I feel so low

[ashleysazari]

I was dating my ex for about 3 years WE WORK TOGETHER.... we broke up because he started dating someone new. This was in 2015. Around September 2016 he started pursuing me again and stated that he was single. He would even tell coworkers that he was single again and that his ex wanted too much of his time. So we started seeing each other a lot. He spent Christmas night with me. Even on valentines day we both were at work all day. So nothing seemed sketchy.

 

This past Friday the girl he claimed was his ex reached out to me.She asked me what was going on between us. I was honest. I told her we had been sleeping together and that he usually comes to my house most nights after work. We exchanged messages she sent me evidence of him sleeping with other women at our job. One of the women is someone whos shoulder I cried on when we had problems. She also told me that he told her constantly that he hates me and I stalk him. He would make it seem like I text him constantly and he never responded. I showed her the screenshots of him messaging me. Lovey-Dovey sound recordings. My call log where he would call me after work. To be clear I never stalked him. Even when I would cut him off he would constantly call me.

 

We talked all day from fri- sat on Instagram we never exchanged numbers. Sunday she asked me to meet up with her and his mom ( whom I knew already) because they wanted to show me other evidence that they found. I met up with them at a local park. I would've never went if his mom didn't ask me. I have a lot of respect for her. We put everything out in the open about the truth and she told me that she no longer believed I'm a stalker and that she was breaking up with him.

 

After the park She and his mom went and got her things from his moms house (yup she was living with him and his mom and I didn't know). His mom encouraged her to leave and encouraged her to move on with her life and also told her that she would talk to him and tell him to leave both of us alone. She also asked me not to expose him at work or anything like that. I gave them both my word. She also told me that if he bothers me to let her know instead of retaliating.

 

After that we sat at a bar and we agreed to move and with life and that it was no more hard feelings between us. He kept calling her and begging her. I have his number blocked I can't even look at him at this moment. Turns out the girl he was sleeping with at work called him and told him that we were together. He called her and told her that I was only wanting to make amends because I was plotting to break them up and be with him. UNTRUE!! I was only honest with everything I said. He didn't know I was still around so basically he started pouring his heart out to her saying that he loves her more than anyone he's ever loved and he will do anything to make it work. He was telling her that I was making everything up and that the text were fake and the recordings weren't his voice. She didn't seem phased by it at all and only told him that she wanted to be by herself. It was extremely painful to witness the man I'm in love with tell some other girl he loves her and HATES me. It was so hard to listen to . He kept telling her over and over "if u leave shes just gonna come back to me and backstab you!" After she hung up with him she kept saying " he's only freaking out right now but he'll be ok".

 

I went home and had the absolute worst headache ever. I didn't feel like I did anything wrong it was so hard for me because I was only honest when she asked. I was honest with his mom and everything. I knew her already so it was just like a normal conversation to me. When I woke up I sent her one final message and told her that I never intended to break them up and that I was honest and I hope she doesn't think it was intentional. I noticed shortly after the message that she deleted pics of him. Hours later she read my message and didn't respond. Then a few hours later she erased any trace of her ever messaging me. So my first thought was "oh Boy he sweet talked her back and now shes gonna set me up as if she never messaged me" But then I thought about it and I figured maybe she just wants to delete every trace of him period. My friends told me that she probably never wants to talk to me because she got the information she needed and left him. Idk I just thought it was a little sketchy that she deleted our entire conversation.(Any take on this?) I mean she didn't block me or anything just deleted our messages. She DID mention when we were talking that her cousins were saying, "why are you even talking to her?" So I guess it sank in.

 

I return to work today and I'm TERRIFIED he will be there I cant look at him and also every girl he slept with will be there and now I feel like a complete joke. I can't look at him I know he's gonna torture me. Probably make fun of me if she went back and if she didn't go back then I feel it'll be much worse. Of course I never intended to be friends with her but I just feel like the bad guy now and I feel the lowest of low I've ever felt in my life.

 

I was only honest.

[Space Ritual]

This is a perfect example of why it is usually a bad idea to date coworkers.

 

Too much drama.

 

You should have never gone to meet them in person. You have to understand that blood is thicker than water and even if his mother was telling you one thing to your face, you should always assume that a mother will back up her children no matter what.

 

So now your job, your money will be affected by all of this.

 

It's time to go to Human resources. If you don't somebody else will, and if that happens you know who will not benefit from that? You.

 

You owe this schlub, his girlfriend or his mother, nothing.

[kendahke]

It's never a good idea to include anyone's mother or father in on your relationship business with their son/daughter. Telling on a grown man who chose to behave the way he did isn't going to accomplish anything. More than likely, they will just nag him, but it's not like they're going to disown him. I'm sure he doesn't care if he disappointed him--especially there is too many willing chicks at your job for him to go through, apparently.

 

I also would never agree to anything that would jeopardize my income stream. His mother was out of line with that.

 

He would not be the person I'd be afraid of: the HR manager is the one I'd be afraid of. Get familiar with your company's policy on coworkers dating to make sure you haven't crossed a line yourself. I would have told his mom that if her son starts some mess at work, you're going to finish it and too bad if that results in him losing his job. Should have stayed in his lane.

 

Never poop where you eat. This is exactly why it's a horrible idea to date coworkers.

[smackie9]

wow stop being such a damn push over. This guy is a manipulator and well.... dudes like that truly need to be exposed. His mother is a d-bag too. She enables his bad behavior. He is certainly cruel and she protects him...ppfft, to hell with your word....from what I have seen here why should you keep it when no one else has...time to fight fire with fire.

 

If it was me I would find another job and get out of there before turning the wheels of revenge.

[d0nnivain]

Why do you feel bad, other than for allowing yourself to be fooled? This guy's own mother was the one who helped alert you to what a cad her son is. Yikes! She had enough respect for you to want you & the woman her son lived with to know the truth about him. (Poor woman. How did a class act like her end up with a son like him?)

 

 

Keep your personal life out of work. Be cool, aloof & professional when dealing with him or those who know him. If anybody from work brings it up, redirect the conversation pointedly back to work as in, "I thought we were here to discuss the project no gossip."

 

 

Do look around for a new job or at least a transfer to a far away department.