freengreen Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 (edited) I can see its hurting you. This pain of yours sucks, most of us have been there and trying to move forward because longer you linger over that area ( person) deeper it gets. She lead you, we get it but this is what you reap when you follow. You seem to be senstive towards feelings, affairs are callous, please dont get into one, they are rough seas. Only steely emotionless hearts swim through without scars. Close the shop. Start new, be careful because bait is always juiciest of foods. You might or might not find a girl who could woo you as she did but you are most liky to find a better heart, thats a much better deal Takecare. Edited April 12, 2017 by freengreen Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 As far as you had to sneak around with her and she was still living in the marital home, this was always an affair with a married woman. I actually think that blocking her from any form of contact would be even more effective than telling her husband. Even if she tries to get through to you and succeeds, ignore her. Nothing hurts worse than being ignored. Put it down to experience and get out there and find yourself a single available woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Inspiteofrselves Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 She sounds unstable and unready for anything significant. She may not have consciously used you, but she didn't care for or look out for you the way you deserve. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AutumnMoon Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 If someone tells you they're in the process of getting a divorce you would demand to see papers? Come on, you take people at their word unless they give you a reason to do otherwise. And I saw her in person, many times. We were intimate and she told me in person that she loved me and I was the best thing about life, then did a 180 out of the blue. You're basically saying that even if she wasn't honest and said things she didn't mean that messed with my head it's ok because I should've known better and not gotten attached? If someone tells you they love you, and you have every reason to believe they're being honest, when they start acting totally different for no reason it hurts. You know what I'm pretty sure she probably took you at your word when you said you loved her. What makes you think she would expect somebody who she believes loved her would throw her under the bus because she wasn't giving him enough attention? Grow up, if you feel used and do not want to be with her anymore tell her that and MoveOn seeking revenge won't do you any good. Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Here is what you do: treat the situation just like you would if she had been single, slept with you and then ghosted you. If she were single, you would just move on . You wouldn't act all clingy and weird. Let it go. Her marriage is none of your business, stay out of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 So, I'll make this as short as I can... I've known this girl for a long time, like 15 years. About 8 years ago, we kind of had a "night" together, but didn't really talk again until a couple months ago, when we just started texting all day, talking on the phone for hours, sexting and exchanging pics, saying we loved eachother, etc. She led me to believe she was going to get a divorce soon, so I didn't really think much of the husband. Then a couple weeks ago, she just says she can't do this, it was too much to fast, can't we slow down, and now she's just acting totally different. She'll make excuses for not responding and everyone she knows is sick. Blah blah blah. I asked straight up if she just wasn't interested any more, and she swears that's not it, but that I deserve more, that she's trying but it just isn't the same at all and I feel worse and stupider all the time. She used me huh? And now she just wants me to go away without her being the bad guy? She says sorry for somethibg, like ignoring a text or "falling asleep" then does it again within a day or so. Should I just assume I was used and go no contact? I know I should, it's hard, i really did love this girl Yes you were used. But you knew she was married from the get go. And, even though she said she'd divorce you also knew she was still living with her husband. You chose to believe a married woman. Let go, move on and don't look back. She's not worth your time or energy. Have a good cry and let yourself grieve, then pick yourself up and live your life without her. Don't call her, don't chase her. Go NC . Link to post Share on other sites
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