Skills for a healthy romantic relationship.

[The Introvert]

Hi Everyone.

 

Well being a naive person inasmuch as how to handle is concerned I thought of starting this thread so that anyone willing to share any skill they deem useful for successful relationships can do so. What are the important skills in a relationship a guy needs?

[d0nnivain]

Being a good listener is important. Really pay attention when your partner talks.

 

 

Be romantic -- look into her eyes, say sweet things etc.

 

 

Communicate.

[WaitingForBardot]

Not so much a skill, but a recognition of the fact that no person other than yourself is responsible for your happiness, support, entertainment, whatever. Sure another person can make some things easier/harder, but ultimately you are the one responsible for yourself.

[RecentChange]

Communication commination communication

 

You need to be able to effectively convey your expectations, your feelings, your desires in a way your partner can understand.

 

You need to listen to your partner, make them feel secure enough to share, and really listen and take what they say to heart.

 

Have empathy and try your best to understand your partner. Understand how your words and actions make them feel, and understand what they are conveying.

 

Remember that not all communication is verbal either, its actions and body language as well.

 

Know when to pick your battles, when to compromise, when to stand your ground.

 

And I am not trying to make it sound like its all about avoiding conflicts – communication and empathy also mean sharing joy and love. Understanding how wonderful your loving actions make your partner feel, and the lovely feelings you get from sharing your love.

 

Also – don’t be complacent. Relationships need tending. Its easy to fall into routines and take each other for granted. Showing your partner appreciation, doing special things for them, making it clear how much you care for them / think about them, will help keep the bond alive.

[Telemachus]

A man needs no skill that a woman doesn't, other than the ability to pee into the toilet and not onto the seat or all around it. The question and its answers should be gender neutral. Other than having mastered the art of peeing into the bowl, it matters not that you're a guy.

 

Being honest and worthy of trust is the most important. It's what relationship partners, and those seeking relationships consistently say and demonstrate that they value most.

 

A recent study of relationships considered by both participants to be most satisfying for the long term found this - each brings unique interests and people into the circle of friends and conversation. It isn't necessarily that opposites do well together, but having different hobbies and interests and sharing with the other about them is most important.

 

If you're both research scientists, and met in grad school studying the same field and work in the same lab for the same company and have few outside interests and know almost all the same people, you're pretty much doomed, from the standpoint of maximizing mutual satisfaction for the long term.

 

Not having the same goals and values, but compatible goals and values, is also important. For example, if one of you desperately wants to have children, and the other is at least open to it, it's a go. If one is a spender/borrower and the other is a frugal saver, it's a no-go. That doesn't mean that if you prefer vacations hiking in the mountains and your partner prefers lying on a beach and reading that you can't alternate or take separate vacations and have a lot to talk about.

[basil67]

You know the addage "treat others as you would want to be treated"? Ignore it. We are not all the same and don't want the same things.

 

Instead, treat her as she wants to be treated.

[OatsAndHall]

You know the addage "treat others as you would want to be treated"? Ignore it. We are not all the same and don't want the same things.

 

Instead, treat her as she wants to be treated.

 

We will have to agree to disagree here. I will treat always woman with care and respect but I expect the same in return. I will not be involved with a woman where there isn't reciprocity. I have dated too many women who have the "if you can't handle me at my worst, the you don't deserve me at my best" mentality and I refuse to pander to that anymore. A quality relationship is based on mutual respect, proper communication and compromise. All of those things have gone out the window when I date a woman who wants to be placed on a pedestal.