AlexM123 Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Hello everyone! Before I start I should say I've never been in a real life relationship, they've all been with girls online I never ended up meeting. (Sad I know). But still have been heartbroken dozens of time and hate it. I should also say up until I was about 17 I never really cared about girls or dating whatsoever (I'm 20 now). Had girls I like ask me out but said no because it was never that important to me which looking back on I definitely regret. Then everything changed when I started talking to girls online. Don't know another way to say this but I've basically fallen in "love" with a girl online within a week. I have no clue why I fall so hard so fast. Being in love is definitely the best feeling in the world to me so that's probably why. I honestly think I'm the most insecure/jealous person on the planet. My jealousy alone is definitely making my life worse than it has to be. I honestly don't know how to change that, I've been going to the gym everyday since my last breakup a few months ago but don't know if that'll 100% fix it.. I'm naturally a very emotional and sensitive person and give full effort into my relationships and become very needy/attached. Is is even possible to continue to be lovey and so invested into a relationship but at the same time not become super depressed when it ends? That's my ultimate goal I guess. Guess I just wanted to get advice on how to kinda fix my insecurities so that when I get into a real life relationship I can give it my best and it could have a chance to last. I don't want to become some heartless guy because that's not me but it definitely beats getting heartbroken. Link to post Share on other sites
Knix Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Why is it that you feel insecure? I think falling for someone so quickly without knowing them is also an insecure trait.. Working on yourself is a great step towards feeling good, but I think sometimes confidence just takes practice. Think about what you want in a relationship and don't settle. Fake it til you make it when it comes to confidence as well, it will start to become habitual if you keep practicing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexM123 Posted April 10, 2017 Author Share Posted April 10, 2017 Why is it that you feel insecure? I think falling for someone so quickly without knowing them is also an insecure trait.. Working on yourself is a great step towards feeling good, but I think sometimes confidence just takes practice. Think about what you want in a relationship and don't settle. Fake it til you make it when it comes to confidence as well, it will start to become habitual if you keep practicing. I don't really know exactly, probably because I know no matter what there will be many guys more attractive than me so what's stopping my gf to just leave me for someone else? Also doesn't help my most recent ex broke up with me to date another guy. And yea I never really thought about how falling so fast for someone I've never met is unusual since it was always normal for me. I just want to be able to get into a relationship and not worry about what's she doing and be one of those paranoid boyfriends. Just seems kinda impossible at this point. I'm definitely a pessimist and overthink a lot so I have a terrible mindset for this. Link to post Share on other sites
Knix Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Are you struggling with weight or do you think youre just not good looking? The funny thing about attraction is that for women, the emotional aspect is equally if not more important that appearance. Men are very physical creatures while women tend to be emotional, which means that if you have confidence and can be funny/supportive/have integrity, you will appear as a Brad Pitt regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Get off the internet & start living your real life. Interact with people in person When you have more than a box your insecurities & jealousy will go down because you will have non-verbal cues, you will have touch & things will be better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexM123 Posted April 11, 2017 Author Share Posted April 11, 2017 Are you struggling with weight or do you think youre just not good looking? The funny thing about attraction is that for women, the emotional aspect is equally if not more important that appearance. Men are very physical creatures while women tend to be emotional, which means that if you have confidence and can be funny/supportive/have integrity, you will appear as a Brad Pitt regardless. Not necessarily a struggle with weight but definitely not where I'd like to be. And that's kinda my main issue, I hate virtually no confidence whatsoever and mixing that with my extreme shyness doesn't help. I'd like to think I'm attractive based on the past girls who've asked me out and online girls saying I am (for what's that worth). Im sure if I could actually go up and talk to girls I'd have a good shot but it's a huge fear for me. Get off the internet & start living your real life. Interact with people in person When you have more than a box your insecurities & jealousy will go down because you will have non-verbal cues, you will have touch & things will be better. Thank you, I'm definitely done with the whole online dating thing. What sucks about that is now i kinda have nobody to talk to but it beats online friends I guess. As I said above, just the thought of talking to a girl I think is attractive scares me to death. May think I'm joking but I've never actually had a female friend. Probably over exaggerating this but I really feel like if I just had ONE female friend everything would change for the better. The fact I even feel this desperate for a relationship is probably a bad sign in itself. Link to post Share on other sites
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