adreamwithinadream Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 (edited) Im struggling to find out who I really am and who I'm supposed to be in life I'm 24 years old and I have two children. Had my first when I was 18 years old. Been in a relationship with their dad for 8 years now and he was my first everything and only man I have ever been with. I love being a mom and I love their dad but at the same time I feel like i don't love myself! I have been trying to work on myself and be a better person. I have started working out and that makes me feel better. I went to school to get a career because I wanted to better myself but I don't think this career is for me. every time I think about it I get the wrost anxiety and I hate it. I know that this career is not for me but I invested so much time and effort into it and I feel like if I don't do it I will be letting everyone down. I want to be best the person I can be but I don't think this career is for me and this taking a big toll on how I feel about myself . I feel like an absolute failure and a quitter. Edited April 12, 2017 by adreamwithinadream Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 You are not letting anybody down by changing careers. You may have to suck it up a while longer, keep doing what you are doing to earn a pay check & get yourself retrained for something you like more. Sit down & create some SMART goals (specific, measureable, assignable, realistic & time based). Dare to dream then set up an action plan to get what you want. If you don't know what you want, read some career books or articles on the internet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
monnieloves Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I know what it feels like to put time in energy in something that once sounded great, but not so much later on. It's amazing how, at times, in order to find what we are good at is by experiencing what we are not. Don't be so hard on yourself. I applaud you for jumping out fearlessly in order to do better. I heard a sermon at my church that I will never forget. The pastor taught on 'Purpose'...We were all created for a purpose. You have gifts and talents inside of you that were put there for a reason. I had to find out what I was good at. What did I love to do naturally. Once I figured that out, I put my time, energy, read books, went to school to perfect that. I know you will find your passion. Don't get discouraged if you haven't yet. It's better to know what you were not meant to do than to do something that will create misery in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Telemachus Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Failure and quitter? You have at least three significant relationships in your life, people who benefit from your presence and contributions. You haven't quit anything. It may not be the career that's the problem, but rather a boss, an individual client, or the comapny culture that's bad. Before choosing another type of activity, try another situation. If you're a nurse you have to be able to work with sick/injured people, and if you're a school teacher you have to be able to work with children, but all else is open to adjustment. I've worked with a great many CPAs who weren't doing full-time accounting work, and I've worked with many attorneys who were not in positions requiring a law degree. Their degrees/bar membership and and certifications weren't wasted, just not necessary but very beneficial. No matter what your profession or career is, you have options. Don't think in terms of quitting; think of it as choosing to do something else. You may be sick of hearing this, but age 24 is still very young, and you will be saying that to a 24 year old decades from now. There is no reason you should have your entire working life planned out in one clear path by age 24. I spent 32 years in one broad field, but in very different jobs and working for many different employers. That didn't make me a quitter, and it didn't make me an unstable person. I've lived in the same house now for 24 years and been married to the same person for that same amount of time. Of all of my job and employer changes, I regret only one choice. All of the others worked out very well, and even if I didn't enjoy the work, I learned something that was useful to a subsequent employer and in a subsequent position. "Your work is to discover your work, and then, with your whole heart, to give yourself to it." (Buddha) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author adreamwithinadream Posted April 19, 2017 Author Share Posted April 19, 2017 I'm supposed to finish my practicum this Friday but I don't think I can go back. I know I will beat myself up either if I go or don't go. The last time I was on pracatcuim was 8 months ago. I don't know how I'm supposed to go back after that long. I don't even remember anything. I had been waiting and waiting for my practicum coordinator to finally give me more hours but now I really don't want to go back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author adreamwithinadream Posted April 19, 2017 Author Share Posted April 19, 2017 (edited) I went to school to be a paramedic. The first time I finished half of my course but I was pregnant so I had to quit because there was noway to finish after having a baby. So I had my baby and went back to school a year later to finish the course. It was extremely hard and I had lots of struggles, axiety and pressure but I got throUgh all the school part and finished! Then comes practcuim I did it for 3 months and it was hell. 12 hour shifts and then I didn't live in the city I did practicum so I was driving 3 hours every time too so 15 hour days and nights were extremely hard. I was so depressed and exhausted during this time. Then after I was finished found out I needed to go back for more hours because I didn't get enough sign offs! Damn oh well right so ok I'm up for it going back. Was waiting and waiting and my practicum coordinator kept saying he was working on scheduling me more hours. Now 8 months later I'm supposed to finish my practicum this Friday but I don't think I can go back. I know I will beat myself up either if I go or don't go. The last time I was on pracatcuim was 8 months ago. I don't know how I'm supposed to go back after that long. I don't even remember anything. I had been waiting and waiting for my practicum coordinator to finally give me more hours but now I really don't want to go back. and it is only for 15 more days but I don't think I can do it. I been trying to do this career for almost 4 years now and it sucks so bad. I wanted to be done a long time ago but now I after all this time and misery I don't think I want to even do this as a career! I have been having the horrible anxiety and depression through all this. I really don't want be a paramedic anymore! But look at all the time and effort I put into this and to just give it all up would make me such a failure! Share Edited April 19, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator two threads merged ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
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