worrying

[Patty]

Im really worried about my pen pal.He's going to be leaving college soon and I'll miss his emails.He wont have internet once he leaves cause its to much money in India he says.Im so worried about him forgetting about me.Last time I heard from him was Saturday.But he keeps on getting more and more distant I'm really worried about our friendship fading.I keep trying to email him telling him how I feel about our friendship fading.So far he hasnt responded to the email.I sent him my po box address so he could snail mail me cause he promised me he would but Im not so sure cause he keeps getting distant alot.I really feel sad.I miss our friendship.He leaves college May 9th.I sent him my po box address ,im not sure if he got it cause he didnt reply to it.I just hope our friendship never fades.Im thinking of resending him my message cause I dont think he got it cause he didnt reply.He has a email address that he uses at his college so I hope he gets my address in enough time before he leaves college.I dont know what I could do with out his friendship.I'd be totally lost.

[Tony T]

This whole friendship thing is very difficult. Friendship means something different to each person and each culture. Some people become deeply attached affectionately or spiritually to others while some are very superficial and stay friends for the duration of a particular situation, such as being in school. Many friendships are situational, while others are for a lifetime and the roots go more deep.

 

Even very good, intense friends can fade out over time as their life situations change. You can be in a friendship and feel the other person is the closest to you in the entire world...while the other person doesn't feel anywhere near the same.

 

You seem very attached to this friend, although he doesn't seem to feel the same. Or he may be very sad and is distancing himself to ease the pain.

 

Friendships take energy to maintain. If you find yourself in a friendship where you are doing all the maintenance, just let it go no matter how painful it is. Find friends who will be there for you and do some of the work as well.

 

Modern communications and transportation has made making friends and acquaintances all over the world a lot more easy. But until they learn how to beam our molecules from one city or country to the other and back so we can visit our friends, it is really best to limit our close friends to a comfortable geographic area where we can properly nurture them.

 

Let this friend go. By letting a friendship go, you do not diminish what you had at one time. You must learn that life is as much about endings as it is about beginnings. Most of our relationships in life are for a set period of time. Some last a day or two, some a month or two. Some a year or two. Don't fight that fact. There is no having joy without without pain. That's just the way it works.

 

Because you know most of your relationships will one day cease, the lesson to be learned is to relish every golden moment with your friend and never take the relationship for granted. Do that and you will never feel bad when your friends move forward in their journey.