fine and that would have been the end of it. Honestly I totally expected her to not respond, make up an excuse or just say no. However she replied asking what time. Sent her a text with just the time and she agreed and I left it at that. We met up at the place and had a bunch of fun playing games and what not. She looked pretty excited to see me. Had lots of joking, teasing, laughing and smiles. We split all the costs and at the end I walked her to her car and gave her a tight hug and said I'll see you soon. In hindsight I probably should have said "see you around" instead. She followed up asking about my work schedule and then we said goodbye. From what I am reading and what a few people have told me is that I should not initiate contact with her post hanging out. If she really wanted to start seeing me again she will contact me. I am also dating this other girl at the moment. However, I genuinely like spending my time with her and it is crazy because we totally click together. I could really use some advice. The only real reasons I can think of that she left me was that she had backed off hard after our 4th date was that she was either testing me on how clingy/needy I was and totally failed. I chased way too hard. Or because our living situations simply never gave us any alone time. But of course it could have been anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Bejangled Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 Hi MikeJaz The real way to get to the bottom of this situation is to meet her again and come right out and ask her why she cooled the relationship in the first place. Seriously, ask her. You may be very surprised by the answer. You could waste so much time guessing, then second-guessing but really, the best way for both of you, is to come right out and prod that big white elephant in the room. I like how you said that you carried on with dating new women, doing your photography and language classes etc. It seems like you're strong enough and prepared enough to have enough self confidence to cope no matter what happens. So for this reason, I say go ahead and be upfront and straight-talking with her. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 Wait, im confuse, 4th date? So were you guys in a relationship or is this someone you just started seeing? Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 (edited) Wait, im confuse, 4th date? So were you guys in a relationship or is this someone you just started seeing? Excuse me OP for using your thread. Hey Jamili I can't message you?? Edited April 15, 2017 by MeadowFlower Link to post Share on other sites
Author MikeJaz Posted April 15, 2017 Author Share Posted April 15, 2017 Hi MikeJaz The real way to get to the bottom of this situation is to meet her again and come right out and ask her why she cooled the relationship in the first place. Seriously, ask her. You may be very surprised by the answer. You could waste so much time guessing, then second-guessing but really, the best way for both of you, is to come right out and prod that big white elephant in the room. I like how you said that you carried on with dating new women, doing your photography and language classes etc. It seems like you're strong enough and prepared enough to have enough self confidence to cope no matter what happens. So for this reason, I say go ahead and be upfront and straight-talking with her. Good luck! Hmm... I think it may be a little late to meet her now. I had sent her a text saying that we should go see X movie at Y at Z. 10 seconds later I got a text back saying "maybe". Responded with "K let me know by tomorrow so I can make other plans". She never ended up responding, which is fine. I may have shot myself in the foot with that but whatever. Honestly I was expecting a yes, no or an excuse again but she gave me the maybe. If I happen to catch her at work when we are alone or after work I'll ask to chat. But now I feel it is going to be kinda awkward when we see each other because she knows she left me hanging when she could have just said no and I would have been fine with that. She already rejected me before and I didn't get mad at her so why not just say no this time? So technically this makes it the third time she has "rejected" me. The first time was before we even went out on a date. But then still agreed to go out... and we ended up having a good time. Second was what I said in the OP and third is now. Wait, im confuse, 4th date? So were you guys in a relationship or is this someone you just started seeing? Yeah sorry, that was a typo. Asked the mods to change the title. Link to post Share on other sites
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